to be fed up of this aggressive baking

[JHMJHM]

DH comes home at least once a month with yet another bakery offering from a woman he works with. I don't get when this became a thing? He defends it by saying how 'nice' it is and that she just likes 'making cakes' but I find it fucking odd and it really irks me.

To be honest I am queasy over other peoples baked goods- and I am sick of seeing her brownies seeping over my work surfaces. I don't get it at all and it boils my piss that DH cant see that it is WIERD. Why do people think they need to invest the time (and expense!) into feeding them their foul cakes? Its not like my DH is ill or thin, he is pretty robust.

Baking belts for cake tins????????
Have we just crossed over into, I dunno, S&M???

She wants people to like her. I don't like brownies and certainly not home cooked ones. How do you know they wash their hands, not lick the mix off a spoon or their fingers etc.

Yes you are wierd. You sound insanely jealous and seeing a threat where there is none.

MikeUniform, how do you know what people do in the factory? And not only in cake factories, but in any factory that prepares or packages food?

This is all very interesting and it is apparent that it is not necessarily gender divided. In the interests of balance does anyone work in an office where this baking stuff doesn't happen

So we've now gone from once a month to every week. This woman really is speeding up on her baking techniques- shows that practice pays off!

No not a threat issue I just don't want loads of cake in the house and dh finds it embarasing to say no so it just keeps coming

Hi no it is about twice a month or so

Does she make coffee and walnut cake?
Carrot cake?
Lemon drizzle?

Tell your dh that to stop his jealous wife having a fit over his cakes.... I'll have them!!

onalongsabbatical

I got suckered in by Amazon "recommended for you" . Apparently they're supposed to help the cakes stay flatter or something. I don't think they have S&M qualities but they might be aggressive until they get to know my stranger-cake tins.

Not happening in my office any more, OP. I miss it. We should never have let that boy go...

So if your dh doesn't want it, why can't he just say politely "we are trying to stop eating cake, so I won't take any more home, but thanks anyway, it's ever so kind" instead of all this angst over whether she is aggressive or sexist or whatever? Why does it have to be so difficult? There were times when I couldn't eat our lovely boy's offerings due to dental issues- so I said so. Didn't think to blame him.

TempusEedjit ok, I just went and looked them up on Amazon.
Helps to bake moist and level cakes without large cracks
Do you suffer from large cracks, then?

Or as I say to my own teen son, re teen parties: "Unless someone is actually pinning you down and force-feeding you through a funnel I don't want to hear you blaming other people for supplying the stuff."

OP also asked why she would do this.

I used to bake every few weeks and take the results in to the office. For me it was a form of stress release and I enjoyed doing it. I used to do it particularly before a Team Meeting as our boss was a bully but my colleagues were lovely, so it was a way of making the day bearable. I even one year made a separate batch of gluten free mince pies for one of my colleagues who was coeliac (and ordinary mince pies for the rest of them).

No longer working in an office and I miss having the excuse to bake. (Channel it now into baking for the Junior Section of the rugby club and chocolate chip cookies for ds' team mates )

(By "she" I meant the baker in her dh's office )

The issue is your DH then. It's not that hard to say 'sorry, I don't like cake', and if he eats eat then always takes loads home the baker is naturally going to assume he likes the baked goods and likes taking extras home with him.

Some people can get a bit weird about others not taking a slice of cake, but no one would get weird about him not taking a box full home, so this 'problem' is entirely of your DH's making. All he needs to do is tell his colleague he's on a diet (since it's a bit late for the truth now). If he can't bring himself to say no, then again, that's about his issues, not hers.

onalongsabbatical I did say I am overweight

To me the issue is the stupidness of cake culture. YANBU if you are sick to death of this idiocy.

I can't decide whether you have anger and insecurity issues, a bit unhinged or just nasty.

I bake. I'm good at it. When I was working (currently SAHM to 3 kids), I would take in home baking once or twice a month for my colleagues, and it seemed to be greatly appreciated. I would have people asking if I could possibly make carrot cake/lemon drizzle etc next time, as it as their personal favourite. It was not a daily thing by any means, but it was sociable and didn't feel unprofessional!

My DH is a doctor and will take in his own baking if a colleague has a birthday, or is moving on to another job. He is pretty good at cooking and baking, and his efforts are also appreciated! Nobody views him as unprofessional for doing this: they at usually very impressed and ask for whatever recipe he has used.

I go to a weekly mums and toddlers group, and we are on a rota to provide snacks for the adults and kids that attend. Plenty of people don't bake and bring shop cakes, but the ones who enjoy it will bring their own baking.

I don't get the angst here. There is clearly a baker at your husband's work, and he appreciates her cakes enough to take some home! It's not anti-feminist to bake if you like it, and men can equally do it (see example of DH above).

Agressive baking....hilarious!!!!!

Compulsive = baking every couple of weeks.

OP you say you dont want them in your home. Well your DH does and its home too.

This has been really illuminating. So one final question to the bakers- would you be offended/taken aback/hurt if a colleague said firmly that they didn't want to be offered cake anymore so they didnt have to keep saying no thanks and feeling awkward for whatever reason (diet/diabetes/whevs). Thats my last and very genuine question.

Oh and I take baking into work when we are celebrating or having an event, which is at least once a month. I am a woman in a senior position.

Dh does the baking for me though.

Why would you be offended?

But equally- why say anything? Is it particularly arduous to say "No thiank you" every couple of weeks? Why make it into a "thing"?

I think I might be mildly pissed off if somebody said no because their partner told them to though. But not because of the cake- because I'm a bit hypersensitive to controlling people.