To ask what is the weirdest most bizzare concoction of food ever served to you?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I've just mentioned this on another thread and am bored on this miserable rainy afternoon so would love to hear some of yours.

My mum is a terrible cook, but still insists on experimenting with various meals. A few of the things we were served as a child:

Tinned mandarin and vanilla muller yoghurt poured over chicken breasts. The yoghurt curdled.

'Risotto'. This was made by leaving the basmati rice in its water, stirring through tomato purée and throwing some plastic cheese on top.

At Christmas one year she basted the turkey in lime juice, and put pineapple rings on top.

She stirs through primula cheese in a tube into mashed potato.

'Tropical rice'- boiling it in tropical fruit juice or squash.

It's been YEARS since I braved a meal at hers but my brothers tell me not much has changed. Looking back these dishes fasincate and horrify me in equal measures. I made sure I knew what I was doing cooking-wise from quite a young age.

Anyone got any horrors or just plain strange ones to add?

Even if I wasn't*

Fishfinger Sweet and sour (uncle bens) I'm not gonna lie it is bloody lovely but can't face cooking it myself!

Birdseye "crispy chicken steak" thing, with chips, tinned spaghetti bolognese and a fried egg.

I had a vegetarian xmas dinner once whilst eating out with work colleagues. It was quiche. With all the usual xmas dinner accompaniments including gravy!

'Dripping' on toast, my Nan's speciality (dripping is the beef fat left after a roast scraped out of the pan and spread on toast like butter).

Sick of Greek salad mid holiday, I excitedly ordered a tuna salad from a taverna on the rather desolate island of Simi only to be presented with a desert sized bowl of tinned tuna mashed with mayonnaise (like you'd get in a sandwich), not a cucumber or tomato in sight.

The worst thing I ever ate was tofurkey (yes, a vegetarian fake Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey thing, come with fake bacon).

It was supposed to taste like that and it was the most horrible thing I ever have had before or since. It way about 5 years ago and I can still taste it.

This passes for the 'gluten-free dessert' at a black tie do I went to. Not an odd combo as such. Just looks like someone sicked up a turd.

Boozy banana? I once had blue cheese ice cream at a very fancy doo. It was beyond awful.

blue cheese ice cream

It was in little frozen rugby bowl shapes which pinged about the plate when you chased them with a spoon. Not worth catching. I felt sorry for the staff having to take them all back to the kitchen as they skittered around the plates.

Rack of Spam. Honestly.
Cut downward slits in a line through a block of Spam, but don't cut right through, just allow the Spam to fan out. Between each fan line pop in a Dairylea cheese triangle.
Bake on a medium heat for about 20 minutes.

Disgusting.

Rack of Spam 😂😂😂 amazing

MIL once made moussaka (one of my favourites). The only issue was the very thick layer of egg on the top

MIL once made moussaka (one of my favourites). The only issue was the very thick layer of egg on the top

moussaka should have egg on top, was it just too much egg?

My MIL is a very frugal cook. We stayed for 5 days, on the last night she made 'leftover curry'. It was all the food that had been left on our plates over the previous 4 days, carefully stored in the fridge, then covered with a jar of bright yellow 'curry flavoured' sauce... mushy slices of tomato and lettuce with dressing on them, half a burger that ds hadn't eaten, soft broccoli / carrots / peas, chopped up ham and turkey meat out of sandwiches, old chips - it all went in. God, it was hideous.

awe, noooooooo!

I would not eat that! Did you?!

My mum's take on Indian cuisine ( this was In the '70's) was to fry mince, add a tin of Heinz curried beans ( the ones with sultanas in, do they still make them?) and surround the result with a ring of instant mash. I rather liked it.

Jakey the risotto/tortellini/garlic bread sounds really nice! :) (I'm also a huge carb fan )

aweewhile, that sounds about the grimmest thing I've ever heard
And as for rack of Spam

I haven't actually tasted it - and I guess it must be popular or they wouldn't still make it, so maybe it's just me being fussy - but the worst combination I can think of is the Iceland specialty Chicken Tikka Lasagne. I remember when it was first advertised on telly, I had to look away. Curry, yum. Cheese sauce, yum. Together? Nooooo :(

I'm nowhere near as repulsed by chicken tikka lasagne as I should be 😂

Yes. I remember my mum making banana wrapped in bacon with cheese sauce. Thankfully it was for dinner parties and we children ate earlier!

Sprouts and spaghetti- not bad actually - had in US - stir fried with garlic and olive oil!
Not as weird as it sounds!

My cousin used to eat- shippams sardine and tomato paste in a jacket potato. With a slice of Dairylea plastic cheese on top.
🤢