To ask what is the weirdest most bizzare concoction of food ever served to you?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I've just mentioned this on another thread and am bored on this miserable rainy afternoon so would love to hear some of yours.

My mum is a terrible cook, but still insists on experimenting with various meals. A few of the things we were served as a child:

Tinned mandarin and vanilla muller yoghurt poured over chicken breasts. The yoghurt curdled.

'Risotto'. This was made by leaving the basmati rice in its water, stirring through tomato purée and throwing some plastic cheese on top.

At Christmas one year she basted the turkey in lime juice, and put pineapple rings on top.

She stirs through primula cheese in a tube into mashed potato.

'Tropical rice'- boiling it in tropical fruit juice or squash.

It's been YEARS since I braved a meal at hers but my brothers tell me not much has changed. Looking back these dishes fasincate and horrify me in equal measures. I made sure I knew what I was doing cooking-wise from quite a young age.

Anyone got any horrors or just plain strange ones to add?

Boiled white cabbage with a poached egg and Colemans cheese sauce on top

Mmm. Needs a muffin to go with it though.

Some of these combos are making me hungry.

Pork chop, egg noodles and tomatoes. We no longer have it but used to be a staple meal. I know it's odd, but it's actually not that bad!

I would eat pork steaks and noodles and tomatoes sounds nice (i dont like chops)

Years ago, myself & DH were staying in a hotel in Wales. They made a big thing of having a Michelin starred chef so we booked to eat in the restaurant.

I am vegetarian so only one option available, a supposed tower of roasted veg, mushrooms & marinated tofu on a nest of vermicelli noodles in fancy sauce.

Mmmmhhh I thought....

When it arrived it was a rice cake portion of vermicelli noodles... the chef didn't have the rest of the ingredients. They still expected me to pay £16.50 for this!

On account of being half starved I got completely pissed & puked all over the bed & in the wardrobe

Sausages with taco shells and vegetable curry served by the MIL

I had a good friend at Gonville and Cauis - No wonder he was always asking me over for supper :)

Mind you, I was so overawed by Cambridge, that I scarcely remember much about the food!

The worst combo I was served was by a boyfriend who wanted to create a memorable meal.

It sure was....

Baked Trout Stuffed with Curried Banana

Batted ribs with chip shop curry.

Just recalled another -

Curried Turkey with lashings of Banana (I hope you're getting the drift here)

Have nc as this is totally outing to anyone that knows me.

Baked beans with curry powder and lettuce thrown in, for 'something green'. It was awful. Thanks parents.

DH's accidental one. On holiday at a serve yourself buffet type thing. He got roast beef, potatoes, veg, a piece of beef wellington and rich beef gravy. Except the 'beef wellington' was cherry strudel meant for dessert.

My gran used to make a sort of stew made with bacon, onions and potatoes cooked in milk.

Salmon fillet, instant curry noodles, an omelette, a dollop of mayonniase and an apple. On the SAME plate.All foods touching

Kindly served up by a bf's mum at uni.

Bubble and squeak, mushroom stroganoff, curry and roast potatoes. All quite nice eaten separately, when you grow up with my mum catering you learn to make the most of a bad job!

No matter how many times I tell her that i just want the veg she insists on cooking a spicy bean burger to go with my roast dinner. Again, I just treat it like a started and try to keep the gravy away from it as much as possible.

Oh I just remembered the first breakfast my MIL served.
Big thick chunks of half melted cheese on toast served with green ketchup (when it was available) and a nice cold cup of weak milky coffee. She thought it would help with our hangovers.
Sweet of her but I couldn't eat it.

After a delicious roast beef dinner, with home made Yorkshire Puddings (in Canada so quite impressive as they aren't a big thing there) the host's wife told me he would now be bringing out this amazing dessert- his specialty. She said she loved it and I thought given the amazing dinner is would be awesome.

It was stewed apple with cornflakes and grated cheddar. Served with dream whip (an artificially sweetened whipped cream-like substance). I actually retched whilst eating it.

I agree that people serve veggies weird concoctions. Similar to a poster on the first page, I was at a conference and we had a sit down 3 course dinner, I was served a slice of tomato, on mixed beans, with some random cubes or beetroot for decoration. My boss looked at it like wtf - can't say I was impressed either!

Another time I was given a stack of mushrooms and slices of grilled cheese. Hardened grilled cheese.

Oh! And yesterday DS ate sliced ham on malt loaf. But he's 4 so.... you know 🙈

Egg custard with a prawn in the bottom. It wasn't good...

Christmas dinner included Brussels sprouts topped with fag ash courtesy of ex's mum. She denied even smoking even though her flat stank of cigarettes.

DH once presented me with a whole cauliflower on a plate for dinner, lovingly sprinkled with nutmeg "for flavour".

Pasta, the little shell shapes, with dried out chicken breast in a sweet and sour uncle bens sauce. It was horrible.

My long departed great aunt Nancy used to make random "Curries" to use up leftovers. One had stale jam tarts crumbled in.
She thought the idea of yogurt was "disgusting" though as it was sour milk.
She also thought microwave ovens were controlled by satellites from outer space.

Just asked DP and he says choc ice and chips! But not served to him, apparently it was the dinner his sisters received from their dad on the day he was born (while his mum was in the hospital.)

My ExH also had an accidental one..at a buffet diner in the US he gave himself ridiculously greedy portions of vanilla and strawberry ice cream. He tucked in with relish and immediately turned green...it was flavoured whipped butter.....I still laugh at that one.