To ask what is the weirdest most bizzare concoction of food ever served to you?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I've just mentioned this on another thread and am bored on this miserable rainy afternoon so would love to hear some of yours.

My mum is a terrible cook, but still insists on experimenting with various meals. A few of the things we were served as a child:

Tinned mandarin and vanilla muller yoghurt poured over chicken breasts. The yoghurt curdled.

'Risotto'. This was made by leaving the basmati rice in its water, stirring through tomato purée and throwing some plastic cheese on top.

At Christmas one year she basted the turkey in lime juice, and put pineapple rings on top.

She stirs through primula cheese in a tube into mashed potato.

'Tropical rice'- boiling it in tropical fruit juice or squash.

It's been YEARS since I braved a meal at hers but my brothers tell me not much has changed. Looking back these dishes fasincate and horrify me in equal measures. I made sure I knew what I was doing cooking-wise from quite a young age.

Anyone got any horrors or just plain strange ones to add?

Lots of weird sweet/savoury combos whilst living in the US. Jelly with vegetables (carrots/ peas/sweetcorn) set in the middle anyone?

When MIL was recovering from a brain injury she was encouraged to try to cook food she was previously good at and loved, so she made lasagne.

Only she made it with runner beans and peas instead of meat. We all pretended it was delicious.

My friend once made me a cup of tea with banana milkshake as we'd run out of milk

@HarrietKettleWasHere your mum's cooking sounds... adventurous no weird concoctions spring to my mind but I always like to relay a story about my OH. He's an incredibly talented chef, has won some awards etc and although I'm biased he is just naturally really good at it. However one time I watched him make himself a "snack"; crumpet, topped with sweetcorn relish, finished with a cheese slice (the burger kind). He insists it was really good, I couldn't bring myself to even try it so sadly can't vouch for him. I was pretty speechless.

Green Thai curry made with spam by my OH. It was memorable for all the wrong reasons. Please don't ever try this.

I'm liking the cabbage and poached egg In cheese sauce, the primula mash, and the crumpet with sweetcorn relish and cheese.
So far so normal here.

Oddest combination myself would be at a hotel breakfast buffet; I served myself bacon, eggs, sausage, hash browns, and a large dollop of sweetened porridge (not sure what I thought it was. But it wasn't that).

Hot grapefruit with brown sugar at a friend's house was memorable for all the wrong reasons. I also got served paté floating in a sea of Cranberry Sauce at a work's Christmas do one year. That went back. Don't seem to have much luck with starters

Probably the worst combo though was a tuna mayo and pube fusion at a friend's house. Didn't even attempt to indulge in that one oddly enough

MIL's speciality is pasta salad. So far, so normal.

Except that she makes it with a jar of Uncle Ben's sweet and sour sauce, and serves it cold as part of a buffet.

This will out me but here goes

Deep fried fat sausages dipped in vanilla ice cream

Smoked back bacon shallow fried till crispy and smothered in creamy custard

DS loves a Premier Inn breakfast, so he can have his masterpiece - bacon and Nutella croissants.

As a teenager in the late 70s we went on holiday to the south of France and stayed with a friend of my Dad's in a coastal but untouristy area (they still existed then, in the Camargue region).

On the dinner table was a large glass bowl filled with razor clams, water, lemon and parsley. The clams were still alive witnessed by the bubbles in the water. I thought they were a charming decoration, but they turned out to be our starter! You were supposed to open one clam using the sharp razor side of another and glug it down live like an oyster.

I declined.

My works canteen comes up with some real "nearing their use-by date" corkers. The most memorable was the roasted red pepper, horseradish and tarragon soup.

Battered Brussels sprouts.

Cold un-battered Brussels sprouts in mayonnaise.

There are some truly awful concoctions here!

I've not had anything quite so bad - the worst one was when DStepMIL once served DH and I chicken curry...with grated cheddar on top.

I was helping her in the kitchen, so I said no thanks to the cheese for me, but decided that DH would definitely want to try that combination

A chicken and leek pie with oranges in it. So weird and unpleasant, every mouthful was excruciating.

I was a proper official latch-key kid, so was in charge of my own dinners I give you: Iceberg lettuce, topped with butterscotch angel delight, smothered with salt (which I had thought was sugar), yes I ate it!

DP lovingly served me garlic and herb chicken kievs, peas, and... poached eggs. Apparently he didn't know what to do with it because he didn't want to do 'potatoes wrong'

I'd rather have had 'wrong potatoes' than runny poached eggs. He still maintains it was alright and a reasonable decision. Can you all please tell him this is rank?

I saw green jelly with a lot of meals in America i was to scared to try it

roast courgette and chocolate ice-cream

it wasn't bad actually, we finished it, but I wouldn't be rushing out to make it again

Avocado soup, served up by DM - tasted of a mix of burned rubber and vomit.

Dh once served me chilli con carne made with two whole bulbs of garlic. He had been confused by cloves and bulbs so had lovingly peeled and chopped clove after clove. It was utterly repulsive.

Dm is a fabulous baker but an awful cook. She is most famous for her 'fridge clean out meals' you would end up with a fish finger, half a findus crispy pancake, three chicken nuggets and half a ready meal. All served up with a potato croquette and tinned marrrowfat peas.

Grandads favourite was tinned burgers and tinned potatoes. Ick

The grapefruit and brown sugar concoction was actually quite a 70/80's speciality...

When I was about 8 I was being babysat by my cousin a few days after Christmas. She served me and my brother chicken kiev with Yule log, together. For breakfast.
I loved it.

I'm usually a fairly decent cook, but I once made a curry with beef mince and coconut milk. Vom.

I have no idea what I was thinking.

I'll confess that in my student days I used to buy the economy cans of beans and economy pasta, then use the beans as a pasta sauce. If I was feeling rich a can of economy sweetcorn would find it's way in.

The ILs are shocking cooks.

I give you... bolognaise sauce with raisins in it (so you could get your 5 a day).

That was almost 25 years ago but still vivid.