To ask what is the weirdest most bizzare concoction of food ever served to you?

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

I've just mentioned this on another thread and am bored on this miserable rainy afternoon so would love to hear some of yours.

My mum is a terrible cook, but still insists on experimenting with various meals. A few of the things we were served as a child:

Tinned mandarin and vanilla muller yoghurt poured over chicken breasts. The yoghurt curdled.

'Risotto'. This was made by leaving the basmati rice in its water, stirring through tomato purée and throwing some plastic cheese on top.

At Christmas one year she basted the turkey in lime juice, and put pineapple rings on top.

She stirs through primula cheese in a tube into mashed potato.

'Tropical rice'- boiling it in tropical fruit juice or squash.

It's been YEARS since I braved a meal at hers but my brothers tell me not much has changed. Looking back these dishes fasincate and horrify me in equal measures. I made sure I knew what I was doing cooking-wise from quite a young age.

Anyone got any horrors or just plain strange ones to add?

Oh and my 2 pregnancy discoveries hot sausage sarnies with cottage cheese on and corned beef and philli cheese sandwich

At a family meal in a restaurant, my wee granny ordered a chicken curry. The waiter asked her which side she would like, meaning rice or naan bread, Granny hmm-d and haa-d, then decided on cauliflower cheese

Cheap peanut butter and fish paste on toast. (Dad)
(Dh and DFIL) A combination of Christmas mince pies and pork pies with branston, mustard, peri peri and cranberry sauce. It is however great fun when they get like that

We had a veggie Burns night once where we were given dry veggie haggis, served with swede and very stodgy cornmeal bread. No gravy of any kind. The hosts had clearly just had a big row too so the atmosphere was frosty.

Duck a la banana 😂

MotherofPearl - DH likes marmite and marmalade. Ugh!

My low point was pancake soup, on a school trip to Austria. Fortunately we were old enough to be allowed into town afterwards. We swiftly found McDonalds.

I feel extraordinary grateful that the oddest thing I recall is lime and chicken. Remember it because it was gross

I was travelling and after weeks of eating rice we spotted a pizza place. I ordered a chicken satay pizza (I know) and was salivating at the thought of it.

Waited absolutely ages and it finally arrived with sliced roast potato on top and not a hint of anything satay. I sent it back, the chef came and explained they were out of chicken so used potato (as you do) but would "fix it". He returned a minute later with the same pizza covered in baked beans. I queried if this was satay. "No" he replied, "it's potato and beans, but it looks a bit like chicken satay".

We used to take the dses for cooking classes at Waitrose - we got to abandon them for 90 minutes and browse, whilst they made cookies or cup cakes.

One class was chicken kebabs in a yoghurt sauce - which sounded nice, and they were looking forward to having them for their tea, when we got home. Unfortunately they were given strawberry yoghurt to make the sauce with! I assume they'd run out of natural yoghurt, and weren't allowed to get more from the shop. It looked like sick, and tasted worse - and because they had cooked the chicken kebabs in the sauce, the whole thing was inedible.

Reggae reggae liver curry. My SILs family have a farm and whenever she goes to visit she will bring my mum various cuts of beef in little white bags, my mum didn't label these ones before she put them in the freezer. She took out what she though was thin cut steaks for beef curry and invited us all down for dinner. When defrosted it turned out to be liver, she cooked it off anyway with onion and peppers, added curry powder and a jar of that reggae reggae sauce and served it to us. It was vile. She thought we wouldn't notice, she actually said those words. She is obviously reminded of it often when we talk of her cooking skills.

Oh god. I've just remembered my grandads sausage casserole.

Raw sausages, tinned plum tomatoes and raw onion, chucked in the oven as soon as he turned it on and left on a low heat all day so he could go and play bowls.

The sausages boiled in the tomato juice and remained pink. Truly awful.

@NotCitrus can confirm your experiences of Caius food . Look back on it with some fondness now ha. Did you get the mutated-to-oversized, slightly orange baked potatoes?

My family are so boring, my gran used to put vinegar on green beans, but it's lush, no stranger than that apart from my banana and Marmite sat is when I was pregnant

You know in the USA there is a liking for bacon and maple syrup, perhaps with pancakes? I get that.

On a road trip around New England we stayed in a b&b in Maine and were served warm apple pie (heated up in the microwave so it wasn't crisp) with squirty cream, fruit salad in the side and rashers of bacon. Bacon and cold cream is just vile ...

Pesto diluted with water, courtesy of my DH. I could not eat it.
A landslide of garlic mayo poured all over chips, making them soggy and fatty as hell.
Reading this doesn't help my lack of appetite I have suffered from recently. Strawberry yogurt in curry, seriously vomit inducing.

Yes to vinegar on green beans, peas too.

Some of these have eclipsed my mum's culinary escapades for sure

The 'satay' pizza made me laugh. When we were in South Korea once, we ordered a pizza, no pictures or English so we pointed to the first one because that usually turns out to be cheese and tomato.

It had a huge bloody great crab still in its shell just sitting on top, looking up at us.

Used to have a vegetarian friend who we would take in turns to have dinner parties with. She would cook meat meals for me DH and her partner. Thing is, she obviously never tasted these meals. Nor did she ask any one to try them for her. All meals were boring at best. The worse had to be spaghetti bolognaise which was grey in colour and so bloody spicy no one could eat it!

At my wedding party, they brought out a cabbage, studded with sticks on which were skewered cocktail sausages and marshmallows. I may have a photo of me wearing it as a hat......

Went for tea at a school friends shepherds pie with a layer of baked beans under the mash before the mince they were crispy

In hindsight this probably wasn't the best thread to read while in the throes of morning sickness

Oh I remember another, worse than reggae reggae liver curry. When I was a teenager I went to my friends house for dinner, we were served a lime jelly concoction with rice, pork and vegetables in it, it was actually all set in lime flavour dessert jelly, I remember not being able to physically put fork to mouth in case I was sick. The white rice and carrots had turned into a radioactive green colour, oh it was awful. I've noticed cookbooks from the 70s have similar dishes but this was the late 90s.

Soup made from random leftovers including gravy, green beans and broccoli.

Mil was a terrible cook all her meat looked grey

We're on holiday, and at a restaurant on Monday I dared my DP to order the special dessert, it was caramelised asparagus and strawberries with vanilla ice cream! He said that the odd thing on the plate was actually the vanilla ice cream. I had a bite and it was all kinds of wrong!!