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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never invite this annoying little brat round again

432 replies

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 16/05/2017 17:31

Dds friend (9) is round for dinner... know she is a fussy fucker but her mum did tell me she eats anything. Cue today Shepard pie , after picking all the peas out of the damn thing she proceeds to sit at the table making super loud ewww, and yuck noises, while moaning she doesn't like it. There are 5 other kids sat round the table ffs.

She had also completely ignored anything my dd has wanted to do and just buggered off with the other kids, keeps just picking my newborn up without asking, moaning to play on my iPad and get the rabbits out when it's pissing down. I could go on I actually had to leave the room while dinner was happening!
Never known anything like it!

OP posts:
MrsMontgomerySmythe · 17/05/2017 06:41

We had a rather painful sleepover once.

My DS was around 11-12 and had a 3/4 sized bed. Lots of room for them to share.

But our guest replied "I don't share".

Ok I replied you can sleep in the first room next door - "I don't sleep alone".

So next offer was a good quality air mattress - the type that are a foot high. His memorable reply was "I don't sleep on air"!

I simply handed him a sleeping bag and suggested he slept on the floor.

"I don't sleep in the floor I want DS bed just for me".

DS was not going to pander so the guest slept on the floor - complained to everyone for months to come and was not invited back!

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2017 06:52

Maisy. I said her behaviour was atrocious. And I certainly didn't say her parenting should excuse her behaviour and oblige others to change the rules.

MaisyPops · 17/05/2017 07:04

Mummy - so you and I agree.

I don't think people have been unduly unfair on the situation.

FrancisCrawford · 17/05/2017 07:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

faithinthesound · 17/05/2017 07:12

Mummyoflittledragon
I'm not at all sure you even read the majority of my post.

And good for you faithin that you'd wolf down shepherds pie. You're not 9, are you?
No, now I am not nine. But at nine, I would still have wolfed it down. Additionally, I acknowledged that was my personal preference, and that it was beside the point and unhelpful. To pick the point I labeled unhelpful, and use it to decide my whole post is unhelpful, tells me you didn't bother with much of the rest.

The child's behaviour was atrocious, yes. But we cannot assume children will eat stuff just because we like it or decree all children like certain foods.
Nobody asked the child to like it. We just expect her not to be a rude little madam about it.

I think the food eating is a red herring as some children just are fussy and those, who are lucky not to have fussy eaters just don't get it.
OP asked this child's mother what she eats, and was told Shepherd's Pie was fine. It isn't as if she put a plate of poo with pickle in front of the child.

I'm starting to find this thread more and more distasteful as people muscle with their comments on a 9 yr old little, prepubescent child, who sadly hasn't been taught better.
You can unclench that fist of yours from around your pearls. We are venting on the internet. When OP or one of us seeks this child out to tell her to her face some or all of what has transpired here, then you can resume clutching.

It isn't her fault her parenting is shit.
No, it's not. But that doesn't mean OP and everyone else who comes into contact with this child has to just put up with the bad behavior. That's why OP should tell the mother. Then she's done all she can, hasn't she?

Whatever happened to it take a village mentality?
It died out around about the same time that "Don't tell my kid what to do, you nosy old cow, I'm her mother, not you" and variations on the theme, came into vogue.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2017 07:24

Sounds like you had fun picking my post to bits Grin Grin. This all sounds very overinvested. I don't flounce or clutch pearls. I'm sorry if you didn't like my one comment about you.

Brighteyes27 · 17/05/2017 07:27

To be fair I would imagine many kids of that age don't like a shepherds pie. I have one who loves it any another who would moan quietly, maybe play with it with her fork but probably wouldn't eat any. Their is also a whole host of differences in the taste of various Mums cooking or not cooking. My DS has enjoyed some mums cooking much more or much less than others. DD has a friend who mum has ill health they live on crap and a home cooked meal would be something out of the freezer (this friend ate very little even when I made homemade pizza and homemade chips and chicken nuggets and she rarely sat at the still at the table she obviously wasn't used to it but she was DD's friend. I hope neither of my children would never behave like that girl did though.
Yanbu to not want her back in future maybe have less D.C.'s round and give a choice of three foods most kids normally like but only make one of them.

Wisteriainwhite · 17/05/2017 07:30

faithinthesound that was an incredibly aggressive response.

faithinthesound · 17/05/2017 07:37

Mummyoflittledragon
I am sorry for how aggressive my last post was. Rereading it I can see the aggression. I felt like you had picked out one part of a multipart post and then misrepresented my entire position based on that, which has happened a couple of times this week, leaving me more than a little defensive. None of which is your fault. I apologize.

claraschu · 17/05/2017 07:38

Parents routinely say: "My child will eat anything". This often has absolutely no foundation in reality.

SouthWestmom · 17/05/2017 07:45

We are vegetarian and had one memorable encounter where mum came and rescued him (clearly planned) hissing don't worry, we'll go to McDonalds on the way home.

He sat there refusing all food - I don't eat vegetarian food. I don't eat that. Why isn't there any meat.

My kids were aghast, and then in hysterics.

It was pasta, plain sauce, cheese and then ice cream. Not a lentil or whole vegetable in sight.

Willow2017 · 17/05/2017 07:47

This is an anonymous internet forum people use it for venting. It's not like op threw the kid in irons

The kid was utterly rude, disrespectful, took food off a baby so she could do something she had been told not to do. She went into rooms she had me business to be in and questioned the adults never mind the ridiculous behaviour at the table. She was a nightmare.

Damm right I would have sent her home. If telling her not to do something didn't work them that's it. My house my rules.

And I would have told her parents why.

No wonder kids are growing up with no respect for anyone but themselves these days of if we excuse behaviour like this. She is 9 she knows damm well how to behave when in someone else's house.

If someone allows their kids to come to my house them they abide by my rules or don't come it's that simple.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/05/2017 07:50

That's ok faithin. And thanks. I'm sorry too. I was not happy with the people calling the child little shit etc so I was also guilty of being annoyed at that moment too. I didn't mean my post to make you feel undervalued. It's taken me a while not to get upset by some of the more acidic posts on here. Smile

FrancisCrawford · 17/05/2017 07:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 17/05/2017 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ceto · 17/05/2017 08:06

But we cannot assume children will eat stuff just because we like it or decree all children like certain foods

But we can assume they won't be rude about it, and certainly that they won't sit there making loud yuk noises.

Floggingmolly · 17/05/2017 08:14

But we cannot assume children will eat stuff
But op didn't assume anything. She checked with bratty's mum and was told she eats shepherds pie. She can be forgiven for assuming her mum would know.

Ginslinger · 17/05/2017 08:14

how pleasant and lovely are Mummyoflittledragon and faithin? If only the rest of MN could be so considerate Flowers to you both

FrancisCrawford · 17/05/2017 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claraschu · 17/05/2017 08:38

Probably the girl will eat her father or mother's shepherd's pie. I have 3 grown kids and have always had lots of kids over after school to play.

In my experience, lots of parents say their children like food which the children subsequently don't eat.

This is what I have observed, and it no longer surprises me because it happens all the time.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes · 17/05/2017 09:12

Entirely agree that the child was rude. But I just had to say that once when my Son was about 5 or 6 he was invited for tea at a friends house. The Mum asked if he liked shepherds pie. I answered yes. And he didn't eat it. He wasn't rude, and declined an offer of something else. (If I remember right he ate the mash off the top) When I asked him later why he didn't eat his reply was 'the gravy looked different 🤔'. He's not even usually fussy so I was a bit confused. So I slightly forgive the Mum of the girl for saying her daughter liked something which she usually eats. People do cook things differently. The rest of the story is unbelievable, and I would've probably taken the girl home before the dinner.

PoisonousSmurf · 17/05/2017 09:17

My DD had a friend over years ago when at primary. They were 7 at the time. The child broke a couple of DDs toys and stole some little ones and didn't even play with her.
She, never, ever came round again!

FurryLittleTwerp · 17/05/2017 09:25

It's nothing to do with whether she liked the food or not or whether there were or were no peas/carrots/swede/other veg in the shepherd's pie - no-one likes everything & people make things differently - it's the RUDENESS - it's not hard to politely try to eat some, or politely say "I'm sorry, I don't really like it - please may I have some bread & butter?"

My DS would have known to do that at a much younger age not that it ever happened as he has always eaten most things

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 17/05/2017 10:19

Just been informed she was also sucking the newborns dummy! I'm seriously fucked off now.

OP posts:
LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 17/05/2017 10:31

Other things I found out as well..swearing, pushing and being rude to 12 yr old ds, throwing toys down the stairs testing my hall furniture! asking my 6 yr old where the hamster is (she knows the hamster died?) asked where she was buried and told him to get her! That actually upset me, yet I still haven't told her mum what the fuck is wrong with me?

OP posts:
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