To never invite this annoying little brat round again

[LolaTheDarkdestroyer]

Dds friend (9) is round for dinner... know she is a fussy fucker but her mum did tell me she eats anything. Cue today Shepard pie , after picking all the peas out of the damn thing she proceeds to sit at the table making super loud ewww, and yuck noises, while moaning she doesn't like it. There are 5 other kids sat round the table ffs.

She had also completely ignored anything my dd has wanted to do and just buggered off with the other kids, keeps just picking my newborn up without asking, moaning to play on my iPad and get the rabbits out when it's pissing down. I could go on I actually had to leave the room while dinner was happening!
Never known anything like it!

A few years ago we had a couple of friends each for both my DDs. One of thrm persistently organised 'cat hunts' and hounded our elderly cat, even in the street. He eventually fucked off over a fence but he's st the age where he just likes a sleep so climbing fences isn't in his routine. I told her, asked her, explained he was old, told the others, did everything short of send her home there and then. When her mum came to collect her I told her about what had happened and she looked confused and said 'but she wasn't bad though?' Never had her back here again. This was just one of the things she got up to, emptying her drink onto her dinner and inciting knock and run games despite being told to stop. She was most definitely a little fucker.

It's quite clear that you dislike her intensely. She has most likely picked up on that and is playing up.

I didn't dislike her...fucking hate her now though 😀

Poor child

I didn't dislike her...fucking hate her now though

Now you sound as if you have the same emotional age as this child. She is a child fgs. Perhaps one day someone will be unkind enough to act and feel the same way about one of your children and this could be for some reason or none at all. I'm sure you won't appreciate the sentiment. Do the child a favour and stay away from her and her mother.

Yes poor child, has such useless parents that she rocks up at someone else's house and is a little shit about 6 years after it stopped being cute

Her and he mother NEED staying away from. Nightmare!

Strongly Encourage Other Friendships, OP

Several of the things scream ASD to me.

Of course it may just be that she has poor manners generally due to lack of boundaries. Or it may just be a one off incident of bad behaviour for other reasons.

Whatever it is I think it is absolutely essential you get over the feeling of embarrassment re telling the mum/dad exactly what happened.

All three of the reasons really require you say something to the parents so they can deal with it.

Walking into a bedroom when an adult is dressing is quite a risk to her. Picking up a newborn is quite a risk to the newborn. She has said a number of innapropriatr things which will affect her social life.

I feel like moaning on the internet is a bit crap unless it spurs you on to do the right thing and let the parents know, as school would if it had happened there. I also think you can't really complain about a child being rude about food and then call the child sweaty names on the internet. That's v hypocritical.

I understand that it is difficult, I recently had to tell my friend I was concerned about her little boy (5) as he had pestered me to take him to the toilet for a poo and wipe his bum for him while she was in the garden and when I hadn't seen him since he was a baby and that I felt this kind of thing could put him at risk (highly likely he is on the spectrum).

As a parent of a DD who is about to be diagnosed with ASD (all reports in and showing severe deficits) and whose school covered up everything that went on until she stopped going this academic year, I will say it is absolutely VITAL that other people who see behaviours when they have care NEED to tell the parents so that they can deal with it. Otherwise you get to 10 like my DD with huge anxiety, agoraphobia, no friends, no education and a shit tonne of maladaptive coping mechanisms that are really hard to shift.

Not saying she has ASD by a long shot, but behaviour like this should be reported to the parents by everyone who sees it so the parents get the full picture and are informed at the very least. It is the kindest thing you can do for the family.

So rude! I wouldn't of dared behave like that at that age! Just don't let her come round again, I can't believe she was trying to pick up the baby, seems like the mother can't control her child or doesn't care!

I would (and did re my friend) frame it as 'I'm a bit worried about x as this just happened' followed up by 'believe me I am not judging my DD .... and I know all the blame usually goes to the mother and the parenting right away ....'

My above comment was clearly a joke! Anyway yes I do think there is something there I just don't understand how no one has picked up on it yet...

Suck it up today, have a glass of wine when the day is over, and NEVER invite her back.

Y(MVD)ANBU!

I wouldn't bother complaining as the parents must know what a monster they have created.

And also as a side note to everyone else - withdrawing into 'little shit' 'don't invite her round' is a bit shitty if it is the only thing you do.

Community is not just about having other children around to play and banning them if they behave badly, it's also about letting the parents know what has happened. Because if you don't and it is a parenting problem, how are the parents meant to do something about it? If it is a neuro thing that needs investigation NOT saying anything means you are contributing to the child's developmental delay by not giving the parents information they need.

Parents need to try their best to parent to the best of their ability but equally the community the child inhabits needs to actually give feedback to the parents to help them parent effectively. Just sitting at a keyboard slagging off the child and not telling the child clearly it is wrong and implementing a consequence, then not even telling the parents because it is hard is the exact same failure in community responsibility as not implementing discipline and boundaries at home because it is difficult.

I like contrary's post btw too. I have three NT children who are totally polite and lovely and then DD who is incredible but in a different way and in difficulty ATM - the parents I respect the most are he ones who have told me about her inappropriate and worrying behaviour and implemented clear boundaries as that is supportive of me.

Yellow bird do you have a misunderstood child too?

Even if the child is a fussy eater when her mother said she wasn't her behaviour is just plain rude. Either the mothers being ignorant to her child's diet preferences or ignorant to the fact she doesn't seem to have taught her any manners. The flaky and somewhat aloof response from the mother suggests the brat acts like this at home and has a blasé my kid can do no wrong attitude.When I was a kid I was the fussiest eater to the point my parents had me at the doctors. Though I wasn't malnourished I had to take extra vitamins to supplement what I lacked. Sometimes my dad would leave me a sandwich by my bedside when he went to work at 6am in case I woke up sick with hunger. I mention this because if I was ever invited to dinner with friends my parents were always honest with others to tell them about the problem and would reject the invite if need be. That way the parents were informed and it was up to them if they minded, sometimes even the more patient ones would put new things on the side to try but not as my main meal and it worked sometimes. Sorry I'm a bit wordy here but I am getting to the point. No matter what tantrums I threw at home and battles I fought over food, I always knew that it was not appropriate behaviour when a guest in someones house even without a meal in the equation. No one sat me down and said do not react like that in other peoples houses etc because manners were something I had learned to suit all situations by being taught respect from a young age. At 9 years old this little brat should be showing a little more self control from learned experience had it been instilled.
Saying that, to blame the parent could perhaps make it all seem a bit black and white and the child may have been showing off because she had an audience. But then again could just be a product of her mother who, judging by her response to you, seems not to care for her child's ability to assert herself in a socially acceptable manner.
Next time she wants to come over or wants a playdate replace the mince with pedigree chum!

Don't invite her around again unless it's clear that behaviour just isn't welcome in your house

I've never understood this mentality on MN. 9 is old enough to choose your own friends. This girl may need to work on her behaviour but you can't stop her being friends with your dd OP. What will you do if your dd wants to invite her round again? You're approaching the teen years when you'll have to put up with your dd's friends even if you don't approve of them. Much better to have them round at yours so you can at least see what's going on.

Oh, and calling a CHILD a brat, little shit etc is just horrible. And that's from adults!

It clearly wasn't a joke to me after the nastiness that you and other "adults" have spouted about this girl, who is prepubescent and still way off adulthood. None of this situation is a laughing matter from her behaviour and treatment of your children to what you and others are saying about her on the internet.

She kept insisting she wanted my husband. When I told her that she should come out, her flies were open on her extraordinarily tight jeans. She gave me a sly look and said she wanted my husband to help her do her zip up. I did it for her. She finally kicked our dog, hard, in the ribs when he walked past her. I marched her straight home.

I can't even believe an adult wrote this.
You are basically implying that a 9 year old child was trying to seduce your husband with her " extraordinarily tight jeans"..
That's fucking sickening to be frank.
I hope someone in her life picked up on the obvious signal that something was very wrong. Poor kid.

Checks thread to see if it's about dd.
Moves on in relief.

lol @ Chamonix

I don't Rabbit no. Do you always base your views on assumptions, ignorance and stereotypes?

If what Ifnot has quoted is true, this sounds as if she's being groomed and molested. So what the fuck are you doing bitching about her on here? And why haven't you said something irl?

Sorry, the quote wasn't about the OPs situation, it was someone else on the thread-should have said that.

Some of the attitudes I've seen on this thread about a child make me shudder.