To never invite this annoying little brat round again

[LolaTheDarkdestroyer]

Dds friend (9) is round for dinner... know she is a fussy fucker but her mum did tell me she eats anything. Cue today Shepard pie , after picking all the peas out of the damn thing she proceeds to sit at the table making super loud ewww, and yuck noises, while moaning she doesn't like it. There are 5 other kids sat round the table ffs.

She had also completely ignored anything my dd has wanted to do and just buggered off with the other kids, keeps just picking my newborn up without asking, moaning to play on my iPad and get the rabbits out when it's pissing down. I could go on I actually had to leave the room while dinner was happening!
Never known anything like it!

YANBU!! Sounds like she gets away with murder at home. Picking up the new born when you've said not to is an absolute no-no .
Glad to read the mum is apologetic . Put it down to experience and avoid having her over again until her manners vastly improve .

Just don't invite her again. Simple.

I always find unexpected spinach a pleasant surprise.

Are people serious when they say they would kick a child?

The mum only knows about her being rude about dinner..she said the oh I know she is very out spoken..no shit.
She has to know her daughter has issues.

Presumably you tell the host mum that when your dd goes on play dates, Hodd? Instead of telling her that she likes shepherds pie, as op was told?
Why do people keep reiterating my child wouldn't have eaten that, as if it's relevant

We have one of these children in our extended family. I feel sorry for her, as it's not her fault that her parents haven't taught her any boundaries. But... her behaviour makes her a very difficult child to like.

I could have written your post OP after said child stayed with us for 2 days during the Easter holidays. The dynamics of an 8-year-old girl who doesn't understand that no-means-no, and that the adults are in charge actually, made for a miserable few days. Unfortunately for her, her doting parents and grandparents think that she's so funny yeah well, funnily enough she wont be getting a repeat invitation.

oh I know she is very out spoken..no shit.

Oh no. Run away. Parents who say 'outspoken' usually seem to think it's an adorable quirk rather than infuriatingly rude.

By their teens their child will "just prefer to tell it like it is", another phrase to justify being rude.

Agree that the shepherds pie doesn't matter. Dh's friend and his new girlfriend came to dinner. Girlfriend 40 years old. I was texted a list of "approved" dinners for the gf which read like the menu from The Harvester, but I duly prepared tomato soup (from scratch - roasting the tomatoes) and shepherds pie. She looked at it with distaste and said it wasn't how she liked it. I said I'd never have that woman in my house again and luckily dh's friend dumped her shortly afterwards.

Anyway, anyone can dislike a meal, particularly a child, but to behave in that way - "yucking" etc - is intolerable.

And as for the other behaviour... No repeat visits for her!

My DD had a 'friend'/bully like that at that age. She used to run around the house screaming, saying to the younger ones 'go and tell your Mum we want x,y,z', was 'outspoken' and bloody rude about food. The final straw was when she spat a mouthful of sweetcorn out on her plate screaming 'ewww disgusting'.

I was very pleased when that friendship ended, she's nearly 18 now, dresses & behaves like she's 25. Can't abide her.

clarkl2: they say it because it is often true whereas what you say is often mean and wrong.

All you people saying ‘by her age...by that age’ – you should know by your age that children develop at different rates and some children have really massive delays in some areas. It’s like being angry with a dyslexic child who is still struggling with reading at age 9, and saying ‘the stupid little fucker should know how to spell that by her age." I don’t let my Aspergers son go to playdates without me yet as I know he can’t yet independently manage and behave well enough. I go with him on visits to other people’s house so I can help him do and say the right things and eventually he’ll learn and be able to do it by himself. He was diagnosed at age 4 though as his Aspergers was obvious. I feel sorry for all the mums when the child’s neurological issues are really mild – it means they often don’t know what’s going on and why their child behaves differently and what they should be doing about it.

By the way, if she couldn't be stopped from picking up the new born baby she obviously need to go home and not be invited back (unless she came with unless adult who could manage her next time).

Worst kid I ever had round (age 11) took 11 of the 12 yorkshire puddings in serving dish on a table with 6 people eating! Greedy little shit.😁

If I was this child's mum I would want to know what had happened. I think its OK to say sorry, I don't like it about food and I would be happy to make cheese on toast or something. But the rudeness, and ignoring the boundaries you set are totally not on. Even if the child does have SN, she needs firmer guidance on appropriate and safe behaviour.

She is nine, and unless she has some special needs hers is not really a friendship you want to encourage, so I wouldn't have her back. You have explained to her mum why you didn't like her behaviour and so if you don't invite her she will know why. And there is nothing wrong with making her shepherds pie, plenty of people like it and you checked. It is partly a question of whether you want her in your house and partly a question of whether you want your daughter to be her friend. I once had a child at ours when my dd was six and she told me she was bored the whole time, I spent the whole time like a performing monkey until I had that moment of realisation. My daughter went to her house once and they spent the whole time on the computer unsupervised. I never invited her again, that was not a friendship I wanted for her.

Sounds awful OP. You have my sympathies, I hate it when visiting children play up to the extent where you have to tell them off, it makes me really uncomfortable. I would tell the mum how she had behaved.

I remember behaving really badly at a friends house at 9, her mum told my mum who was furious and made me write a sorry letter and take it round. I'm lovely now

Nightmare! My pet hate is when guests come round and play one of my dcs against another of my dcs. Also had one once who rudely refused all offers from my dc of things to play with and presents of toys from his drawer, so I encouraged my dc to come downstairs and join one of their siblings in the kitchen in their an activity. Said guest sat stroppily on the stairs for sometime 'with nothing to do', I encouraged then to go find something wherever they chose! Another denied repeatedly slamming doors after being asked a number times to stop (along with other children as they were probably all doing it), others admitted it, said child lied. I then said what penalty would be if it continued for all, said child said I don't care about that, so I chose another penalty and that shut the child up!! Grrr

I hate telling guests off too, I always worry the child will then make me out to be a wicked witch of a mum! Gotta be done though unfortunately

I honestly wish I had said something to her at the time..I was in shock though TBH! Obviously I had to tell her to leave the baby and a few other less minor things. As soon as I picked the kids up she grabbed p to the double buggy asking to push it! I had to tell her no about 5 times before she shut up.

And also to mention she is 9 but the height of a 5 year old so not really intimidating to my dd.

Did you offer to make her something else to eat? She shouldnr of been rude but if she doesnt like it then you cant/shouldnt force her to eat it. Have you given the kids anything to do because she sounds bored

Aww OP, don't beat yourself up. You did what you felt was right. It sounds like it was really frustrating!

Actually dying of shame remembering eating tea at a friend's house right now. I used to get the giggles badly at that age and couldn't keep it under control at all. I was so used to my mum's huge portions and her gravy was always dark brown (beef gravy). The portions at friend's house were tiny compared to what i was used to and i was waiting for her mum to bring more food out. Also I'd never seen chicken gravy before and as it was so thin i thought it was vinegar or something.

All these things would've been fine if i had just had an internal monologue and got on with eating it but no, i got the fucking giggles. I'm cringing now it was so fucking rude! I never said why but it was obviously about the food!

Oh Simiisme, didn't it raise alarm bells with you when a nine year old female child wanted you to call your husband to zip up her jeans?

Most kids are more polite at other peoples homes. Beware the ones that arent.

She sounds an unpleasant show off. No need to be mean about her just don't invite her again. I don't get the dilemma here, this would be an obvious "well she's not coming again" to me.