To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

[mynotsohumbleopinion]

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

I lost a friend a couple of years ago because I wouldn't spend £500 on her ibiza hen do.
I'm glad I did because it ended up costing nearer 2k for those that went as more and more 'activities' kept getting added in. Plus their were the 'dress codes'. It was that that made me send a 'sorry, I just can't spend that amount of money. That would pay for more than one family holiday for us all, hope you all have fun though!' email.
She didn't forgive me!
I also didn't go to her wedding in Italy as I was 39 weeks pregnant.
That was the final straw. I mean, travelling whilst pregnant and/or with a newborn is easy. Plus I could have got medical insurance and there was a hospital within 30 minutes. If I couldn't fly I could have got a train or driven.

My hen do was a night in an out of season butlins static caravan £30 for the night plus booze and fish and chips. We all just got sloshed and had a laugh.
Brilliant.

I have just had a look at the drink packages at the Ocean Beach Club. Cheapest starts at €1450 for not very much. I would bow out now op.

Doesn't matter how much notice they give-it's your money to spend/save as you wish on what you wish.

Just say no!

I went to Marbella once and he minimum spend was about £4K for the day

BLOODY HELL!!!!!

What part of what you have already spent is refundable? Transferable? I would look into pulling out tbh. It sounds, from what the Ibiza vets have said, that you will be sinking over a grand into this thing! Ridiculous!

I'm in Ibiza this weekend OP! We have a spare bedroom in our air b&b right in town , feel free to come and stay

And if you're going to Ocean Beach on the Friday it's going to cost a fortune, sorry

I think the worst thing is when it is compulsory - the Spanish "we are giving you time to save" is a dreadful example of this. Maybe people are saving for something else, or need to put that money aside to pay off debt, or don't have that money to pay in the first place. 3 of my BMs didn't come on my hen because they couldn't make it - there was no drama at all. It should be voluntary to attend.

I'm not impressed though by all these "we only went to KFC for mine" posts - getting married is a special once in a lifetime (in theory!) event for someone and if I am close enough to someone that I am invited on their hen do, I have no qualms spending a night or two and a moderate amount of money to give them a special hen. If I can't make it, I say no but generally a U.K. based hen I am happy to go to.

This Ibiza hen is different as it is so blatantly extravagant, and worse, people have been misled about it. I don't see that it means people who book 2 nights in a cottage in the cotswolds or something for theirs are dreadful people.

It's ridiculous. If I had a spare grand I would pay off some debt, which I only have because I don't have enough money at the moment for all of the basics which my family need, let alone a 4 day piss up in a foreign country.

And it's not cheaper because of "pre opening"

Circoloco opens this weekend so does Ants and Music On. Ibiza is really expensive

My sister's hen do was like that - not quite as expensive, but lots of costs that would just pop up. Her friend, the organiser, apparently has a problem with compulsive shopping.....

Pull out. 2 weeks in Ibiza cost me £2k and I don't really drink and was all inc. 1 night, in a club with not very famous DJ only drinking 2 bottles of water cost £120, no food, drinking in bars before or transport included in that. I would be surprised if you didn't spend another £700 especially as you'll be paying for the bride!

I don't have this to spend on my own (non existent) hen night, let alone someone else's!

It's about priorities, imo. Some people will prioritise a weekend away drinking, I will prioritise DD and doing things with her, family etc. It's not even about can you afford it, it's about it being a ridiculous amount of money that could be better spent.

I have just looked at the Oceana Club packages... omg. You could do two weeks In Vegas with spending money for two people the price of ONE DAY!

The only time it gets a bit shit is if they have come to your hen do and the cost has been equivalent, that's the only time I think it's not really acceptable to drop out.

Op, you win for most batshit hen do! In my opinion, the amount of money spent on a hen party seems to have little to do with how much fun is actually experienced. It's like competitive madness.

One of my DDs got married recently. Her hen do was a visit to a cat cafe followed by a pub crawl. They stopped off for chips on the way home. During the wedding speech we heard that DD sang the whole of 'I'm getting married in the morning' in the chip shop

That's a ridiculous cost for a hen party, pretty selfish of them to not check beforehand that everyone is okay with spending that kind of money.

For my hen party I just want to go somewhere cheap and sunny like Benidorm (tacky but I think it'll be fun!)

I remember paying €15 for a tiny bottle of water in Ibiza. Jeez it's expensive there

I'm feeling really worried for you. I would honestly kiss bye bye to the portion of money on the villa and use the flight for something else. The saving grace is that if you have booked with BA then they will let you transfer reasonably easily.

You will spend around £150/200 a day I would think in Ibiza and as much as you say you won't do that bit or this I think you will!

Shame your MOH is so out of touch. If you are close to the bride it might be time to have a word otherwise a carefully worded email would be in order to the MOH.

Due to a change in circumstances and having done some research into the costs of places in IBiza I'm going to cancel my place. Please give me the villa booking details so I can see if my costs there are refundable.
I'll let the bride know.
Have an incredible time! Can't wait to see all the pictures xx

One of my DDs got married recently. Her hen do was a visit to a cat cafe followed by a pub crawl. They stopped off for chips on the way home

That sounds brilliant Sparkiling.

TBH - I don't know why people want to get ratted over an entire weekend. One night on the lash is enough - you feel so blooming' awful the next day.

And now I want chips.

New thread - AIBU to want chips for "second breakfast" when I still have heartburn for a bacon sammich?

*from, not for

You could take some "relaxing pills" on the flight and wash it down with a large straight whiskey - that might sort out the rest of the hen do

OK OP, you do win bonkers hen do award of early 2017.

Instead of the beach club spend the day in your gorgeous villa - you can get a massive delicious paella delivered!

Bollocks to that.

I didn't want a hen do at all but got dragged out for a nice dinner by a few friends. I really hate the assumptions that just because one of the partycan afford everyone can. We could afford our wedding but made sure we put zero pressure on people to attend (they needed to fly to get there as we are not in the uk any more.) we subbed a couple of people we knew couldn't afford it and paid for flights and accommodation (this is in Europe, no long haul, but still not exactly a trip down the M1.)

It's a wedding - my view is that if you're asking people to attend it needs to be pleasant and not a financial/emotional/time drain on them! We didn't need presents we jus wanted people to share our day, without being stressed over attending

Back out.

Years ago, it was a pub crawl or a knees up at a local restaurant - don't understand why people spend so much and expect everyone else to when they can have a great time with friends for a minimal amount of money ... don't get me started on the weddings