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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

344 replies

mynotsohumbleopinion · 16/05/2017 07:09

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

OP posts:
buzzmoon · 19/05/2017 22:29

Insane costs! The worst thing is you wont be able to enjoy it because all you'll be thinking about is the cost! I hope not but I certainly would!

Ive literally got back from my 'hen' this morning, to be honest it was purely an excuse for a few days away in the sun with 3 friends. I got a deal for 5 nights all incl at a beautiful Spanish island for £199. And we had a ball!

Hope you have a good time OP, cannot wait for updates, I have a feeling MOH will have something else up her sleeve!

MrsHathaway · 19/05/2017 22:35

"All-inclusive" is an excellent way to have a group holiday, so there are no hidden costs and you don't have to count your pennies to get a measly half-glass of pop on your last day.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/05/2017 07:09

For 700£ you could have had a nice week away in a five star hotel!

smallandbrave · 20/05/2017 10:53

I can't think of anything worse than an all inclusive as I don't really drink, subsidising everyone else no thanks.

Looking forward to hearing OP's return report!

witchofzog · 20/05/2017 10:59

I sure with all inclusive being the way to go for this type of thing. Even if you don't drink, you would still be expected to contribute to a rip off "bed" at the beach club and rounds would usually be expected so you would still end up subsidising the drinkers to some extent. At least with all inclusive you can drink as many soft drinks as you want and won't risk running out of money for essentials because everything is just so damn expensive and you are also being expected to subsidise the bride too Confused

MrsHathaway · 20/05/2017 12:49

I can't think of anything worse than an all inclusive as I don't really drink, subsidising everyone else no thanks.

It's better than paying a tenner for a diet coke and £100 for three inches of a grubby pool bed.

Get your money's worth in cake and ice cream.

LorLorr2 · 20/05/2017 12:55

Wont lie, if that were me I'd be doing anything to get out of it Grin

MargaretCavendish · 20/05/2017 18:11

Ive literally got back from my 'hen' this morning, to be honest it was purely an excuse for a few days away in the sun with 3 friends. I got a deal for 5 nights all incl at a beautiful Spanish island for £199. And we had a ball!

To be fair you would have got a cheaper deal because you went Sun-Fri. That might be no problem at all for your friends - maybe everyone has the sort of shift work where 'weekends' don't mean that much - but it is for lots of people. When I organised a hen do it became quite clear quite quickly that not needing any time off work was the most significant factor for most people.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 21/05/2017 15:17

" I think the question about top ten nights out was meant about other people's hen dos? I guess most people would think their own was great."

Nope. My own hen do was shit. Organised by my bridesmaids, I was made to feel I was a guest on their weekend away. It was horrible and we didn't last past my wedding.

2 brilliant hen dos I have been on have been my friends, one weekend away (UK) and one a local night out. Both significantly better than my own.

glitterglitters · 21/05/2017 15:31

My hen do was brilliant but then I organised because my moh was just 18 and didn't have a clue what she was doing.

I booked super cheap rooms in Bristol which ended up being an utterly gorgeous Georgian building in Clifton.

We sat in the garden drinking wine. We then did a few quiz/silly hen do nonsense whilst we got ready (got all the willie nonsense out the way the ). Onto a Greek restaurant for oodles of Cypriot meze as a nod to my departed dm's favourite place (and my fave food). Onto a super cheesy nightclub and cheap drinks. Had a right old laugh and ended up costing about £100 each total?

OhWotIsItThisTime · 21/05/2017 21:00

Go on, op, how was it?

Familyof3or4 · 21/05/2017 23:05

I want to go to sleep but was hoping for an update first.....come on OP

MadamePomfrey · 21/05/2017 23:30

op is probably busy trying to figure out which organ to sell to get out of the weekends debt! Wink

PickettBowtruckles · 21/05/2017 23:39

The hen do competition just seems to have gone mad!

Mine was under £100pp, included accommodation for a night, an activity and entry to 3 clubs in a busy city centre. We had a fab time and there was almost 30 of us, including friends that absolutely couldn't have come had I asked for them to spend £££!

annandale · 22/05/2017 00:22

My hen do was one of our best weekends ever - joint with another bride, cottage near the Dark Peak, joint cooking and drinking games, lots of walking. Shame both the marriages tanked but I should have realised that the hen do was infinitely more fun than 2 days with my fiance.

Can't help but feel a twinge in my back looking at those awful club 'beds'.

TooSleepyToCare · 22/05/2017 01:09

How did you get on, OP? Hope you had fun.

artycakemaker · 22/05/2017 11:17

I am also looking forward to hearing how it went.I hope you had a much better time than you feared. Thanks

mynotsohumbleopinion · 22/05/2017 12:35

UPDATE

I couldn't leave you all without an update.

It was exactly as expected. Super pricey and actually just bit meh at times.

Night before we went, MOH and another girl fell out big time over cost and plans. I ended up in the middle smoothing it over at 111.45pm the night before. Not that anyone was particularly grateful... [more on this below]

7 of us. Everyone was on one of two planes (3 on one, 4 on another) to get there so we could share transfers. MOH booked these in advance. No-one had actually bought booze in duty free as (i) everyone expected a cheap shop when we got there and (ii) it was a bit of a stupid idea anyway. However, transfer taxis refused to stop at a shop or cash point for anything because they were "on a schedule" and our plane was already 20 minutes delayed. Luckily I had taken a big box of crap Sainsbo's wine in my hand luggage which I am pleased to report was a great idea because there wasnt a shop for miles near the villa and so for the first night all we ended up with at a hen do was this and a couple of bottles of vodka bought by the MOH. Not even a sniff of anything bubbly. People had to buy booze on the way back from the beach club the next day which took a bit of faffing to do...

More importantly, MOH had booked an entire mini bus for each transfer. 4 of us, on a whole massive mini bus with over 20 seats. It was EUR 70 for a 20 min journey. Everyone just looked baffled but paid.

Villa was lovely but a bit unnecessary... it sleeps something like 15 people but there were 7 of us! That aside, it was a lovely place with hi tech speakers, a massive kitchen, big pool, sun loungers etc etc. Lovely but v expensive.

Beach club was as expected - pricey! EUR 20 to sit on a public use bed was a bizarre addition! Then the drinks were insane of course. We cut the cost a bit by ordering jugs of sangria and sharing the cost but it was something like EUR 48 for a litre jug. Lunch was even worse - EUR 24 for a burger and 38 EUR for a standard bottle of wine... I didn't drink much there at all. I took a bottle of water and kept costs down. What was bizarre was how quiet the place was. I heard that the other beach clubs had music and were fun etc, but the one MOH picked was very chilled and, honestly, a bit boring so I resented the cost...

Clubs. Where do I even start. EUR 40 entry to Ushiaia wasn't actually too bad as the place was open from 3pm til 12am. However, we didn't actually go til 9... having said that, I am eternally grateful for this tardiness. It was by far the most boring experience of my life so far. The atmosphere is pretty exciting when you go in as its the massive open air club, but when someone charges you SEVENTEEN EUROS for a vodka and coke and NINE EUROS for a bottle of water, so you end up stone cold sober pretty quickly, the repetitive beats and mostly-swaying on the spot gets boring very quickly. It was full of middle class people apparently trying to be a bit cooler than they were and it was just dull as dishwater. The same beats over and over, interspersed at regular intervals with pointless 2 second puffs of fake smoke or fire which I can only assume were designed to try to peak people's waning interests just didn't do anything for me. I bought one drink and was clock watching for about 2 hours.

You will all be pleased to know that I refused to then go to Pacha at 2am. One other person agreed with me and stayed at the villa with me as neither of us wanted to pay 50 euros for another boring experience. I'm so glad I did this because everyone else only stayed for an hour and a half anyway so it seems like a massive waste of time and money and I understand basic drinks were about 10-15 euros each.

No taxis included at all in the price we paid. nothing at all within walking distance. MOH had booked the massive mini busses everywhere so it cost a fortune. We did try to suggest that we should get normal taxis but she couldn't cancel at short notice without incurring fees.

We did have a couple of fairly cheap tapas dinners in the old town which were really fun and had amazing food, so it wasn't all bad, but overall I spent £350 and i only managed that by being careful and refusing things/drinks. I think the bride enjoyed it which is I guess what matters, but it cost me over £1000 all in...

I said above there would be more on the bitching of the night before and the ungratefulness... in a nutshell, i spent the night before trying to make a massive row go away and all i got was the girl involved (not the MOH) being a total passive-aggressive bitch to me for the entire weekend. Even the bride noticed but of course didn't say anything to her - just apologised to me. So that was even more of a waste of my time. FFS. I hate big groups of women and the bitching. This is why most of my friends are men.

Anyway - i hope this didn't disappoint!!

OP posts:
buzzmoon · 22/05/2017 12:41

Just 😱😂🙈

rightwhine · 22/05/2017 12:44

As expected then. At least it sounds as if you had a fairly good time for your £1000. It could have been worse - Cost £1000 and you hated every minute?

Why was the friend upset at you. I presume you were on her side really, against the MOH?

expatinscotland · 22/05/2017 12:46

This is a very expensive lesson to learn . . . to say NO to any further of these invitations. It's nothing to do with women, just these particular women. These group away hen-do's always wind up costing a fuckload. FAR easier to just decline. 'Sorry, I can't make it. Have a prior commitment' (with Netflix and my sofa).

Over £1000!?! For a long-ish weekend. That's mind-blowing.

apostropheuse · 22/05/2017 12:53

How did you get through security with a big box of cheap sainsbury's wine? Good grief.

ScarletSienna · 22/05/2017 13:02

Yes how did you get wine through security in hand luggage?!

buzzmoon · 22/05/2017 13:04

I'm sure OP mentioned she had hold luggage, must have been a typo

LaLegue · 22/05/2017 13:05

Big groups of women are a nightmare with things like this. I went on a weekend abroad to see a concert with about 8 women last year. We all knew one another but there was some fairly tricky and complicated dynamics going on in the Venn diagram of friendships between us.

From the minute we got to the airport to the minute we got home again the whole three days was fraught with petty arguments, bitchiness and passive aggressive sniping and although I managed to stay out of most of it I saw some real mean girl behaviour and I will never never do it again.

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