To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

[mynotsohumbleopinion]

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

I'd never normally suggest pulling out is something like this at short notice, not least because you'd be kicking around a lot of other people and also because I'd be kicking myself for not having thought of all this before (so basically my fault to suck it up). But I really think you should.

You are going to be indenting yourself for a mediocre, lacklustre (given you can't afford to go whole hog) weekend away using precious annual leave. You haven't even got to the wedding yet. It's every shade of wrong.

Also, if you think you can just not do - or rather pay for - some of the group activities, you'll probably end up pissing off everybody. They are counting on your paying your share for the bride and also for yourself: you're part of the do. In a group setting, you can't cherry pick. It's actually worse than staying home.

If it were me, I'd pull out, see if I could save something in the flights but assume I've lost it all, not ask for any money back. I would, for the first time ever, make up an excuse. You are getting into debt to feed someone else's ego. It's batshit.

I can just see this bride and MOH cutting your wedding invite because you didn't spunk more money on them. They sound a pair of twats. Please get yourself some new friends.

Do you like the rest of the people going OP? It would be really difficult to back out now I agree, in a way I think you may have to chalk it down to experience and just try and enjoy yourself whilst looking for ways not to spend too much.

If you really don't care too much for any of them then that is a different story although you say you are really fond of the bride? Tricky but Ibiza is great fun and I am sure you will have a good time if it is your sort of thing!

If you want to try and make the best out of a bad situation fair enough op but don't assume this will save you from fall out they are spoilt dicks who are just to things 100% their way!! So every time you choose a non alcoholic drink or don't want to chip in for the bride or some other completely practical choice there will be eye rolling and comenrs and at some point knowing drunk people a full on fight about why you can't just support and be happy for the bride so be prepared also dread to think what MOH hen do will be I hold you haven't signed up for that too

pport and be happy for the bride so be prepared smile also dread to think what MOH hen do will be I hold you haven't signed up for that too shock oh bloody hell OP! Do you know about that one yet?

To be honest, I would be tempted to miss the beach club day altogether - just hang around at the villa with a good book. Explain that you can't afford the expensive bits but spend your money enjoying the local bits instead

That is absolutely fucking insane. So selfish to expect your friends to spend £1000s an NOT EVEN YOUR ACTUAL WEDDING!

Just say no - would you rather spend £700 or £2000?

Man, stuff like this is why I want a tacky night out in Brighton or something.

I'm absolutely stunned. Who in their right minds would ask this of their friends? Craziness. I've moved around a fair bit so I'm having three hen dos in different parts of the UK - I'm the one doing the travelling, since they will already be paying to travel to the wedding and I don't want them to have to expense of travelling to where I am now for one big hen do as well.

We're renting budget accommodation, we'll drink cheap wine and play Just Dance on the wii (old school ) and I know we'll have a brilliant night full of giggles and fun. And I won't have the guilt of bankrupting my friends!

Having said that . . . would love a wee pre-wedding holiday . . . I hear NYC is lovely this time of year . . .

The prices mentioned for ocean beach drinks packages haven't added on the service charge...

I've been to Ibiza a few times, I've had to cut corners to afford it - taken the bus, eaten at KFC, made my own breakfast, taken duty free and bought alcohol/soft drinks/snacks from the supermarket, been very careful about drinking out. I've never done table/beds at clubs as it was just me and my mate. A jug of sangria usually worked well costs wise for us. It will be taxis, drinks and club entry that will cripple you. If you go, that is where you need to be firm and limit the spend.

This is mental and way OTT. Just completely detached from reality.

Just wanted to chip in and say exh and I spent £3,000 minimum on the wedding of our then best friends,stag, hen and actual wedding costs included. I still shake my head sadly about that. Totally unnecessary of them to 'require' it of us.

Ie, the Costs for attending the wedding

£3k

Holy Zeus, scrape me off the friggen floor!!

Don't travel with bottles of wine - I put one in a bag once when travelling to Norway, home of the uber-expensive booze. It broke in transit. That was not pleasant.

Well believe it or not, the MOH isn't having anyone other than her BMs at her hen because she is getting married abroad and says it shouldn't cost people for both...

I know, the IRONY

And to the people who have asked - I promise to come back and update on Sunday evening!!!

Not financial but my most "delightful" hen do included -

• being asked if childbirth had "ruined" me
• being told they could not do it (have kids) to their body
• being asked what would I do if I wanted to buy a £100 pair of shoes now I only worked part time

It was a joy.

That's appalling wordle I hope you asked them what it's like to be a belligerent cunt!

I loved my hen night, dinner with my sisters and best mate in my local loud raucous Greek restaurant, food was gorgeous, staff were a riot. Sang karaoke badly at the end, staggered home. Was Fab and cost not much, about 3£30 a head, set menu and cheap but nice booze. My big sis doesnt drink and my best mate was pregnant. Everyone still had so much fun!
I have avoided other hen do's even if I was close to the hen, e.g. I am not spending the day learning some ludicrous Grease megamix dance routine which can be filmed then shown on the big screen at the wedding reception....this one had more to do with the wishes of the girl planning the hen, not the bride. She basically wanted to be Rizzo for the day. Twat.

no nightclub after, just a meal and drinks with the women in my family and the women in DPs family. Nowadays it seems more extravagant hen dos are the norm, I hope nobody is judging mine the other way for being crap.

Sounds great to me! Something for everyone - drinking, and food for those who aren't big drinkers and would rather have a meal than a club/pub crawl.
Anyone who's a real friend would just be happy to be out on your hen do with you celebrating, they won't care that it's low key.

but yes I appreciate that I will end up credit carding the weekend away

Don't be so fkn stupid!!! Why would you get yourself into debt for one night out that you'll be paying off for evermore???

An evening out in a local restaurant followed by a few pubs sounds so much more reasonable.

Oh and my DD has booked a week in Majorca in July with her mate, fully inclusive at a hotel for £250 each.

I'm baffled that this is the same costs as just the flights to Ibiza.

Can anyone honestly say that a hen do was in their top 10 nights out/weekends away? Or even their top 50?

My friend's was. But she is the opposite of a Bridezilla.

Cottage with a pool (I learned breaststroke that weekend). "Bring a cake". Self-catered except for one dinner at the pub in the same village. Shared lifts between us. Just a really relaxed weekend away which happened to be a couple of weeks before the wedding. Everyone was childfree at the time and all but one on a professional salary - most were the bride's old university buddies.

From memory I got my return train fare (250 miles) for a tenner because it was booked so far in advance, and the accommodation was maybe £100 but it was paid to the MOH and I think might have included the Big Shop.

And we had SO MUCH LEFTOVER CAKE.

I had one that was. But it was a group of close friends out for the night together.

didn't mention the €2000 minimum spend on the beds

What on earth makes a beach bed worth spending thousands on? Does it give you orgasms every time you sit on it?

I'm aghast at the madness on this thread.