To think I win the batshit hen do game...?

[mynotsohumbleopinion]

Months ago friend asked if I would come on her hen do... cited then as a "cheap weekend in Europe". No problem says I! Well cheap isnt how I'd describe it now!

The hen do is in A well known party island. This weekend. Thurs to Sunday.And the costs have just spiralled.

We were told it was There months and months ago and asked to pay around £450 to the MOH for "accommodation and food etc". It was so far in advance that flights weren't even fully released by easyJet at the time, but she assured us it was pre-opening weekend so they'd be cheap. I've never been so why would I argue this? Flash forward another couple of months to when they are released - turns out that the cheapest return is 90 quid and only then if you go to stanstead at stupid o'clock in the morning, which nobody can really as we all live far from there... the only viable options for pretty much everyone were expensive airlines like ba. £250 later I had flights.

Most people did think that the £450 we paid MOH would be covering most things, so nobody complained really. It was only this week when we were sent the "itinerary" that it became clear how much incorrect assumption we had all made on that front... turns out that the £4500 she's had overall only pays for 3 nights in an airbnb villa not even close to town. I know we all
Should have asked but who on earth would think to?! And actually, I seem to be the only person who thinks this is actually stupid...

The list of costs we will now incur are as follows...:

-- Taxis from airport - 50 euros (we can share this if others are on our plane)
-- Taxis to the main town for each and every activity and meal.
-- All meals out other than breakfast and some snacks for thurs night.
-- Although the villa has a lovely pool, we will apparently be spending Friday at a beach club. Paying for the entry. Where we will have lunch at another cost. Then dinner I suppose. Oh and we are expected to chip in to buy the bride lunch that day at around 10 euro each (100 overall??!)
-- outdoor early evening club at a cost of 40 euro on Saturday and then a later club at a cost of 80 euro after that as it closes early. That's without any drinks or even a table.
-- no booze included at all so she wants us to pick it up duty free. There are no shops near the villa.
-- stupid dress codes for the Saturday which I haven't personally bought anything for but others have had to.
-- she wants us to contribute to a "hen survival box".

I'm broke and I haven't even got there... I'd love to pull out now but flights and accommodation alone mean I'm £700 down!

I win don't I? This is just ridiculous...

Talk to the bride. I'd be mortified to know my MOH was putting my friends in this position.

This is crazy

What the hell happened to a restaurant then some drinks in a pub or club ??

"Can I just confess that I read the first few pages of this thread thinking "MOH" was "Mother of Hen" blush I was imagining some flashy overbearing mother, and only clocked when OP said they were going to be "MOHs to each other" blush"

I thought it was Maid of Honour ?
I get confused with all these acronyms....

Yes, DP was invited to a stag week in Vegas too.

Where will it end? I think soon some men will propose and then just move abroad with their mates.

My ex spent 6 days there last year. It cost him over £3k. I still lol at the stupid bastard thinking he could convince me to come along to subsidise him.

Back out now OP. It will be very costly!!

Just wanted to add two of my friends no longer speak because one of them put the other one out over the cost of her wedding. Friend A decided to get married in the US. She harangued us into going. Some of us ended up spending close to 5/6k for the whole thing. It was utterly unreasonable.

I have to say, I'm with Santas here. You know EasyJet also now runs some hotels. You could transfer the flights for a fee and possibly have enough change to book one of their hotels.

I wouldn't be afraid to offend the MOH or even the bride because no friend expects this.

I'm not as convinced as everyone else is that it'll be possible to change the flights, especially this close to departure. BA seems to sell both flexible and non-flexible tickets, and I think it's quite likely that if OP went for the cheapest options it's non-flexible.

Sockseye it is! I just didn't recognise the acronym so I sort of made one up in my head and got in a right old tangle

I'm with Margaret - it's one of those MN "can't you just..."s that isn't alwas remotely practical / possible.

I thought is was EasyJet.

Just priced up an EasyJet holiday for 4 to Cyprus for a week. It comes in cheaper than your £1000 hen weekend, OP, even with having to fly to Luton from Glasgow.

I think soon some men will propose and then just move abroad with their mates. Too true.

DH's friend tried to convince DH to plan a stag in Vegas. He politely informed him that the stag would be in our city. The friend just wanted a huge party weekend and to cheat on his wife again and it wasn't about DH at all. This is the friend who rushed to the first cab so he could be first to the club. Ahead of DH. Classy.

OP I can see what is going to happen. You don't want to be a party pooper, you don't want to cancel. It's going to get worse when you are actually there. You're going to end up spending a fortune and resenting it. Make sure you've got a way of paying for all this...

I have been to Ibiza many many times and it is one of my favourite places. If you go to big clubs the ticket to get in will be in the region of €50 and the drinks inside are really dear at about €15 for a spirit with mixer (although the measures are huge!). However you can have drinks before you go in villa or in a local bar where prices are normal-we never usually go to a club much before 2am so you don't actually need to buy a lot of drinks inside. And we would only maybe go to a big club twice, maybe 3 times in a week holiday.
I've never been to the beach club but I think it will be equally pricey on the drinks front and because it's a daytime event you won't be able to have drinks before you go. I think this is where costs could go through the roof because I'm sure the food will be overpriced too.

a villa in the middle of nowhere is going to mean a lot of taxi costs unless there's a bus stop nearby. It's also probably dearer than some nice hotels that are more in the centre as we have stayed for a week for £500 in mid season inc flights. we normally get Jet2 or Thomson flights and still avoid the ones at silly times-a lot cheaper than BA usually.

I can thoroughly recommend a restaurant called Kasbah in San Antonio- reasonably priced, great cocktails and a sunset view.

It's a common misconception that everywhere in Ibiza is Mega expensive or, at the other end of the scale, grotty. there is a middle ground of loads of lovely places. Yes it's expensive if you make it that way, and I think it's unreasonable for the costs to spiral the way they have without telling you. And booking expensive beach clubs without getting the consensus of everyone is daft.i think you really need to pin her down on what exactly is getting booked so you know.

What is it with these ridiculously expensive Hen do's, and the absolutely chaos they cause?

Without fail there seems to be

1. A MOH who earns more than any of the other Hen participants, and therefore sets a budget that is totally unreasonable
2. A Bride that thinks everyone is ruining her wedding if they don't spend two weeks in Hawaii with her
3. Hen participants who, for reasons unknown, agree to spend an amount of money on a poorly organised weekend that would pay for a family holiday for two weeks.

My genuine question to the original poster, and I really do want to know this, is why did you accept the £450 so readily without knowing what it covered, and why are still thinking of going on this shambles when it is obviously going to cost you well over £1500?

Men genuinely don't have this issue, or if they do they must be very few and far between.

It must be that women see these Hen do's as competitive and a status symbol , I have no other explanation!

Is anyone else wondering whether this will be in the Fail?

I don't think it is a man/women issue. I have been on lots of hen dos some local some weekends away varying in cost!! In my group the invites go out people decide if they want to go or not let the organiser know and it's done! No drama no guilt just grown ups making plans!

'Men genuinely don't have this issue, or if they do they must be very few and far between.'

Oh, there are have been many a thread on here featuring men who want to spunk a grand or more on a stag do and then the family doesn't get a holiday.

Men definitely go in for expensive and OTT stag dos, however there isn't usually the same emotional pressure to attend or politics around bridesmaids and friendships.

Agree - back out if you can.

Just to confirm, there won't be any 'free' loungers at Ocean Beach. You will end up standing or perched on the edge of the pool. Just a short walk down the front towards San Antonio is a bar called Itaca where they do €5 mojitos on the terrace at the back (£14 inside for some reason). I've seen some reasonably renowned DJs there and it's free entry - maybe you could stay sober when perching at Ocean Beach and go there after. Couldn't you have lunch before OB? You'll all be really bored standing/perching for hours. If you can drag the bride to San Antonio 'strip' it is bloody grotty but can be hilarious - you can bargain with reps to get drink packages. Just ask what you can get for €12 each and you'll get loads! Then join the taxi queues at the front for the clubs. What are the plans for after the hell that is Ushuaia?

All this would be avoided with assertiveness and transparency from both organiser and op.

Organiser - it will be £x amount, also need to factor in taxis beach clubs etc etc

Friend 1 awesome count me in

Friend 2 aww over budget for me but have a fab time let's have a pre wedding drink when you get back you can fill me in.

You are abit at fault op you should have got a clear view of the cost at the time you committed. It's too late to back out now (well you can but it will piss people off). Agreeing then whining is unappealing.

Also there's nothing wrong with a full on hen if it's your thing and your friends are up for it. At another stage of life (single high paid job) I loved these.

Just searched MN for 'Stag Do' threads.

I humbly withdraw my comment that men/stag do's are not as bad as women / hen do's!

Let's face it, Hen and Stag do's are a pain in the arse aren't they?

Op, if you do end up going will you come back on here to update us. I'm desperate to know how much this is going to cost you.
If it is Ocean Club then it's going to be €€€€ . The fault is the MOH as all these costs should have been mentioned up front. But if you do decide to go, I think you've got to go with the knowledge it's going to be at least £500 quid on top. Either go for it and have a great time or pull out. Don't go and then be seen as a party pooper.

Sorry for delayed response. I've been busy at work!

So by way of response to some of the questions...

It's not Ocean Beach. Its somewhere else but i'm worried i'll out myself if I start naming places. It starts with an El C for those in the know. It does have public loungers as I checked the website.

I know what the clubs are. it's ANTS (40 euro entry) and then Pascha which I am informed is 80 euros. I will not be attending Pascha.

Thanks to all the posters who say its not just a case of pulling out now. I cant get my money back from the others and i've booked days off work for this, so I will have to go, but yes I appreciate that I will end up credit carding the weekend away. I'm so annoyed about it and I'm not excited at all which is a shame as I love the bride. But I cant now pull out without upsetting her or pissing everyone else off.

Also, as an added issue, the MOH is getting married later this year too... her wedding is abroad (Europe) and i've already paid for that. if I piss her off to the point I cant go I also lose the money I have forked out for her wedding, around which i have planned my year's main holiday (I'm flying from that place rather than the UK IYSWIM). So I cant rock the boat too much. Sorry to drip feed!

You're all right though. It's batshit and I wish I could get out of this.

On a brighter note I have worked out how to save some money... I have status with the Airline so can check extra bags - I'm going to fill one with a few bottles of cheap Tesco £5 sale wine so I don't have to buy any overpriced "intra-EU "duty free"" and maybe I can persuade people to stay in longer that way!

Sorry, OP, but your friends are dicks. Don't buy bottles of wine, buy boxes so it's cheaper. I can't imagine putting a fucking hen weekend on a credit card, racking up debt for someone else's overblown jolly.