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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Flat is in a shitstate, I want to go back to being SAHM

57 replies

Figglesticks · 15/05/2017 21:34

I work so much it's hard to keep up with it all. The entirety of our crockery is currently lying dirty on the kitchen side or coffee table and we have so much washing covering the sofas that I have no idea what is dirty or clean.
DP works a lot too. We leave very early in the morning at get home very late at night and we're both too tired to do anything other than eat a quick dinner in silence and go to bed when we get home.

I just told DP I should go back to being a SAHM so I can at least keep the place clean and he looked like I'd just told him His pet puppy had died.

Aibu to stay at home and clean instead of working (even though I know I would hate it) or should I throw everything away, demand we live a minimalist/nudist lifestyle so I dont have this problem?

I could clean now but honestly I'd rather shove all the dirty forks up my bum at this time of night having just got in from tidying my workplace (which the weekend staff left in such a state the whole place smelled like farts)

OP posts:
Anon5678943 · 15/05/2017 21:41

If you can financially afford it then go for it. Or maybe a part time job would suit you better, maybe working mornings or something.
It's no life to be constantly worrying about the next chore

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 15/05/2017 21:43

Can you afford a cleaner?

TulipsInAJug · 15/05/2017 21:47

Drop your hours? Look for another job?

I feel your pain - our house is in a state (I assume you have kids too?) and I refuse to spend weekends cleaning. we can't afford a cleaner, so the house suffers. But quitting your job to be a SAHM is rather a drastic step.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 15/05/2017 21:48

Massive declutter.
Dry clothes in tumble dryer and fold and put away as soon as they're dry
hire a cleaner

MatildaTheCat · 15/05/2017 21:58

Ruduce your hours and have a serious look at how you can both streamline daily workload. Being surrounded by dirty clothes and crockery is so depressing.

It's not just up to you.

Violetcharlotte · 15/05/2017 22:00

This sounds a bit dramatic to be honest! How many children do you have? And what hours do you work? I'm a single parent and have two kids, I've worked full time since they were small and I manage to not have washing and dirty dishes everywhere.

stillnotgettingit · 15/05/2017 22:11

Hire a cleaner
Reduce hours
Or both

Squishedstrawberry4 · 15/05/2017 22:12

Reduced hours

SparklyLeprechaun · 15/05/2017 22:14

Why is the house a tip if you spend all day out of the house? Honestly, it's a bit dramatic wanting to quit your job so you can do the washing up. Get a cleaner

PoohBearsHole · 15/05/2017 22:15

Take a couple of days off, clear it out, then get a cleaner which will no doubt still give you a relatively decent income that you wouldn't be getting from SAH.

Or if you are massively unhappy become a SAHM, I've just done it with a bit of "consulting" from home and it has worked for the last six months for us. We've tightened our belt but obviously we still have a small amount of income coming in from my side.

Incidentally, now I'm at home I seem to make more mess trying to declutter and sort out Hmm

YoniFucker · 15/05/2017 22:18

"Oi, DH, which do you want to do? Washing up or laundry?" Sorted.

Firenight · 15/05/2017 22:19

Do your husband and kids pull their weight? That's where to start.

Embarrassedatsoftplay · 15/05/2017 22:22

Why's everyone telling her to reduce hours? Can't DP reduce his hours and pull his weight?

user1493759849 · 15/05/2017 22:27

Ummm is your partner doing anything?

Or is he someone who thinks housework is 'woman's work???'

Quitting your job to be able to do the housework is crazy talk OP!

cestlavielife · 15/05/2017 22:29

Get a cleaner
Get a dishwasher
Send out the laundry

runloganrun101 · 15/05/2017 22:44

Come on. If working parents can do it, so can you.

Get a schedule. Plan chores in advance (who what when) and make sure it gets done.

Get a dishwasher.

Don't procrastinate.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 15/05/2017 22:45

Unless you work 23/7 then it's a huge over reaction. Millions of people work and still manage to cook and clean. There would be barely any working adults if everybody thought like you in that you can't work and clean a house.

Smith1 · 15/05/2017 22:45

Yep a cleaner and someone to do the ironing.
Divide other jobs into manageable things each night then share between the two of you.
Unless you don't want to work?
I'd love to be a,sahm

MrsMcMoo · 15/05/2017 22:46

Er, get a cleaner? An au pair? Send washing out to a company? All these things you can pay for whilst employed. Don't give up your job to do housework!

Goldfishjane · 15/05/2017 22:47

How many hours are you both working and how you divide housework?
I'm a bit confused why dirty laundry would be around, it goes in the basket!!

Girlwiththearabstrap · 15/05/2017 22:47

If you and your family want you to stay at home then fair enough. But YABU to think that you can't work and keep your house clean! Can you declutter a lot (be ruthless!!) And then get a cleaner? And split the maintenance day to day stuff between you and your husband (and kids if they're old enough)

user1493759849 · 15/05/2017 22:48

Agree with unicorn; I worked (3 days a week, 24 hours, for a while, then full time later when they were past 10 y.o.) and I looked after home and family, and did probably two thirds of everything, and I never had any cleaner either.

Would never have crossed my mind to quit work!

Couldn't have afforded to!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 15/05/2017 22:48

runloganrun

WTF are you on about? She WORKS.

Naturebabe · 15/05/2017 22:51

Dont give up on your job just to clean your house... why cant dp do his share / reduce HIS hours?

NeverTwerkNaked · 15/05/2017 22:51

Get a cleaner. Even a couple of hours a week makes a good dent.

Could you work from home 1 day a week? Means you can get a washing machine loaded etc in your lunch break and saves the commute?

Do you have kids? Get them doing more housework? Our 10 year old is actually quite good at helping out and even the smaller ones out their clothes away etc

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