Parents staying with kids at university

[daffodil10]

My daughter is only 14 so it'll be a few years till she starts university. A colleague mentioned to me that it's quite common for parents to stay with their kids at uni for the first week. When I went to uni my parents drove from Scotland to the midlands dropped me off and drove back again. I couldn't afford the train fare so it was xmas before I saw them again. I can't believe parents stay - let them go!

No, we drove the 3 hours (having lunch on the way), deposited offspring and drove 3 hours home (quietly sobbing). I've never heard of a parent staying.

I was at uni for 5 years and in halls for 3 and then shared student housing. In all that time I know of ONE person who's mum came for the first week, and that was because he was American doing his whole degree over here having only been to London once before, and although he's always been a very sensible and mature sort he's also not entirely neurotypical so his mum wanted to just be on hand. She's also a massive anglophile.

As far as I can remember they moved into together as everyone did, she went off to a hotel, and they met up for quick check ins once a day (no mobiles - we all had them but it was early days) then had a final meal and saw her off to the airport.

Haha, just no!

Wow never heard of this especially as a large percentage of students are going out on fresher nights in first week. I went to uni a long time ago but most of my flat mates were drunk most of first week lol. My parents didnt even take time off to drop me off at university

Fairly sure my mum stayed the night but thats because my sister chose the furthest uni she could.

With the eldest they didn't but thats because she was a 40 minute drive if that.

I didn't go but I would of been mortified if they had stayed for longer than a night

Totally not normal and really not a good idea - Fresher's Week is a really important time for them to meet other people in their halls/flats/get to know campus or whatever - the whole thing is set up for socialising so they meet people and integrate!

Can't imagine anything less helpful than a poor fresher spending that week wandering round shepherded by a pair of grinning parents in the background and taken off for dinner with them every night instead of going to the parties. Bloody hell!

No!! Did drop off and came home for all of mine (although I did spend s subsequent weekend sleeping on one Dd's floor when I went to visit her and couldn't afford a hotel (Oxford)). But only two nights then and it was in the holidays.

I'm studying in my second degree. My friends are aged between 20-25. There is one girl whose mother actually stayed with her and has for the past 2 years. I wouldn't have a problem with that but it was when she started interfering in our friendship group as well that I thought this woman was bonkers. I avoid her daughter and her full stop.

She would message telling my friends to contact her daughter, and they couldn't say no to her as she was older. And at one point she even said that she was jealous of me being close to my other friend-as I always stayed over at my friends.

Drop and run def.

Although a 26 year old colleague has just moved halfway across the world and her parents are taking it in turns to live with her for 3 months each time on a tourist visa. I think that's weird.

Definitely not normal.

I don't know any parents who did this, but at my interviews there were so many parents who had come with their DC that there weren't enough chairs in the waiting area for the people actually being interviewed. Some people had both parents there! And more than once the parent tried to go with their child when they were called for their interview. Absolutely bonkers so I don't disbelieve some would try to stay in the accommodation to make sure their PFB settles in well. And I didn't see any of the people who had their parents with them at the interview when we started the course (very small intake) so I can imagine the tutors thought better of offering places to people who can't cope with a few hours without mummy and daddy.

I've literally never heard of anyone doing this. I think your colleague may have been teasing you if he thinks you are gullible enough to think this might be true

In my final year I had an overseas flatmate with mental health issues whose mum came over for, I think 2 weeks. She didn't speak english, so didn't try to parent us, and was very, perhaps overly, considerate of us in the kitchen etc. I had my fiancé staying 1 weekend in 3 so wasn't in a position to whinge about guests even if I had wanted to. Mainly I was glad because I was worried about the flatmate, and having her mum seemed to be a good thing for her.

We just dropped DD1 and left. DD2 is at a uni 350 miles away so we drove down and stayed overnight in the uni town then took her to her halls the next day. As soon as we had dropped her we left and began the journey home. They need to be left to it to socialise and start making friends.

I don't think my son would have been too keen on this idea.

Not normal at all surely you know this

Not normal at all. Never heard of it whilst i was at uni.

One of theads down my DDs corridor had parents who did this. They stayed in hotel, and showed up a few days in, to check on his room being tidy, and take him food shopping! Apparently he wasn't even one of the more nervous first years, seemed v comfortable surviving by himself.
I was pretty amazed!

A lesser, by similar thing, is the uni visits, when I went, I either got the train, or my DM dropped me off and collected about 4 hrs later. When DD went, they expect you to come on tour with them - I didn't realise for the first 2, and dropped her and ran - they must have thought she was a neglected child :-D!

The one and only time my mother ever stepped foot on campus was at my graduation. That's normal where I am.

' threads' was 'the lads'

So, so weird.

That said, my parents, uncle and auntie stayed in my halls one weekend so we could all go out on the piss. Some of my uni mates were away so they had their rooms. We went out in Manchester and drank Morgan's spiced rum with the others I lived with until 4am. My dad and his brother cleaned our kitchen for us before they left.

^^not Freshers week!

Errr no.

DD1 is at uni 200 miles away (4 hours drive). She drove her car (I was passenger) and dp drove our camper van loaded up with her stuff and dd2.

We got there, unloaded, helped her to take it all upstairs (I did make up her bed though) and then we all went into town and got her a few basics we had forgotten. Dropped her off and waved goodbye.

She's been home three times but is very happy and settled. She is currently on a football tourney pub crawl weekend in Newquay with 10 other girls. She is loving her life.

Afternoon Play on Radio 4 earlier this week by Amy Rosenthal about her dad staying with her for her first week at Manchester University.

I stayed one night with my dd mid way through the first term. She was suffering badly with homesickness and her uni is 250 miles away.