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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think there can be no justification for not allowing trousers for primary girls

182 replies

Napoliforte · 11/05/2017 23:33

DD never wears skirts or dresses outside of school, she wears jeans and leggings and trousers and shorts. At school she's forced to wear a school skirt, and as of half term, a summer dress. We asked could she wear trousers, or the tracksuit joggers she has for PE, or smart shorts, but all were rejected. They are not seen as "smart" or traditional. AIBU to think this is silly and very sexist?

OP posts:

LoadingDishwasher · 13/05/2017 03:20

I wonder if all the female staff at these schools have to wear skirts or dresses to work?

Confuzzlediddled · 13/05/2017 03:43

Ridiculous policy, how about a skort type thing, would that work?
We didn't have a uniform in my secondary, in primary it was optional. the only rule we had in secondary was that we weren't allowed to wear jeans, so of course we all tried to circumvent the rule by wearing jeans in all sorts of ridiculous colours - one lad even had tartan ones!

hellokittymania · 13/05/2017 04:32

I think you should wear what ever is practical and for the UK, warm when it's cold weather. I didn't grow up here so didn't have to wear a uniform but I am freezing and can't understand why girls have to wear those summer dresses.

lasttimeround · 13/05/2017 07:58

Sexist and impractical but also needs serious rethinking in this age of smartphones. I wore skirts as uniform including games skirts for PE. Short little things. I flashed knickers endlessly. It was an annoyance and there was the misogynistic teasing whispering etc. But it was all confined to school and rumour. I wonder now if someone gets a snap of you what happens. I assume schools ban camera phones but...
The option of smart trews and shorts for sport just seems so sensible

lasttimeround · 13/05/2017 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Naicehamshop · 13/05/2017 08:12

Absolutely ridiculous. Speak to your parent governors asap. May be a good idea to speak to other parents first and see if you can get a group of you together to sign a letter to the governors.

I work in a small primary school and girls have the choice of skirts or trousers. When they are on the field at play time there is a huge amount of knicker flashing from girls not in trousers (cartwheels, handstands, playing on play equipment) - I think if parents realised how active their children are they would all be insisting on trousers!

I'm not in favour of falling out with schools over small things, but this really is an important issue. Stand your ground and be quietly insistent.

CheesyCrust · 13/05/2017 08:15

sashh

So go for the implying he is a pervert route.

Aren't you a hideous person. Really, really horrible. I feel genuinely sorry for any men in your life although I suspect there aren't any.

-------------

Clothes are gendered. Dress codes are gendered (often in favour of women) and I can't bring myself to care about this.

My DC's school has girls' uniforms and dress codes and boys' uniforms and dress codes. The children all look smart, take pride in their appearance and come to school ready to learn and do well.

------------------

I wonder now if someone gets a snap of you what happens. I assume schools ban camera phones but...

Firstly schools don't ban camera phones and the sensible schools allow photography too. Ours doesn't encourage it as at larger events the school photographer comes. Teachers take photos throughout the week for children's individual blogs and for the class blog.

What do you think would happen if someone did get a photo of a girl flashing her cotton briefs on a climbing frame? I'll give you a clue... nothing. Nothing would happen. Nothing.

MargeryFenworthy · 13/05/2017 08:20

Girls are not allowed wear trousers at my DD's school. I have no issues with it. I don't find school trousers look in any way smart on girls at all.

Scottishchick39 · 13/05/2017 08:25

@Lexilooo, I wouldn't let a Scotsman hear you calling a kilt a skirt 😱😱😱

youarenotkiddingme · 13/05/2017 08:25

I'd send her in trousers or shorts and be done with it.

Anytime anything was mentioned I'd put the ball in schools court

"Did she make less progress today because she wore trousers?"

"Was there a detriment to others learning today because DD felt comfortable to do a cartwheel which didn't flash her underwear"

"Did dd miss out on a vital piece or learning due to her legs being covered?"

I totally agree with the above poster (Astro I think) who said sometimes the way forward is a quiet challenge.

Scottishchick39 · 13/05/2017 08:26

😁

to think there can be no justification for not allowing trousers for primary girls

Bananamanfan · 13/05/2017 08:27

Yanbu. I would (& do) ignore & send in the acceptable uniform for boys or at least a skort/culottes.
Dd's school specifies white socks only for girls, which makes me really uncomfortable due to the connotations with innocence. Girls must be able to run around at break time with no more hindrance than the boys.
Dd won't even wear girls shoes, she would be distraught if she was forced to wear a skirt/dress.

slinkyma · 13/05/2017 08:36

It's 2017 and schools are insisting on skirts!

Baffling and impractical...

Name and shame!

KingLooieCatz · 13/05/2017 08:38

There is surely a legal challenge here. My understanding is that it's against the law to treat people differently on the basis of any protected characteristic, such as gender. Public bodies have additional duties to demonstrate that they promote equality. In my bit of public sector world all policies must be subject to a human rights and equalities impact assessment, and service users must be consulted in the process. If I had a daughter at a school under the leadership of one of these crackpot dictators I'd be reading up on that. Impact assessments are a lot of work, easier to change the policy!

slinkyma · 13/05/2017 08:38

I'd send her in trousers or shorts and be done with it.

Anytime anything was mentioned I'd put the ball in schools court

"Did she make less progress today because she wore trousers?"

"Was there a detriment to others learning today because DD felt comfortable to do a cartwheel which didn't flash her underwear"

"Did dd miss out on a vital piece or learning due to her legs being covered?"

Agree and think this is very sensible.

JoeMaplin · 13/05/2017 08:41

Yanbu. Neither of my DDs ever wore a skirt or dress past infants. DD10 wears smart shorts year round (With tights in winter). No justification in having different rules for boys and girls in 2017!

prettygirlincrimsonrose · 13/05/2017 08:46

YANBU Stupid policy. Thought it was bad enough I had to wear a skirt at secondary school in the 90s despite pupils campaigning for trousers at every opportunity, how is this still a thing now?

DeleteOrDecay · 13/05/2017 08:51

Oh come on. Didn't we all wear skits/dresses to school? Why the need to change it. I prefer skirts personally

Yes we did but I hated it. As soon as my primary school introduced trousers as part of the girls uniform in the late 90's, that was all I wore. Just because you prefer skirts doesn't mean every other girl/woman does.

Would you walk down the isle as a woman in a wedding suit? No you wouldn't.

Actually my DMum wore a trouser suit for her wedding. It's less common but not unheard of.

When did it become sexist?

It's always been sexist, only recently has it started to be challenged though. In the same way racism was once acceptable but now it's not and we challenge those who express racist views.

YANBU op, both boys and girls should have the choice to wear either a skirt or trousers.

Thingsgettingstranger · 13/05/2017 08:55

This was a policy in dd's school. On the first day of yr 7 she went in trousers and got excluded. 1 week later there was a protest. The girls all stood outside school wearing trousers and some boys came in skirts. They took away the policy shortly after. YADNBU. It's sexist and skirts are very impractical.

MargeryFenworthy · 13/05/2017 09:15

White socks and innocence? I think you may be overthinking it!

howthelightgetsin · 13/05/2017 09:15

When we wore summer dresses at school we also had to wear white shorts underneath if we were going to be doing cartwheels and headstands in the playground (in case anyone - shock horror - saw our knickers), maybe they should have just let us wear shorts full stop?!
It is horribly sexist. I wasn't allowed to wear trousers but I assumed by the time I was an adult with my own DC things would have moved on.

LozzaChops101 · 13/05/2017 09:18

Send her in in trousers every day and tell the head to go fuck himself.

If it escalates I'm sure you'll have plenty of support.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/05/2017 10:21

If it escalates I'm sure you'll have plenty of support

That depends. People these days are clearly falling over themselves to prove themselves to be the most supportive parent when it comes to schools. Heads could tell them to stand naked on the motorway and they'd do it whilst telling those that don't, how the attitude they are passing onto their children is all that's wrong with the world today.. .

Truth is there is absolutely NO reason whatsoever that girls can't wear trousers.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 13/05/2017 10:28

Yanbu
Does the school have an equality policy?
Speak to pta
Get other parents on board
Write a letter to the local newspaper - it's wonderful what a bit of shaming can achieve.

Albadross · 13/05/2017 10:29

Clothes are gendered. Dress codes are gendered (often in favour of women) and I can't bring myself to care about this.

Can you explain how making girls wear skirts that mean they either have to not play as the boys can or show their underwear is in favour of the girls? And heels in the workplace that damage feet? The vast majority of dress codes favour men.

My DC's school has girls' uniforms and dress codes and boys' uniforms and dress codes. The children all look smart, take pride in their appearance and come to school ready to learn and do well.

Appearance has nothing to do with learning well. Any reinforcement of the idea that someone's worth or ability is based on what they wear is a distraction from learning. Did you never experience boys chasing you and pulling up your skirt?

What do you think would happen if someone did get a photo of a girl flashing her cotton briefs on a climbing frame? I'll give you a clue... nothing. Nothing would happen. Nothing.

That's not what we're talking about though is it. Photos up skirts when a girl isn't climbing is becoming a serious issue in some schools. Not accidentally taking a photo for a valid reason that happens to have a child's pants in it - photos taken on the sly that could then be used as a bullying tactic. It's totally unrealistic to think that all schools are full of lovely smart-looking kids who would never think to try and get a look at girls' pants because they know it's naughty. Kids shouldn't have to be navigating that kind of stuff if they're trying to learn and play.

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