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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think there can be no justification for not allowing trousers for primary girls

182 replies

Napoliforte · 11/05/2017 23:33

DD never wears skirts or dresses outside of school, she wears jeans and leggings and trousers and shorts. At school she's forced to wear a school skirt, and as of half term, a summer dress. We asked could she wear trousers, or the tracksuit joggers she has for PE, or smart shorts, but all were rejected. They are not seen as "smart" or traditional. AIBU to think this is silly and very sexist?

OP posts:
PandaPop55 · 12/05/2017 14:46

Wow. I can't believe this still happens. My DD has a uniform with choice of skirt, dress, shorts, trousers... and she wears whatever she feels like. The girls not wearing trousers thing was fought about when I was in primary school and I honestly thought it was long gone to have a skirt only uniform for girls. It is definitely sexist.

I much prefer to see my DD in trousers for school but I do let her choose. I do think trousers are more practical. I hate seeing girls in the playground doing handstands or cartwheels or hanging from monkey bars with skirts/dresses up round their waists. Even just sitting cross legged in the classroom can be impractical. Trousers protect knees better from grazes and are surely way more suitable in bad/cold weather.

All children should be able to choose what they are most comfortable in

GoatsFeet · 12/05/2017 14:47

my daughter got very cross when I put her in a skirt once in junior school and she complained that she hadn't felt free to play on the 'playdale' because of it
OK, so she doesn't like skirts - the garment in itself, in modern terms, is not sexist.

But is that the other thing that goes on with skirts which is the way that "modesty" is imposed on girls - they feel they can't run around because their pants might show.

The problem is not the skirt or the skirt-wearer, but our society's prurient attitudes towards girl's clothing and bodies.

GoatsFeet · 12/05/2017 14:48

All children should be able to choose what they are most comfortable in

yes! It's really simple, isn't it?

Janeinthemiddle · 12/05/2017 14:50

YANBU but just chill out.

wordlemcfuddle · 12/05/2017 14:51

Ridiculous. Is that even legal!?!?

Just switched my daughter to trousers due to her repeated accidents falling over it's so much better for their knees!

AntigoneJones · 12/05/2017 14:53

" OK, so she doesn't like skirts - the garment in itself, in modern terms, is not sexist. "

well yes it is, if it stops girls from playing freely.

scurryfunge · 12/05/2017 14:53

I can't believe this is still going on. I had this debate with my secondary school in 1979!

PandaPop55 · 12/05/2017 14:54

I would be equally uneasy about a male with their pants on show. I am not sure this is just about modesty being imposed on girls and attitudes to girls bodies. I would not want to see boys at school taking off their tops on a hot day, or walking round with their pants on display.

AntigoneJones · 12/05/2017 15:00

yes Panda, it would make you uneasy, yet girls are supposed to accept that (for example when sitting cross legged) their pants will be on show.
I will never forget the utter humiliation of boys at my school shoving things up girls' skirts. Yet if we had complained, we would have been the ones with a problem.
Read Zadie Smith 'Swingtime' for further details of sexual harassment of girls wearing skirts to school.

GeminiRising · 12/05/2017 15:04

Oh come on. Didn't we all wear skits/dresses to school? Why the need to change it. I prefer skirts personally. No one complained 20 years ago about school uniform.

Actually, when I was in 6th form in 1986 we lobbied the governors to try and allow us to wear trousers, but were refused then too.

So yes, people did complain 20 years ago. And 30 years ago too. There is absolutely no reason why girls can't wear trousers to school if they wish to and they comply with uniform regulations. To force them to wear skirts is outdated and yes, sexist.

SenecaFalls · 12/05/2017 15:08

Very sexist and completely unreasonable. I think you should challenge it, OP. Aren't there anti-discrimination laws that could be brought to bear? (I'm not in the UK.)

noeffingidea · 12/05/2017 15:25

the problem is not the skirt ir the skirt wearer, but our society's purient attitudes towards girls clothing and bodies
or the child's wish for privacy to not have their underwear exposed during physical activity. A wish shared by many boys, incidentally.
It actually goes further than underwear. Many girls in primary school are starting puberty, developing pubic hair, starting periods, etc. It's quite obvious that they might feel less exposed and freer to exercise wearing trousers.

Millerr · 12/05/2017 15:29

Ridiculous, if boys are allowed to trousers then your daughter should be able to as well. My best female friend never wore a dress or skirt for school on the basis she struggled to play football in them!

As a side, straight men who identify as male can, and do, wear skirts and dresses.. cross dressers.

Dawndonnaagain · 12/05/2017 15:29

We lobbied my high school for trousers in winter. I started High School in 1970. We won, by the way.
To call it sexist is beyond daft. It isn't sexist in any way whatsoever, not discriminatory. It's a sensible and logical move. Oh, and as for not liking them, tough. I have a dd who hasn't worn a skirt since primary school, she hates them and hated them then, but that was the uniform so that's what she wore.

Choccywoccyhooha · 12/05/2017 15:33

Our primary school is utterly fantastic, I can't fault it on any point. Except this. Girls have to wear skirts or dresses. The head's answer is "it's my school, and I just like it like this." I only have boys there at the moment, but when my daughter goes I will let her wear trousers if she likes and I will fight it through the governors. I can't believe that no parent in the school has challenged it thus far. It's a ridiculous rule. We protested (and won) this point at secondary back in 1992. 25 years on and this is still happening.

blackteasplease · 12/05/2017 15:35

yanbu. No justification whatsoever. I wish dd's school would realise this.

As it happens I rather like the playsuit!

blackteasplease · 12/05/2017 15:36

And it does constrain them from playing freely.

IJustLostTheGame · 12/05/2017 15:38

It's ridiculous.
I used to wear my PE shorts under my school skirts so I could still do cartwheels etc in the playground.
I would definitely email on the grounds of 'so you and other staff members enjoy seeing little girls flash their knickers' route.

SenecaFalls · 12/05/2017 15:45

A rule that says that girls have to wear skirts is deeply sexist. There is just no way around that. Trousers are a very conventional item of clothing for women and girls and have been for a long time. What is the rationale for requiring girls to wear skirts? There is no way to articulate an answer that is not sexist.

Lexilooo · 12/05/2017 17:22

Straight men who identify as men don't wear skirts? Really?

Tell that to Sean Connery, the DofE, Prince Charles, Ewan McGregor and countless men of Scottish or irish heritage😂

In fact maybe they should complain about cultural appropriation of their traditional dress by middle class school girls 😂

TheMysteriousJackelope · 12/05/2017 23:30

Straight men who identify as men don't wear skirts

I have no idea whether the bearded man in the cargo skirt identified as straight or as a bearded lady. He referred to DD and I as 'muggles' so for all I know he identified as a wizard and the skirt was his wizarding robe. No, I did not ask to see his 'wand'.

ohforfoxsake · 13/05/2017 00:04

My girls have spent their years at primary school hanging upside down/cartwheeling/doing handstands. They like skirts, but wear cycling shorts underneath, or they wear smart shorts.

I wouldn't let this go to be honest. Write to the chair of the governors.

I can't abide these double standards - the rule at our school was for girls who had long hair needed to tie it up. The boys who had long hair didn't (except for PE). Now the rule seems to have disappeared. (i may have gone on and on about it to various teachers...)

It's an important message to send our children - that we will stand up for what is right, and also to stand up for everyone to be treated the same, regardless of gender.

BlackeyedSusan · 13/05/2017 01:19

boys absolutely do not look smart in their uniform. well not when they come home anyway. oh no, they look like the before picture for a washing powder advert. with fecking holes in the trouser knees.

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 13/05/2017 03:14

I campaigned successfully against this in the nineties. Now my DC's schools are skirts or dressses for boys an shorts for boys. It's bloody freezing in winter, especially for boys and bloody impractical for girls. I hate that this sexism exists. And results for girls are much worse in science and maths. I think because it's stupidly old fashioned and sexist attitudes at school.

SuperBeagle · 13/05/2017 03:18

I was at a Catholic school in the 90s and early 2000s which allowed trousers for girls. Only two of the girls in my grade wore them, but it was a non-issue and anyone else could choose to if they wanted to.