To think SAHM should get priority over childminders at busy toddler groups?

[HulkMama]

Just wondering how people feel about childminders taking groups of children to a free toddler group that routinely turns stay at home mums away because they are full?

It's a church run group so they don't want to turn anyone away, I get that, but if there isn't room for everyone should childminders be taking up the places that parents with their own kids need?

Childminders are being paid to look after the kids! I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation!

Comments from childminders welcome. 😉

No you do not have priority. I think you need to adjust your thinking here a little bit.

Firstly, you are in the most privileged position possible in being able to stay at home with your child. I would have given my right arm to have been in a position to do that with my dc. So stop treating it as 'you need a break' and start thinking of it as what an amazing situation you are currently in.

Your dc has all this time with you, his mum, which you cannot put a price on. You hit the nail on the head when you said the childminders children get to 'go home' at the end of the day to their parents. The parents they would have loved to have been with all day instead of with someone else.

Toddler groups are for the children primarily. If its that important to you get there 15 minutes early. Thats hardly a long wait is it? But you certainly don't take priority over the other children.

Actually, baby groups are primarily for parents.

Toddler groups are really not primarily for the children at least not directly.

Firstmrs - that is shit

A site called Mumsnet giving a SAHM a hard time.

Yes, because mothers who also work outside the home - well, you can't call them mothers, really, can you?

Who's giving SAHMs a hard time? People might be giving the OP a hard time, but not because she's a SAHM!

Should have been dog walkers, not owners in my previous post.

I don't think you are being entirely unreasonable, I can totally understand your frustration , but you can't just prioritise parents over cms.

I'm a SAHM and have been to many, many toddler groups. Almost all have been a mixture of cms and parents (though obviously not all SAHMs, some dad's and part time workers too)but the children's centre ones have become separate and one has closed down because of numbers and finances with cms- there was a group of 5 or 6 cm with 3 mindees each who came every week and would only pay £1 each, so essentially £6 for 18 kids and it was just too many.

The lady who runs one of the toddler groups I go to used to be a cm and now looks after her grandson (for free not as as cm)commented that parents are better for helping out, watching the kids and generally pay more per child but cm are much more dependable (mat leave ends, dc go to pre school, better offer of something to do etc stops people coming) and come week in week out, year in year out, so she would hate to have to make the choice. Luckily it's not so busy that she has to.

How do you entertain your child any other time op? On the bus? At home? It's 15. Minutes.
You could also actually talk to people in the queue
The same people you want to talk to inside the group.
I'm really not getting your rationale.

A site called Mumsnet giving a SAHM a hard time.
No, telling the op she's wrong because she's wrong.

Feel better!

Your toddler won't die from a fifteen minute wait!

You don't want to set up your own. So easy to do. I've done it.

Do you think that the toddlers of working parents have less right to be there? Because stopping CM means stopping their mindees!

I cannot believe all the posts saying that because a childminder is paid, they just have to accept it.
No you are not PAID to be a stay at home mum, however you are getting the privilege of staying home with YOUR children. I love looking after my mindees, but they aren't MINE are they.
I wonder what sort of childminder I'd be if I just 'accepted' that my job is boring... a pretty shit one if you ask me! Absolutely shocked with some of the opinions about childminders like we are some lower class citizen that gets the privilege of playing with your kid all day.
I had always had MASSIVE respect for stay at home mum's, but I also thought that my job is effectively that of a stay at home mum- except that I have observations, Ofsted, paperwork, accounting and the constant pressure of the fact that the children aren't my own. I wonder how you will feel when your children grow up a bit and you then need a childminder to sit on her arse all day with your children.

Baby and toddler groups are mainly for carers, actually (IMO). Toddlers don't need to be playing with other children - developmentally, they can actually can't do so.

"CMs are being paid to entertain the DCs in their care. There are some people who might think that leaving them unsupervised at a playgroup represents a dereliction of duty.

There are also people who think that the point of a toddler group is to provide the parents with a support network, not for CMs to be able to put their feet up for an hour"

Wiehorzon. I agree

Developmentally toddlers can't play with other children?

But how can you agree NotYoda?
It is a FACT that childminders are not paid to 'entertain' children.
It is a FACT that without express permission from parents, childminders aren't allowed to leave children unsupervised anywhere, so anyone who sees that happening should be doing their duty as a citizen and reporting the childminder to Ofsted.
And what playgroups do you go to where a parent or childminder is able to sit back with their feet up?!

Toddlers don't need to be playing with other children - developmentally, they can actually can't do so.

Sorry, this is bollocks.

Really confused why it's so difficult to get there 15/20 mins early. Surely you can play with/entertain your DC the same way you would if you were waiting at the doctors or somewhere. Obviously you've got to decide whether it's worth doing that to get into the group.

our toddler group is just as much, if not more, for the parents and carers as the kids. its a chance to meet up, socialise, get out of the house. we try to chat to everyone who turns up, let them talk and we listen. at the moment we only have a few childminders, but if we had too many people, I would stop them coming and prioritise the non-professional parents and grandparents. we are lucky we dont have to do that. we have changed our pricing policy though as we were getting people paying £2 per family and literally bringing half the family. now it is £2 for 3 people (2 adults one child or 1 adult 2 children) and 50p per extra person.

Yeah, it's bollocks

I still think that SAHMS should take priority because their need for social interaction and support is greater than CMs

Getting there 15 minutes could go in your favour !
Less people, you could actually stike up a conversation with people!

I would have gone under with PND if it weren't for my church toddler group

childminders are not allowed at most of the playgroups here, we are quite unusual in allowing them. they have a group at the childrens centre though.

I still think that SAHMS should take priority because their need for social interaction and support is greater than CMs

But what about the toddlers looked after by CMs? Is their need for social interaction and enjoying toddler groups less than that of SAHMs children? Why is it fair for them to miss out? There are other ways SAHMs can socialise and access support.