To think SAHM should get priority over childminders at busy toddler groups?

[HulkMama]

Just wondering how people feel about childminders taking groups of children to a free toddler group that routinely turns stay at home mums away because they are full?

It's a church run group so they don't want to turn anyone away, I get that, but if there isn't room for everyone should childminders be taking up the places that parents with their own kids need?

Childminders are being paid to look after the kids! I just want to get out of the house and have a bit of adult conversation!

Comments from childminders welcome. 😉

CMs are being paid to entertain the DCs in their care. There are some people who might think that leaving them unsupervised at a playgroup represents a dereliction of duty.

There are also people who think that the point of a toddler group is to provide the parents with a support network, not for CMs to be able to put their feet up for an hour.

Just to say - at the waiting list groups where I live, there is no "turn up earlier". I could still be standing there from the week before and it wouldn't be early enough. If your name is not on the waiting list, you can't get in. Even if there might be space because a waiting list person hasn't turned up!!!

I do agree though, the devil is in the detail and I can't see a workable solution.

The groups are for the child And it shouldn't matter one jot who brings them.

100% this!

The groups are for the child

I'm afraid I disagree with this. The groups are partly for the child, also partly for the parent IMO.

Tbh our group tends to provide support for both.

I agree!! Childminders are being paid to look after children, so they should do so. Being a SAHM is hard and boring, you just want an adult conversation once in a blue moon!

Hulk I would imagine that the NCT coffee mornings have been stopped because they didn't have volunteers to run them. Why don't you volunteer.

Oh and YABVVU. For all the reasons everyone else said.

Okay, the point with the getting there early is this: 15 minutes early and you might get in. So, 20 minutes early? 30 minutes early? And what am i supposed to do with my toddler while we are camped on the doorstep for over 15 minutes? Yes, i can talk to the others waiting but thats probably not going to cut it with my toddler.
Im not too proud to admit that i dont have a pack of mummy friends for me and my daughter to socialise with, I need toddler groups!

I'm a childminder and this thread is full of some reall horrible messages.
Yes I may be getting paid, but I'm not at the toddler group because I'm getting paid to be there am I? I am getting paid regardless of whether I'm at the park, toddler group or half way to the moon. I'm not at the toddler group because I find it particularly enjoyable or for my own benefit. I am there because my mindees are members of the community just like your little darlings and I want them to have the same, if not better experiences as everyone else does.

The toddler groups I attend are more for me than dd, she is 2 she likes the singing but we can and do sing at home, luckily for me the organisers hold a couple of places back for late arriving regulars as 3 child minders arriving with multiple children mean it can fill up very quickly

Eh? I'm a SAHM and say you're being ridiculous. I get it's annoying that it's always full, but what's so wrong with getting there 15 minutes earlier?
As the saying goes, you snooze, you lose.
Hardly fair to say kids can't go if it's not their mum or dad taking them and a childminder's taking them instead.
Would you apply your logic to two or three large families with several kids in it being turned out as well as there were too many of them?! hmm]

I'm a SAHM and I think everyone should be accepted on an equal basis. The needs of CMs and their charges are no less than those of SAHMs and their children.

I did go to a million different toddler groups with my socially ravenous firstborn and did prefer those with other SAHMs rather than those dominated by CMs. Our priorities were different and we tended to talk about different things. But I don't think anyone should have been excluded or pushed to the bottom of the queue.

You could possibly try to entertain your child for 15 minutes.....

And sorry to let everyone down, but sometimes being a childminder is 'hard and boring'. I absolutely love my job, as I'm sure any SAHM does theirs. However that doesn't alter the fact that my company for approximately 8-10 hours all day every day is pre school aged children and babies. I love them, I love everything that we do, but they are not exactly adult company are they. I'm in need of a bit of socialisation with adults as much as the next lady is, childminder or parent.

I'm a nanny, so not sure if I'd be allowed into playgroup under the OP's rules or not?!

Having been a nanny for quite a long time, I have been to many, many, many playgroups over the years.

The ones where there is a distinction between the hardworking and wonderful SAHPs and the 'staff' paid to look after someone elses child do not have a good atmosphere.

The ones where everyone talks to each other and mucks in with everything are great.

Comments like 'childminders won't make friends' and 'SAHM don't want to talk to childminders they want to talk to other mums' and 'but they're being paid' are not going to bring a positive and pleasant atmosphere to the playgroup. It's a shame because you're ruining it for yourself and your child.

'CMs are being paid to entertain the DCs in their care.'

'There are also people who think that the point of a toddler group is to provide the parents with a support network, not for CMs to be able to put their feet up for an hour.'

Um... what toddler groups do you go to where you get to put your feet up for an hour? I must be missing these magical toddler groups where I can go with my 6 month old, 18 month old and 24 month old and 'put my feet up for an hour' whilst someone watches my mindees for me.
Also, I think you'll find that a childminder is not paid to 'entertain' children. That would be a children's entertainer.

sometimes being a childminder is 'hard and boring'

You're being paid though! Its not the same thing as being a SAHM. Not at all!

The cm I saw at toddler group dd nothing but chat for the whole time. They ignored their charges often even when said charges came to them crying.

What would you do OP, if they said "Ok, fine, no CMs" and the amount of parents and children was still too many?

What do the other toddlers do who are waiting in the queue? They must manage. They probably play with each other and run around near the queue, play with a favourite toy, eat some fruit? You could take a few books to look at with them? You really seem like you're looking for reasons you can't possibly go because of these cm's. Surely if other people can get there in time and entertain their toddlers you could too?
If it's really too much hassle you could look on Netmums and see if there are any mums in your area to meet up with?

Yabu I'm afraid. First come first served.

It does sound tough though. None are full around me so although there are several cm there, it doesn't matter.

If it's not worth going earlier to, maybe soft play or a play cafe is a safer bet, or an activity you're booked into. Much less likely to be full of cm.

CMs also tend to have less need to ask questions of other parents to see if this is a normal issue with their child and if this stage of development is normal.

A separate issue, but I wonder why groups like ittheholidaysyet's group charged the nursery group as 1 family? When I took my friend's child to a toddler group I was honest and payed for two families, even though both children were with me.

On the main point I agree with the majority: OP try to go early, help setting up and enjoy :)

First come, first served.

You'll have to get there 15 mins earlier. It's not that hard.