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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to go to this (non) wedding?

111 replies

clary · 10/05/2017 19:14

DH's nephew is getting wed. Very small do, they are all going away in the UK for a week Hmm anyway we are asked to the party to celebrate the event.

Just got the invite and it is in the middle of DD's GCSEs and the day after DS2's 28th birthday - and actually the day of his party. This party is a low key affair, three of his mates at cinema and McDonald's, but still may involve a sleepover, and even if noy, I want to be on hand. So does DH really.

I like his sister (grooms mum) but am not that fussed about the lads wedding - and in any case it's not his wedding. DH says we/he maybe should show out/his face. AIBU not to go? It's about 90 mins drive away.

OP posts:
LedaP · 10/05/2017 19:15

You want to be on hand for his 28th birthday party?

HamletsSister · 10/05/2017 19:15

Not sure why you need to be around for a 28 year old's trip to the cinema. GCSEs are important, though. On that basis, I would stay with DD and get DH to go alone.

CabbagePatchKid91 · 10/05/2017 19:16

Your son is having a sleepover at 28?

FlamingoPrincess1212 · 10/05/2017 19:16

Hi
Do you mean ds2 is going to be eight?
Or twenty eight

If the former yanbu definitely
If the latter it's up to you, 28 yo doesn't need you for birthday

isawahatonce · 10/05/2017 19:17

I'm assuming the OP's DS isn't actually 28. Is he 8?

Elllicam · 10/05/2017 19:17

Is 28 a typo? In any case YANBU not to go, it might be different if it was the actual wedding but for a party at an awkward time I wouldn't bother.

annandale · 10/05/2017 19:17

Yes, sorry, you lost me at the idea of a 28 year old having a sleepover - WTAF? Isn't that called a 'guest'?

And surely a 28 year old still living with his parents and having friends over to play Hmm would actually rather you went?

SquatBetty · 10/05/2017 19:17

Assume 28 is a typo and you mean 8?

Original poster
clary · 10/05/2017 19:18

Haha 18th bday not 28thGrin

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 19:19

Still though...I mean, 18 is not 8....

Original poster
clary · 10/05/2017 19:19

Sorry you guys are all too quick, he is going to be 18 fat fingers on phoneGrin

OP posts:
LedaP · 10/05/2017 19:21

18??? Really? You want to be in hand for him having 3 mates over?

If you dont want to go, don't. But the birthday is a poor excuse. As is you not being able to go out because dd is doing gcses.

isawahatonce · 10/05/2017 19:21

clary oh good. I'm glad you don't have a 28 year old DC who needs parental supervision for a sleepover. I should think an 18 yo with a few friends and a GCSE-aged child could amuse themselves for a few hours if you wanted to go but if you feel you want to be around, how would you feel about your DH going along on his own for a bit?

SweetChickadee · 10/05/2017 19:21

no, sorry, 18 is still weird. Does he want his mum and dad knocking about?

I'd go to the wedding if I were you.

Original poster
clary · 10/05/2017 19:22

Yeah he can get to and from town of course but I want to mark my boys 18th! Also thought I should be o hand with cake Grin

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 19:22

I think you should go, leave the kids to do their own thing. It's not like you'll be gone ages!

He's going to be 18! A grown adult! You don't need to be on hand for a 'sleepover' (although at 18 I would have died rather than call it that Grin )

LemonyFresh · 10/05/2017 19:22

He's not going to the pub or clubbing on his 18th?!

Dozer · 10/05/2017 19:22

Is he not your nephew too?

As you get on with the family It's be pretty poor for neither of you to go. DH should go, at the very least.

Not U for the DC to remain at home.

PeaFaceMcgee · 10/05/2017 19:22

What's with the raised eyebrow over a week in the UK?

HerBluebiro · 10/05/2017 19:22

18 isn't 8.... but id be more tempted to stay near by to an 18 year old and his mates than say a 20 year old.... I just remember the alcohol trouble I got into at 18

BingBongBingBong · 10/05/2017 19:23

Using the excuse of your son's 18th birthday to not go is crap. He's going to be 18 not 5, he doesn't need you or his dad at his party. By all means don't go but don't use that rubbish excuse!

LedaP · 10/05/2017 19:24

His birthday is the day before.

It isnt a party. He is going to the cinema and a MacDonalds.

You clearly dont want to go so don't. But the excuses are odd.

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:24

No, I wouldn't go. DD's GCSEs and my son's 18th would come first.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 19:26

But, it's not like you can sit a GCSE for your child...when you say 'come first', what do you actually mean in practice? They have to go and do it themselves! They can tell you about it after!

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:26

Honestly, why even bother asking on AIBU? You know you don't want to go; you get a load of people calling you effectively a twat.