AIBU not to go to this (non) wedding?

[clary]

DH's nephew is getting wed. Very small do, they are all going away in the UK for a week anyway we are asked to the party to celebrate the event.

Just got the invite and it is in the middle of DD's GCSEs and the day after DS2's 28th birthday - and actually the day of his party. This party is a low key affair, three of his mates at cinema and McDonald's, but still may involve a sleepover, and even if noy, I want to be on hand. So does DH really.

I like his sister (grooms mum) but am not that fussed about the lads wedding - and in any case it's not his wedding. DH says we/he maybe should show out/his face. AIBU not to go? It's about 90 mins drive away.

If you don't want to go then own it, but don't use your children as an excuse.

Good summary, I think.

Using an 18-year-old's (!!) non-party and another child's exam revision as excuses just sounds silly.

Just decline politely (and soon) and say you have a clash.

I also agree with mummy above, tbh.

No, I wouldn't go. DD's GCSEs and my son's 18th would come first

I agree.

YABVVVVVVVVVVU for calling 18 y olds sleeping over a 'sleepover' 😂

Im confused by that because the friends are actually 'sleeping over' at the OPs house.

Yesterday I asked my daughter if her and her husband were having a sleepover at my house tonight after they had their pals over for his 29th birthday - they are having a swim and pizza. No alcohol as they're all in training for something (but not many of them drink anyway) and it probably sounds very tame but it will be good laugh.

I would skip it and stay to support DD.

An invitation is just that, not a summons, you are allowed to decline and you don't have to give reasons or excuses. You simply reply thanking them for the invitation, but you are unable to attend. All they need to know is how many people are coming from the catering/venue size point of view.

Send a nice present and don't worry about it.

If you don't want to go, don't go, but your excuses are weak. Your DD's exams are not going to be affected by you attending a wedding; it's not like you need to take her with you. And I'm pretty stunned that you think you need to supervise an 18-yr-old having three friends over after a cinema trip?! Cinema, McDonald's and a mate's house isn't a party or a special event, it's just something teenagers do all the time. You don't need to be involved.

girlywhirly - good advice. Invitations are not summons, and you don't have to give an excuse. Just decline and send a present.

That might be fine for friends and distant relatives but this is OP's nephew! I guess the family can't be on very good terms.

Agree with koala etc above - don't go if you don't want to. But it would have driven me bonkers to have my DM hovering about all through my GCSE revision "in case" I needed her. And I had an A-level exam and went to the pub with my boyfriend on my 18th, so I struggle to see it as a big deal which needs parents around the day after...

Update! Thanks for all your thoughts. Turns out it is all moo as Joey would say; the bride is panicking at the idea of dinner with lots of people she doesn't know so now the after-wedding party is now close family only! So as you were.