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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to go to this (non) wedding?

111 replies

clary · 10/05/2017 19:14

DH's nephew is getting wed. Very small do, they are all going away in the UK for a week Hmm anyway we are asked to the party to celebrate the event.

Just got the invite and it is in the middle of DD's GCSEs and the day after DS2's 28th birthday - and actually the day of his party. This party is a low key affair, three of his mates at cinema and McDonald's, but still may involve a sleepover, and even if noy, I want to be on hand. So does DH really.

I like his sister (grooms mum) but am not that fussed about the lads wedding - and in any case it's not his wedding. DH says we/he maybe should show out/his face. AIBU not to go? It's about 90 mins drive away.

OP posts:
Original poster
clary · 10/05/2017 19:27

No, DD's GCSEs is a reason she can't go, not anyone else of course.

OP posts:
Goldfishjane · 10/05/2017 19:27

OP why the face at going away in the UK?

PeaFaceMcgee · 10/05/2017 19:28

Do you like your nephew?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 10/05/2017 19:28

My comment was to LineysRun not OP.

Seems odd to me to put yourself under house arrest because your child is taking their GCSESs Confused

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:28

Jesus just don't go, don't ask in AIBU, don't put a twatty event before your kids.

spottysuperted · 10/05/2017 19:28

If there's no other factors at play re age and development YABU for organising an 18th in a McDonald's ....

Original poster
clary · 10/05/2017 19:28

Haha lineysrun you're right there Smile

OP posts:
LedaP · 10/05/2017 19:28

DD's GCSEs and my son's 18th would come first

Do parents really stop any social activity when their kids do GCSE?

Its not his birthday. Its the day after. Whrn he is going to the cinema....with his friends.

LedaP · 10/05/2017 19:29

How is a wdding celebration a twatty events and how is it putting the event before the kids?

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:31

clary Smile back at you

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/05/2017 19:31

Flimsy reasons.

Go. Or don't go. But if you don't go, don't use those reasons as the excuses.

blueskyinmarch · 10/05/2017 19:32

Maybe missing the point here but who goes to the cinema and McDonald's for their 18th? I am slightly weirded out by that!

Kateallison16 · 10/05/2017 19:34

Gave me a giggle.

Best stay on hand op, things might get wild. What next?! Crack open a wkd between them? Be home after 9? Midnight feast!

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:36

My DS was 18 before his school friends turned 18. They weren't allowed in a pub / club. They went for food somewhere.

Leeds2 · 10/05/2017 19:36

I think you are getting a tough time, clary!

I wouldn't go to a wedding party during a DC's GCSEs because mine appreciated having someone around. Not necessary, but I believe it helped them with whatever revision they were doing.

I would also want to spend the weekend of my DC's 18th with them, or at least on the periphery whilst they celebrated with friends and most probably ignored me.

Get your OH to go by himself.

Sickofthemess · 10/05/2017 19:37

What's wrong with going to the cinema and McDonald's for your 18th?

I'd be really pleased if my 18 year old opted for that rather than the pub.

Love51 · 10/05/2017 19:38

I missed an 'in lieu of a wedding' party, because, basically, I couldn't be bothered. Two small small children, one who would vomit repeatedly on the winding journey (90 minutes each way unless we hit traffic), breastfed baby, awkward timings. Couldn't stay over. None of the things were insurmountable, I just didn't have the energy to deal with all of them.
I regret not going. I thought at the time 'its not like I was invited to their wedding' but they did invite me to their party, and I could have gone.
I think, be guided by, would you go if it were a wedding? If so, go. If not, meh.

Does you son not want to go to his cousins wedding? Birthdays can be rescheduled!

LineysRun · 10/05/2017 19:39

Leeds exactly. Others are different, though. Fair enough.

McTufty · 10/05/2017 19:39

I don't think the reasons you put forward are good reasons you can't go. However I think when invited to a wedding party (as in not the wedding itself) there's no obligation to make a particular effort to go unless you want to.

1AnnoyingOrange · 10/05/2017 19:39

I think you should show your face.

But if you don't want to, then blame the GCSEs

I think I would like to be there/mark my DCs 18th birthdays and hope they would want me to be around, but that doesn't have to be the same day as his cinema /mcdonalds party.

happypoobum · 10/05/2017 19:42

As it isn't actually a wedding, and as you really can't be arsed, I would say don't go.

If DH wants to go he can go can't he?

expatinscotland · 10/05/2017 19:43

It's not a wedding! It's a party after the event. Birthdays can be rescheduled? Erm, no, they can't, and this one is an 18th, of course it comes before some poxy party. No way I'd miss my child's birthday for something like this.

I CBA'd with this, either, OP. Send your DH on his own.

TheEmmaDilemma · 10/05/2017 19:44

I'm laughing at this. At 18 he can probably cope with being alone. He'd probably bloody prefer it. Then he can stop pretending he's going to McDonalds and enjoy it.

Go.

Is daughter actually sitting or studying? Could she not study there with you?

If you don't want to go just say? And how is it not his/nephew wedding?

expatinscotland · 10/05/2017 19:46

' And how is it not his/nephew wedding?'

Because he got married a week before, at his wedding. Hmm

TheEmmaDilemma · 10/05/2017 19:46

Oh sorry missed that. It's the after party. If you cant be arsed don't bother but just say.

I totally get wanting to celebrate with your son, but I don't think he needs you there specifically for that whole day or to monitor the 'party'!