Why do schools have "chosen" children? 🙄

[SameKidsAgain]

My dc is on a school residential atm and the teachers are constantly posting updates of them on fb but only pics of the same kids who are chosen for EVERY school photo opportunity. I don't get it. I'd really like to see some other children (including mine!) enjoying themselves too...but it's always the same ones over and over again, every year and every term for every topic. It's so bloody annoying and unfair, like those handful of elite children represent the whole school year 😡. Well they don't.

My Dc would never say no to a photo. They aren't camera shy. They're being left out on purpose along with a whole host of other children whose parents aren't with the "in" crowd of the PTA and teachers popular society.

It's not just a question of making friends with the teachers, it's showing your children how to grab opportunities, and network.

Wtf. Why should we teach our kids to network and grab opportunities to get a bit of praise and have their 5 mins of fame in school? Shouldn't the teachers be making sure EVERYONE gets equal opportunities?! can't believe I just read that. 😕

*Sittinginthesun
*
Yes Iv been on nearly every trip since she started school, I'm talking about the residential where parents were not able to attend.
Iv seen with my own eyes teachers picking out the same children.

My daughter has a ton of charisma thankyou, she also participates in everything she possibly can inside and outside school. I help out at school fundraising events, sports day, etc. My daughter is the first to volunteer and auditions for absolutely anything going.

You sound extremely judgemental and egotistical.
These children aren't picked based on 'charisma' or how pretty or talented they are.
They're picked because they are confident and outgoing and make themselves heard more loudly.

My daughter is reserved, but fully capable and willing and ambitious to join in at school.

In your mind you're imaging that my daughter simply doesn't bother, and you probably think that about the children in your child's school, who aren't picked, but that's not true at all, they do out themselves forward and they are keen, but teachers just tend to pick the same children they've used before time and time again, because they have already learnt what that child is capable of.

I'm just telling you what happens. Of course the schools offer equal opportunities, but not everyone takes them. You can't force a child to audition for a part, or smile for a photo, or revise for a test. You can encourage, give every child a chance, but some children will have a go at everything, others won't. It's not 5 mins of fame, it's throwing yourself into whatever you do.

JaquesHammer blimey is it that complicated for me to explain to you

For example, last year on their yr 5 residential, they were doing an assault course, all in a line going through the same track..snap snap same kids (could have taken a photo of a few different ones)

Then They had a fashion show (my daughter in the background) same kids were snapped walking the catwalk.

They were photographed eating lunch at the table...same kids again. Could have easily photographed the others as they were all sat round the same table.

Last night disco.. group photo this time (yey I got to see my dd) individuals of the same 3 girls, and again same girls dancing.

This isn't paranoia, it's the truth.

Sittinginthesun can you read???

I just said my daughter tries at EVERYTHING just like a lot of her friends do.

But they don't get picked.

This is favouritism.

Okay, rare I jump into these threads. Apologies if I seem judgemental and egotistical, but I live in an area with many pushy schools and parents, so this is what I see.

If you have a problem, think your child is being over looked, then maybe talk to the school?

Sittinginthesun I have, Iv had 3 meetings with the headteacher and her teacher and complained to the department of education.
Because I was sick of my daughter crying herself to sleep at night about it.
She has no problems outside school, but school is slowly destroying her self worth.

You haven't gone though it, so you can't imagine what it feels like to be that child or parent. In future please realise that your child is not more special or capable or charismatic then others just because they get picked.
Like I said, the reason why is because it becomes a habit for the teacher and an easy option, because they know what they're capable of, and it increases a child's confidence.

I was a chosen child at school. My mum was a housewife and my dad worked in a factory. Although they were always supportive of me, they never volunteered at school or got involved at all. School barely recognised my younger brother at all, in fact in high school we went 3 years before our teachers even realised we were siblings, despite having an unusual surname. I honestly couldn't tell you why that was. I was never pushy - in fact I hate having my photo taken. I was confident speaking in public though. I think he's probably more self confident than me now.

Anon, what year is your dd in? sounds horrible for her. You're right, from some of these comments, it's obvious no one is willing to believe or understand what it's like for children who are left out. My dc is noticing more and more who gets photographed and is often disheartened by it. I can only see it getting worse.

SameKidsAgain my dd is in year 6. She has dyslexia and requires Sen support, so I think they've labelled her as 'special needs' when In fact she can read very well.now, it just took her longer to be a free reader.
So because when she was in her infant years she wasn't able to narrate, they've failed to see that for the last 3 years she's been more then capable and have stuck to using the same old kids which makes it boring for the parents every school play might I add.

And don't get me started on school 'angels'

SameKidsAgain op do you plan on raising it with the headteacher?

Anyone would think he's the only kid in the whole school. It looks like every group HE'S with gets chosen to be photographed. His parents must be fucking proud.

This is a child you are talking about. You sound deeply unpleasant and very bitter.

That's terrible anon. What are the school Angels?

I'd like to bring it up, but I'm afraid of being labelled as "that parent". They're all already very cliquey and I'm afraid I'll make things even worse for dc.

My DS was also on a residential this week. I excitedly checked Twitter, looking updates, and a little reassurance that he was having a good time. But low and behold, the same 4 children's faces appear, time after time. It's very disheartening, and you're right, the kids who are not chosen, do pick up on it, and adopt a ' what's the point', attitude

The school 'angels' are the girls who get picked to be angels in yr r-3 and usually go on to be narrators and main parts.

My dd 7 (year 2) was given the part of an angel, she had the whole costume sorted and was over the moon, and then the day before her first performance they said that her part had been changed to a Shepard.

So unfortunately it looks like it's going the same way for her.

Anon, interesting, the Angels in our year 2 X mas play have main parts every year now. My dc had a main part in year 1 and has been cast aside since then.

Onlyslightly, it's shit isn't it?

It is! Tons of pictures of pretty blonde, blue eyed girls.... and all with PTA friendly parents....

Onlyslightlyinterested, sounds familiar! We might be at the same school 🤔

blimey is it that complicated for me to explain to you

Hey if your "darling" daughter has the same attitude as her parent maybe there's your answer.

I am explaining to you AS a photo taker how it might be occurring. How it isn't always a conspiracy against your child. How there are countless factors at play all more likely than "hey let's exlude x"

Maybe I am not the one struggling to understand other posters.....

I have a theory that the teachers do it as a form of class management. It's like actors or comedians having 'plants' in the audience. You get a handful of the popular, confident kids onside, and you toss a few personalised jokes in their direction to keep them engaged, and you win over their (popular, confident) friendship group, and suddenly you feel like the school is one big, matey, motivated group, all sharing the banter. And it's easy to forget that the quieter kids you haven't bothered to engage with at all or learn their names think you're an utter tosser.
Yeah... because we don't get trained in behaviour management, restorative approaches etc. We really need to entertain and suck uo to little divas to do our jobs.

Heaven forbid that creating a nice learning environment, having decent expectations, enforcing behaviour policy and actually the kids knowing you're a good teacher is what keeps a class in line. (Only teachers I meet who try too hard to charm teenage banter aren't respected by ANY kids or colleagues)

But this is yet another thread of "here's something that annoyed me so it must be true"

Do you know, I think you're right....😜