Why do schools have "chosen" children? 🙄

[SameKidsAgain]

My dc is on a school residential atm and the teachers are constantly posting updates of them on fb but only pics of the same kids who are chosen for EVERY school photo opportunity. I don't get it. I'd really like to see some other children (including mine!) enjoying themselves too...but it's always the same ones over and over again, every year and every term for every topic. It's so bloody annoying and unfair, like those handful of elite children represent the whole school year 😡. Well they don't.

How hard is it not to post pictures of specific same children and post pictures of groups of OTHER children? not that hard is it. Then these same kids will also have pictures up on the website for dress up day associated with the topic and the residential.

My dd went on a school residential last year and there was so much moaning about the fb pics that this year they didn't put up any at all.

My dd went on a school residential last year and there was so much moaning about the fb pics that this year they didn't put up any at all.

This is what will happen more and more.

More hassle than it is worth.

I'd prefer no photos than photos of the "chosen ones", which looks like what they're doing today.

*Basically if you're a teacher EVERTHING you do is wrong.

It's exhausting.*

I agree teachers unfairly get a hard time with a lot of things, but seriously, how hard is it to ensure the same kids are not picked constantly?

At best it's really bloody thoughtless.

The 'chosen few' phenomenon has followed my kids all through both primary and secondary school, and in the case of my eldest dd, it was the same girl in her year who went from being the lead part in every primary play to being head girl at secondary, hoovering up attention and special praise at every opportunity along the way. From observing it (and the resentment it causes) at close quarters for so many years, I have a theory that the teachers do it as a form of class management. It's like actors or comedians having 'plants' in the audience. You get a handful of the popular, confident kids onside, and you toss a few personalised jokes in their direction to keep them engaged, and you win over their (popular, confident) friendship group, and suddenly you feel like the school is one big, matey, motivated group, all sharing the banter. And it's easy to forget that the quieter kids you haven't bothered to engage with at all or learn their names think you're an utter tosser.

Beautifully put, OddMollie.

chickenowner, no not everything teachers do and not every teacher. I have 4 kids, two went to the same primary and secondary, we moved and the younger two went to another primary and secondary. The secondary schools did none of this, the first primary did none of this, the second primary was a nightmare with the Head's two kids, school manager's two kids, Head of governors' three kids always getting picked for everything, around them was a clique of "in" parents whose kids also got picked for lots.

It really isn't every school and every teacher but it does happen and when it does it is nasty and divisive.

When our new school website was launched, the pictures on it were all of girls. Not a single boy shown - a bit weird given that its a mixed school with 500 pupils. They did at least feature a wide variety of girls, though.

The ones that conform.

BarbarianMum, that is weird. Maybe mention discrimination to them, are boys generally excluded from stuff?

What if there are easy kids mixed with "challenging" kids? Not very fair on anyone is it? It should be a large group photo so every parent can see what their child is doing (minus any children not allowed). Not a snapshot of 2/3 kids representing the whole school year.

On a trip, IME you give the volunteer helpers the easy well behaved kids. They will have time to take photos. You give experienced staff the challenging kids. There is no way any school or club is going to give volunteer helpers some challenging kids to supervise, simply im the hope of some of them getting into photos. And lining up all the kids, minus those not allowed, to take a photo on a school trip!! Honestly there are so many things to deal with usually that I would only have done that with a very easy group of kids.

Also my photo has never featured anywhere as a child or adult. But I always seem to close my eyes at the vital moment, so photos of me are usually rubbish. My DB always used to pull faces in his, so no way would his have been used. And my DS hated having her photo taken, and would always look uncomfortable.

parents, while I'm here, please, do us all a favour. If you've told the school that they can't use any photos of your children, please tell your children

Our Rainbow unit used to have a girl who was not allowed photos at all - none taken as well as none shared online/used for publicity, which is the usual opt-out position.

Parents had not told her and just expected school/Rainbows to manage it. She was only 6 so had not yet twigged that she was always the photographer's assistant but frankly I agree with you - please let the child know, even if you aren't yet prepared to let the child know why (CP issue in this case, but not particularly due to the child - that makes no sense I know but I can't say more). But they were setting themselves up for the girl asking whether she was/wasn't allowed and us not being able to say even whether she was allowed.

How hard is it not to post pictures of specific same children and post pictures of groups of OTHER children? not that hard is it

It's been explained how hard it is. Especially if there are numbers of children who can't be in images.

But still. Continue knocking staff whilst they're giving your kids amazing experiences like residential trips or school days out or drama workshops etc etc

Jacques but that doesn't explain why teachers only photograph a select few over and over, and ignore a load of others with permission???

And it also does not explain why those selected few are given privileges over others, main parts, roles etc over and over and over again.

This is not a conspiracy, it's a fact and it needs sorting out, so that in future schools won't irreversibly damage a child's self worth. The 'teachers pet' era needs to end asap.

My son is a reliable and confident child, is sporty and academic but he and his friends are never at the front of school shows or in photos on the school website. I'm not surprised as they are a scruffy bunch and you can rely on more than one of them to be covered in dirt, bleeding or wearing half their lunch at any given time. I don't blame the school for focusing attention on the kids that are neatly dressed, tidy and stand still long enough for the photo to not be blurred.

Miked99 do you think that most children are scruffy, hyper and wear their food??

Let's be honest they choose whoever is the most outspoken and confident and then increase it 10 fold by year 6 and as a result decrease other children's confidence sometimes to the point of being so bad, that throughout adulthood they're very likely to be the type to have self worth issues aswell.

I think there is a lot of hyperbole on this thread. I was never ever chosen as a quiet fat kid. My self esteem is not in tatters as a result. It mattered when I was a young kid that I didn't get a part in the school play, it matters not a jot now.

My family were the chosen ones. No they have not had their self esteem damaged now they have left school and are no longer the chosen ones, or become insufferable over confident young people.

These things feel like a big deal at the time, but they are not in the long run.

I helped out on a school residential and had about 8 children to supervise

I took loads of pictures of them (two children didnt want their picture taken) no other adult did

So anyone looking at the website would have seen masses of pictures of the same 6 children

Might be something similar....or not

anon because if you're taking candids on a trip you don't have time to sort the kids.

You're snapping with what is in front of you. Would you rather have the teachers spending time providing these opportunities and watching the children or spending ages priming "posed" pictures.

What will happen is it will end up with no schools bothering to post pics because certain parents complain about the smallest little thing.

Well they're posting pics again and although there's a few different kids (a few more PTA member children aswell) the same child has appeared once again in a picture. Ffs. Anyone would think he's the only kid in the whole school. It looks like every group HE'S with gets chosen to be photographed. His parents must be fucking proud.

Anon, this won't simply be favouritism by teachers. And there are other ways to handle this, without blaming the school or children.

The photo thing may be simply because the children were in a group with the adult who had the camera. Have you ever helped on a trip? The teachers are so worried about risk assessments, counting heads etc, making sure everyone is in a photo is not always going to happen.

I was on a sports trip last year. My ds2 won the event, but he's not in many photos - he was very much cheered on and encouraged during the day, but simply wasn't near the teacher who had a quiet 5 mins with a camera.

As for the other stuff, I'm afraid it sounds like jealously and insecurity. If you really want to make your child more visible, then you can. It's not just a question of making friends with the teachers, it's showing your children how to grab opportunities, and network.

If your child wants to make the sports teams, they have to put the effort into the sport. Turn up to practice, even in the rain. Don't give up if they are not picked at first. Encourage their team mates on. Sane with school plays - if they're that bothered, get your child yo a local drama group. Let school know it's their "thing".

And, as for charisma, you certainly can't ask a child to turn it off. My ds1 has no idea, he is completely oblivious to it, but he's been the same since he was four months old.

Two more thoughts, as I'm peeling potatoes:

Does your child want to be in the photos? Lots of children shy away from the camera, or just are not bothered. The children in the photos may not actually be the teacher's "pets" at all, but be enthusiastically grinning whenever a camera appears.

Secondly, people who help in schools as parent governors, PTA members, or parent helpers are usually doing it because they want to give something back and support the school. They will be acting as roll models for their children, but it's rare to find anyone social climbing or pushing their child. As governors, we rarely mention the children at all, unless you count endless graphs of anonymous dots...

Same - how do you know your kid wants to be in the photos? Maybe they said no.

Otherwise - why not volunteer your services as photo taker.