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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not go back to this job and expect to be paid at the end of the month still

128 replies

Sadlady1980 · 07/05/2017 20:52

I started work last Monday, in a crèche in a leisure centre
Worked well as my mother in law lives next door so can do my school run and I'm back shortly after and so on
First job since having DD so thought maybe a good stepping stone to get a better job in a year or two.
Anyway, the job isn't working with the children at all, I'm a complete skivvy.
Cleaning toilets, washing up, making tea with the occasional nappy change thrown in but that's all.
The girls are all late teens / early twenties and seem to have taken a disliking to me for no apparent reason.
I'm in my 30s married, boring and a frump really so am no threat to all these young pretty girls. I work hard and don't mind doing the things they don't like doing so I'm really upset to why they don't talk to me, answer me with one word answers and generally just ignore me.
When I walk into the staff room it goes completely quiet and some snigger.
If I just can't face it again tomorrow will I get paid for this week I have worked?
I wouldn't mind but it's been a dreadful week, and a bloody hard 30 hours of work so would actually be annoyed to not be paid for how miserable they've all made me but during the six month probation it says I must give a weeks notice / they must give a weeks notice so this is what's worrying me
Thanks for any help Guys!

OP posts:
Delatron · 08/05/2017 20:59

User 24621 blah blah You've just been accused of having a bad day on another thread?
Nothing is plain to see. This is a forum. Where people write certain accounts of events and everyone else chips in with their views. You haven't seen anything. You're making assumptions..

Cleanermaidcook · 08/05/2017 21:27

I work in childcare - you've described the job, you have to keep the place clean too and their nappies have to be changed it's not all playing and reading (actually not much at all is playing and reading)
Regarding the other staff - they will have established routines and a new person needs to fit in and do the shitty stuff too.
Also they all know each other and have their friendship groups and routines, maybe after a little time and encouragement they'd have come round but there really isn't any time at all where i work to be chatting to anyone. It doesn't sound to me like they were being bullies, just that you didn't realise what you were going into. I'd have took cakes instead of quitting, but then again it doesn't sound like you really needed or wanted the job particularly. Just because they're younger doesn't mean much, they have more experience than someone who's been there a week. Sounds like maybe they could have been friendlier but then so could you.

SootyShearwater · 08/05/2017 21:41

You can assume it, it's plain to see.

To you perhaps, but certainly not to everyone. As I said earlier, who appointed you to speak for everyone?

user1493022461 · 08/05/2017 21:51

To anyone with half a brain and a bit of experience, its plain to see. The rest of you are determined to see something totally fictional for some odd reason.

AuntMarch · 08/05/2017 23:03

Cleanermaidcook has said almost exactly what I was thinking as I read this thread. (That user name is totally apt for someone in childcare btw, which it seems the OP wasn't aware of!)

While the existing staff could have made more of an effort, I have missed where you tried to engage them in conversation OP? Unless where you refer to one word answers was you trying to get to know them rather than just asking necessary questions related to the job.

I spent 7 years in one day care setting and it always seemed to take new staff a little while to build a relationship with colleagues. It did when I started there, and it did when others started after me. If it went quiet in the staff room it was because a "friendship group" were discussing something more personal until someone not in their group came in. That's ok. Not everybody has to be friends, they just have to be civil.

Original poster
Sadlady1980 · 09/05/2017 10:50

I constantly tried to make an effort to speak to them, I was met with one word answers.
Laughing, sniggering and going silent when I walked into a room were not my doing.

OP posts:
Delatron · 09/05/2017 12:54

Sadlady. You did the right thing. Lots of people projecting on this thread and making wild assumptions about your attitude.
It sounded to me like you made an effort and they were very unkind. Life's too short to work in a place like that.

Mrsmadevans · 09/05/2017 16:38

Sadlady don't worry about it my dear ..................ppl (user1493022461 ) can be very nasty and try to upset others for various reasons ......usually because they are unhappy and have a shit life. They bait and try to upset ppl all the time .................they are best ignored , they inevitably get banned, hence why they don't have a proper moniker and are called USER . You did the right thing .

Jaxhog · 09/05/2017 17:03

It doesn't sound very friendly, but I would give it a bit longer before making any final decisions, say a month at least.

Speak to your manager if your duties aren't what you though they would be. You should have some sort of job description listing these.

user1493022461 · 09/05/2017 17:12

Lots of people projecting on this thread and making wild assumptions about your attitude
'
Yes, the people projecting that she was right to leave a job after only 30 hours because the other staff she demeaned and was dismissive of were bizarrely (to her mind) not instantly best friends.

Ask a hundred people on the street if they agree with her assessment or mine, I'm telling you 99 of them will be with me.

Summerisdone · 09/05/2017 17:21

If you refuse to work your weeks notice then they are legally allowed to keep a weeks wages to make up for it.
I work in a restaurant and have seen this happen when staff have just sent a text or a quick call to say they're not returning.

wendywashington · 09/05/2017 17:22

user and tinsel
Shock
Seriously? You are actually fine with talking to poster like you have?
These aren't computer generated questions. A real person typed them.
I hope you are both nicer off line.
imagines they both look like Fenella from Chorlton and the wheelies because l'm quite old

Polarbearflavour · 09/05/2017 17:28

They need to pay you for the hours you have worked, legally.

It does sound crap to be honest. I work in an office in business management and if I was told to clean the loos or work in the canteen for example - I would leave!

ShastaBeast · 09/05/2017 17:39

OP I'm sure you could've made it work but it would be tough. Come into a work place and being much older would be tricky. I suspect a proper nursery would suit you better, somewhere with a more settled workforce. Our nursery had lovely staff of all ages and the teens were lovely too. The managers should ensure new staff are made welcome but some work places probably have a high staff turnover and they don't think it's worth making the effort.

On my first day a colleague took me out to show me the local shops to buy lunch. But it's still awful to start a new job, especially after a long break - six years in my case. I had days I wanted to run away but I gave it time and it's fine now. I realised being home with kids had knocked my confidence and ability to socialise in an office. I gave myself time and space to do it in my own time. Having kids means there's bigger shit going on in life than work and it's meant I'm tougher in some ways.

user1493022461 · 09/05/2017 17:45

I work in an office in business management and if I was told to clean the loos or work in the canteen for example - I would leave

Oh jesus, it's painful. Was OP employed to do office management? NO, she was employed to clean the loos and such. But she feels this is beneath her and far too hard which is why she's quitting

wendywashington · 09/05/2017 17:49

She wasn't employed to just clean the loos though user
Massive difference.

wendywashington · 09/05/2017 17:50

*and such.

Nancy91 · 09/05/2017 18:00

user is probably unemployed and bitter or something as s/he is very invested in upsetting the OP and others.

I would always welcome new members of staff and help them out, because I wouldn't want them to feel isolated. I wouldn't expect a new recruit to make much effort to speak to me as it can be daunting for the first few weeks. Good people skills are essential in so many jobs, so I'm sure these women won't climb very high up the career ladder and you'll be the one laughing then. I'm glad you didn't settle for that crappy job.

GoldTippedFeather · 09/05/2017 18:10

I can not believe the attitude of User and Tinsel on this thread. I really hope I never have to work with them.

Regardless of how a new colleague presents themselves (I am not saying OP did anything wrong), the professional thing to do is be polite and courteous especially around children, these people are meant to be role models. If the OP definitely had the wrong attitude it is up to her manager to take her to one side and deal with it, not for other members of staff to bully her into submission.

My work has a graduate training scheme, however it attracts people of all ages meaning I could be supervising someone 10 years younger or older then myself, I still treat them with the same level of decency and respect regardless.

OP I think you were right to leave, I also would have said something to the manager. Hope you find something much nicer!

Polarbearflavour · 09/05/2017 18:12

user1493022461 - you are pretty rude aren't you. I'm sorry you are having such a bad day and hope you feel better soon. Biscuit

TinselTwins · 09/05/2017 18:17

the professional thing to do is be polite and courteous especially around children

What did they say that was rude?

They did answer the OP, just not with enough glee for her liking

Conversations often naturally stop when a new person enters the room it breaks the flow, it's a bit self obsessed to conclude that it's a concious group effort against you! it's not "bullying". One of my colleagues is having an awful time personally and it's affecting her at work. She is not obliged to keep talking about her personal problems that whenever someone she doesn't know comes into ear-shot.

Chloe84 · 09/05/2017 18:20

OP, are they paying you for the days you worked?

GoldTippedFeather · 09/05/2017 18:25

Oh yes Tinsel because the way people talk to each other is of no consequence whatsoever. As long as they have answered the OP's question regardless of tone etc then that is ok.

I very much hope you are not in charge of anyone in your job, if you have one.

SnickersWasAHorse · 09/05/2017 18:29

I work in an office in business management and if I was told to clean the loos or work in the canteen for example - I would leave!

But what if that was part of your job description? I imagine it was part of the op's new job to do the tasks asked of her. Fwiw I have cleaned the toilets, made tea and changed nappies. I'm a teacher and have had to do that when working in a school nursery.

ForTheLoveOfSleep · 09/05/2017 18:30

I was in this exact situation a few years ago.
Started working at a nursery at age 27 as an apprentice where all of the staff (with the exception of the manager) were younger then me. 80% under age 20 and the other 3 apprentices were 16. It was extremely awkward at first as they weren't sure how to act around me at lunch and went quiet whenever I walked into a room. It passed after a week or two.
They may not be being malicious, they may be unsure how to act around you as they don't know you yet.
I would recommend trying to stick it out for a couple weeks but only if you think you can.

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