AIBU to be really pissed off with this Cafe?

[mermaidofthewestside]

Morning MN
Went to a cafe yesterday with friends. My daughter has eczema & dairy products really affect her skin. She has not had any in 4 years.
Where I live there are a lot of places that do vegan/dairy free options & dairy free ice-cream is pretty normal everywhere.
They had one dairy free sorbet & I made it really clear that DD couldn't have dairy & asked him to check the cones were dairy free too.
After a few mouthfuls DD became upset & said she didn't want the sorbet & became very itchy. I put it down to tiredness because I didn't want to re-question the cafe staff & our friends had paid & it was quite a small place, so I did that 'don't-want-to-cause-a-scene thing & took DD home. By the time we got home 15 mins later her whole face had blistered & her torso was red & blotchy. She was very upset. I gave her some piriton but DD was unable to go to her friend's party in the PM as she was so itchy & upset.
I rang the cafe to get a list of ingredients as she'd reacted so badly & they told me it had milk in!
They were apologetic & said if we wanted to come back they'd make sure DD got a free dairy free treat but today I feel really annoyed that DD had to put up with some major itchiness & miss out on a party & her day was essentially ruined because of their mistake.
I don't want to give them a slating on Tripadvisor or anything but don't feel very happy about all this on reflection.... WWYD?

Soup Thanks for that. Don't know why they are doing that and clearly makes life more difficult for those with an intolerance when a product has an ingredient (albeit, I suspect, in a tiny, tiny level) that is completely unnecessary and shouldn't be there.

It's quite possible that the manufacturing site uses dairy for other products and doesn't have the facilities to have seperate areas. They then include a small amount of dairy in the sorbet so it shows up on the ingredient list in case of customers with allergies.

It's lazy but cheaper than having allergen free areas.

The thing is, if someone has such a strong reaction to an ingredient in any other ice cream favour on display it is unlikely to be safe to eat the 'allergen-free' flavour.

Even if you get them to use a clean scoop for your portion, all previous portions will have been served using a vaguely rinsed scoop so the tub will be tainted. Asking for a portion from a new tub with a clean spoon would be the only really safe option.

My daughter has a metabolic condition (galactosaemia) which means any milk whether it's human or cow or horse, doesn't matter, it will literally kill her.
We had a trip to costa and I made it clear that she needed a SOY babychino as a matter or life or death...

It was a good thing I was watching him make it, because I saw him try to add regular frothed milk to her drink.

I never trust anywhere, I insist on watching them make drinks and speak to managers, look at ingredients lists etc.

Sorry you had to be served by a bunch of idiots

Soup I collared a very important looking member of staff in Waitrose (staff were all kow-towing to him) and complained that so many Waitrose-own products contained completely unnecessary allergens like wheat when other companies - the Co-op for example - are working to reduce them. He was astonished, came with me to the ice cream freezer for me to demonstrate, and promised to feed it back.

By law, establishments need to know which of the 16 listed allergens are present in everything they serve.
An "oops, have a freebie on negligible value" does not it it.
Environmental health may be the way to go if they can't get themselves organised enough to know their liabilities.

Itchy after a couple of mouthfuls? Thats not diet affected eczema, is it?

Wow. I would have naturally made the assumption that sorbet would be ok for dairy allergies. I guess if you don't have to deal with it you don't know.

My cousins daughter and boyfriend are dairy allergic. We had dinner with them (at our place) and I cooked vegan curry all good so far. About half an hour after dinner the boyf stated feeling ill and blamed me for using cream in the curry sauce. I'd used coconut milk which I'd been assured was ok.

Turns out it wasn't the food which id checked but the wine. Trace amounts of milk in wine. God knows why. I don't know if it's in all though.

Point is. I'm way more careful now. And am actually looking after the little one in a few weekends. Had planned on a beach trip with icecream/sorbet. Will make triple sure re sorbet.

Maybe it's trading standards not environmenal health.

I'm think it's Environmemtal Health not trading standards and not the Food Standards Agency. It's a food safety issue and the local Environmemtal Health Officers would deal with it. (Food Standards Agency is a national government organisation whereas Environmemtal Health adepts are local government)

Even if I'm wrong I'm sure they will be happy to Point you in the right direction.

The other point id like to raise is the lack of dairy free options at ice cream places.

Would it kill them to have a tub of dairy free chocolate and vanilla ice cream, so that the thousands of children who cannot consume dairy, can enjoy an ice cream too, and so that the parents don't have to deal with a massive meltdown and/or deny their dairy eating kids the luxury!!.

My daughter is 4 1/2 and due to her age/learning difficulties, just about copes with having an ice lolly or a lemon sorbet, while other children have a whippet, but it's only a matter of time before she starts to feel segregated from her peers.

Id also like to see some of the chocolate companies or even alpro, start introducing some tasty not necessarily healthy treats as well.
Currently you can get treats for non dairy people, but they're aimed at adults. It would be nice if I didn't have to wash out a frube and inject with soy yogurt, for my daughter.

Whippy not whippet

It's not as simple as that, you can't just throw in a dairy free box. You'd need it to be kept separately, use completely different implements, all kinds of things to avoid cross contamination. It's a major arse doing it properly, its generally not worth it.

@ShatnersWig my dd reacts to the 0.01% of milk powder in "fries" served in a cafe labelled as fries, although to all intents and purposes they looked like chunks of fried potato with no visible coating and as she asked for chips, we assumed that's what they were. Our mistake.

Milk in all its guises lurks in some totally unexpected places. Have a look at the crisps and snacks aisle next time you have a few minutes and browse the ingredients of a random selection of snacks, then do the same in the cooked meat aisles, particularly but by no means exclusively the ham and turkey ranges. At a deli counter, they have a lot of info in the ingredients in their hand-sliced cooked meats, either in a separate book or on the side of the labels the staff can easily see.

The other point id like to raise is the lack of dairy free options at ice cream places

I have been known to take a tub of Swedish Glacé Vanilla* to one of these places and to restaurants and told them they can keep what's left if they would be kind enough to serve my dd a portion from it using a clean spoon, and I'd pay for it too.

*That was until they changed the recipe, she doesn't like the new one so does without. None of the fruit or choc options are suitable for her.

Itchy after a couple of mouthfuls? Thats not diet affected eczema, is it?

This is a good point OP, it sounds more like an allergic reaction rather than just eczema.

I also agree with those saying report them to environmental health. They do need a good strong kick up their arse. If you think it's being mean, it's for their sake as much as their customers.

@ememem84 the milk in the wine will be from the finings used to settle the sediment. Sometimes fish is used too. Or egg.

Thanks soupdragon ofr posting those pics. Carte D'Or, Movenpick and Carrefour's own all had milk in the sorbets.

ShatnersWig Both my friend and I were surprised too. I ended up making her a batch of sorbet without milk.

My friend's husband died because of a food allergy.

They should have done food allergy training. It's free and available online. You get a certificate to print it.

I have coeliac, so many times this happens. You ask if something's gluten free, they say yes....I'm I'll. Generally I stick to chain type cafes or restaurants because they generally are better and more careful.

Tbh I would kick up a fuss....so it won't happen to someone else! X

You asked them to check info that they should know off the top of their head! My kids thankfully don't suffer with allergies but know many who do, so not uncommon to be asked! Trading standards seems extreme, but a free 'treat' too little! I think you need to have a chat and show them how your daughter suffered at their negligence, reminding them next time someone may go to trading standards

YANBU it's completely irresponsible of them. I would be very angry with them. Their neglect or couldn't be bothered could of resulted in death. I think a free shake is not good enough. They need to ensure that this will categorically never happen again to any any customer who declares allergies.

Milk products in cold sliced ham/chicken/etc caught me out at first. Plus things like Jammy Dodgers for instance, they do a mini pack version, and the original sized ones. One was DF and one was not, wtf.

And that's without coping with "new and improved" recipe changes

YANBU...
What if the potential reaction to ingredients could have hospitalised her?
It's rather irresponsible of the cafe to not have a thorough check of the ingredients .
When you rang them they could confirm the food contained milk so the information is blatently to hand .
Hopefully this cafe learns lessons from this.
Wishing your little one a speedy recovery x

YADNBU. I would report this to environmental health this

It beggars belief how casual some cafe/restaurant staff can be sometimes. I'm allergic to celery. Not life threatening, but it's pretty unpleasant for me (and fellow diners). But I've had celery just 'removed' from green salad (I can tell), or it's used in soup base. I ask, and am assured it isn't there, but it frequently is.

It's like they just don't get how serious an allergy can be. You should be able to trust staff when they say something is dairy free. Sadly, you can't.

Just seen how many people have responded to this thread today!
I told some work colleagues today & they all agreed I should report to local council/environmental health.
I will email tonight.
Thanks all for helping me to take this seriously. What if another child went to this cafe & wasn't so resilient?