AIBU to be really pissed off with this Cafe?

[mermaidofthewestside]

Morning MN
Went to a cafe yesterday with friends. My daughter has eczema & dairy products really affect her skin. She has not had any in 4 years.
Where I live there are a lot of places that do vegan/dairy free options & dairy free ice-cream is pretty normal everywhere.
They had one dairy free sorbet & I made it really clear that DD couldn't have dairy & asked him to check the cones were dairy free too.
After a few mouthfuls DD became upset & said she didn't want the sorbet & became very itchy. I put it down to tiredness because I didn't want to re-question the cafe staff & our friends had paid & it was quite a small place, so I did that 'don't-want-to-cause-a-scene thing & took DD home. By the time we got home 15 mins later her whole face had blistered & her torso was red & blotchy. She was very upset. I gave her some piriton but DD was unable to go to her friend's party in the PM as she was so itchy & upset.
I rang the cafe to get a list of ingredients as she'd reacted so badly & they told me it had milk in!
They were apologetic & said if we wanted to come back they'd make sure DD got a free dairy free treat but today I feel really annoyed that DD had to put up with some major itchiness & miss out on a party & her day was essentially ruined because of their mistake.
I don't want to give them a slating on Tripadvisor or anything but don't feel very happy about all this on reflection.... WWYD?

I work in a restaurant and we have to hand over the list of allergens to the customers if they ask what the food contains. We're not allowed to advise one way or another. Pretty much in case this happens I think. I think you should report them in this instance so they can be trained on this issue.
In future, ask for the ingredients list just to make sure, although it's hassle at the time it will make life easier later.

I can't believe how many posters are giving the OP a kicking for not standing over the staff while they checked the ingredients list - how many of you would actually do this??

OP has explained that she asked TWICE, that's more than enough. The staff of an eating establishment should by law be aware of the allergens present in the good they serve. Allergies can kill, offering a free treat is fine but they really need to review their processes to ensure this doesn't happen again (the next customer might be much more seriously affected).

Your poor daughter. It's so upsetting to miss a party at that age! And very upsetting for you. I echo those that are saying to report it to the appropriate authorities mentioned above, that's the level it needs to be dealt with it at simply to prevent recurrence at the cafe. Hope she's feeling better this morning.

I'm shocked at the number of posters telling the OP she is being unreasonable! The cafe held out their sorbet as being dairy free and the OP double-checked this at the time of her purchase. It's the cafe's responsibility to be accurate about how they advertise their products, especially when specifically asked to check.

This is a very serious failure by the cafe and I wouldn't consider an apology and an offer of a free sorbet next time adequate. They need to have procedures in place to make sure this doesn't happen again, so I think the OP should report the incident.

Some people are minimising this because they clearly don't have children with allergies! As a mum of a child with the same allergy I can assure you that what you did was adequate. Also they shouldn't get away with just apologising, they need to learn and possibly haven't done any good traisich as HASSAP of food safety & allergy training.

Would pps be saying they same thing if it was nuts... no they bloody wouldn't. Call into the cafe or call the council, it's just not acceptable in today's society that this isn't taken seriously.

Poor DD 💐

OP has explained that she asked TWICE

I dont think she did, she asked if the cone was dairy free and trusted that the dairy free sorbet was dairy free.

Which is irrelevant really as they still shouldn't have missed the milk I notice the cone.

YANBU and agree with pps about contacting relevant authority to complain so staff get trained. People can die of this.

OP please do put a review on trip advisor. My daughter has similar allergies and if we're going to a new place we always check out the reviews of cafes. I'd definitely want to know so I could avoid somewhere that behaved like this.

Sorbet technically contains water, fruit juice and sugar, I've never heard of sorbet being made with milk at all, (misses point).
One of my DC has a serious nut allergy, I always ask the staff and take their word for it. They are legally obliged to be aware of these things.
I would definitely get in touch with the cafe again and explain the seriousness of this and inform the appropriate regulator.

I would report as well

Its a training issue in my opinion

I went to a chain restaurant, think it was nandos, with a friend who needs gluten free. They had a book with all the meals and allergens. So does our local pub

If you knew your daughter was adverse to dairy YOU should have checked the ingredients
She did, she communicated that her dd had a dairy allergy, she asked it was dairy free. They said yes.
If they didn't know they should have said so
Absolutely report op you did enough to insure it ok for dd to it, the. Next time it might be life threatening

The main thing here is that there is an eating establishment where the process for protecting customers with allergies is not effective. That's both dangerous and illegal.

OP, please make the cafe aware of what has happened, and ask what they are going to change as a consequence. It's not about being angry or making a fuss - and it's certainly not about whether or not you could or should have done anything differently; it's about helping to ensure that what happened to your daughter (or something even worse) doesn't happen to anyone else.

I'm sorry your child experienced this.

YANBU
When I worked at a Deli and a customer would ask if it was gluten free, dairy free etc I would check the book for them. I cannot remember a customer ever asking to see the book for themselves.

Personally I would warn other people on Tripadvisor

You asked if the ice-cream and cone were dairy-free. They confirmed.

I do not believe in complaining over cross-contamination - these things happen. But this was a case of the actual allergens being listed ingredients and the staff misleading you. This warrants further action - their response is inadequate.

As a minimum, the cafe should have apologised, said they would immediately remove the "dairy-free" declaration from their menu and retrain staff accordingly. They should have told you how they were going to stop other people from having allergic reactions and instead they offered you a free ice cream. Talk about minimising the problem - if someone with a severe dairy allergy had been served the dairy-free ice cream, they could have ended up on a manslaughter charge.

I would absolutely post this on Trip Advisor and contact an official body. I'm not sure where to start, but I would try the FSA in the first instance - this is really serious and could save a life.

If I asked about nuts and my dish was contaminated and I went into anaphylaxis, I wouldn't complain. If I asked about nuts and my dish had ground almonds it and I went into anaphylaxis, you bet I would be creating merry hell.

Should say that in nandos they gave the book to my friend without her asking

Which I thought was good as you might not know that there was such a thing

It's safest to ask to read the list of ingredients yourself, if all the staff are looking for is "milk" or "dairy" on a label, they'll likely not spot whey, casein, lactose etc. unless they specifically know what those ingredients are.

Milk in its various forms in so may things you'd not think to look for, like bread, fries, cooked meats especially chicken, turkey and ham, some flavoured nuts, loads of crisps, biscuits and snacks.

I was at a food festival a while back, and there was a stall selling a selection of what it claimed were 'gluten free' brownies. One batch was topped with Smarties - which are not gluten free. I happen to know this; a newly-diagnosed coeliac might not. Obviously, I didn't buy them for my son, but I also made sure the stall owner was informed of the mistake. It is NOT the customer's responsibility to be aware of what might contain allergens - it is, legally the responsibility of the person selling the food.

Sorbet doesn't contain any dairy it's a mix of water, sugar and pureed fruit/flavouring.

Yanbu. Places serving food have a responsibility to give accurate information about ingredients. What if you were buying a cooked dish - would you be expected to go through the packet of every ingredient? If they aren't sure they should say. My son has allergies and cafes have refused to serve things if they aren't sure rather than take the risk. I would rather that than someone guessing.

Can't believe anyone is giving the op a hard time for this. It is legally the food sellers responsibility to know their food. Next time someone could die. Trading standards Monday.

I also think you should put it on TripAdvisor and Facebook so they have the chance to reply
If they reply to your post then screen shot it and send it to trading standards as evidence, in case the cafe deny the event happened or remove the post

Follow up your phonecall by asking about what procedures they have put in place to prevent it happening again. I think perhaps it would be good to report it to whoever inspects these places, it is a serious incident. As pp indicated, for someone with anaphylaxis it could have been (and in recent legal cases has been) fatal.

An apology and a replacement is not good enough given the suffering caused. The more fuss you cause, the less likely they are to repeat the mistake?

That much reaction after a few mouthfuls of something that at most is very low in dairy -- doesn't sound like mere eczema. I reckon your DD's condition has escalated to something approaching full blow allergy with potential anaphylactic implications. PDQ I'd get medical advice about how to treat it as such.