Colleague cancelled on a volunteering event - WWYD

[MsJamieFraser]

I am supposed to be volunteering at an event today (crowd control and afterwards to the VIP bash) my colleague sent a text message dusting the night to say that he is now not coming.

I am bloody furious with this as it leaves me in a tricky position, I said I would attend as he really wanted to go however did not want to go alone, I was supposed to be attending a christening today which I cancelled due to the event.

It also leaves me in a tricky situation with my friends company (they wrote to me asking if I had any colleagues wanting to help out) as they could not attend as they had another plans, that could not be rescheduled.

I don't want to attend this event by myself, as public transport is limited and roads are closed (due to the event) it will also take me an hour to get there, I just don't fancy attending this event alone and also doing it by myself.

I had a funny feeling he was going to do this as I over heard him saying he was going to cancel on Friday to another colleague however when I asked him he said he was talking about something else

I only agreed as he begged me to attend with him.

However I feel bloody bad on the event organisers and that's what's stopping me from cancelling even tho I really don't want to attend.

My dh and friends can't come with me as they are all at the christening.

WWYD

Well done op. I bet you enjoy it.

bakingaddict she wasn't appeasing an employee, she thought as her employee wanted to volunteer she may as well help her friend out as well. You can run a business and also want to help your friends, and end up in tricky situations without it making you professionally incompetent!

It may also surprise you to find out you can read posts that give you a small snapshot of someone's life without the need to jump to negative conclusions about them.

There is no bloody inconsistencies! People asked me questions and I answered, some people have even stated I have said things that I have not...

Someone was confused as to how I was involved in this event, thats when I mentioned my organisation, because I was ASKED!

Should I have to give a detailed low down of my day! Here I thought I was just asking if I was BU to or attend the day as I did not want to attend alone.

So currently I'm waiting for the 10.30 bus.
On my first and 2nd post I stated I had to get their by public transport as dh needs the car. I still didn't think I needed to say I couldn't drive, as I had mentioned i had to use public transport!

Someone then asked if dh can get a lift and I said he could, however would still need the car seats. I'm not in the habit of disclosing my medical conditions on the net!

Dh will be leaving the house at 10.45 for the football game, christening is late this afternoon, do you actually want to see the bloody invitation?!!!

I have never once said the christening and the football game is at the same time!! NOT ONCE!

If it was an away game we would have been away for the whole day, not just a few hours, as ds can be all over England for games, he's an academy player!

I'm not in the habit of disclosing that I can't drive due my medical condition, it was also irrelevant as I said in my OP I would have to get the BUS!

Me running my business has frankly got fuck all of I want to attend an event alone or not!

It's by the by as I'm waiting for the bus, so go ahead and report the bloody thread, I will also.

This place actually disgusts me at times, so because I don't want to attend an event alone, I'm unprofessional, thick, and now a liar!

Bloody pathetic!

What a pain in the arse for you.

I absolutely hate it when I bend over backwards for someone because they REALLY want to do something then they flake out.

Your whole day has been planned around this bloody colleague. I really feel sorry for you. Unfortunately to have the moral high ground you still need to go, which I think you know anyway, plus doesn't sound like you're the letting down sort.

Hope it's not as bad as you think.. and some frost & distance between your colleague needed going forward, I reckon.

Sorry OP.. cross posted and read some of the other posts.

You're quite right... MN is a parallel universe the majority of the time x

Hope you enjoy the event OP. Hope you roast your colleague for letting you down last minute!

I think that by saying you don't have use of your car because your dh needs it does rather imply that you would have taken it if your dh didn't need it. I know I'm being drawn into pedantry but to save confusion you could have said my dh can't take me in our car because (insert reason) or just that you will have to catch the bus without any reference to a car you own being an option. You don't have to tell the internet there is a medical reason why you can't drive, a simple I can't / don't drive is an easy answer.

I think people are surprised that someone so senior in an organisation as to have thousands of people working under her would be let down by a junior colleague in this way. If your colleague is only slightly junior to you it seems unusual that someone in such a senior position in a very large organisation would be so unreliable. Alternatively, if your colleague is significantly junior to you it seems surprising that he has let a very senior colleague down so badly at short notice. If your colleague is several layers down your organisation it also seems surprising that you share social media with him.

Finally, it does seem odd that an extremely senior staff member would be 'begged' by a junior to join them at an event, or be influenced enough by a junior to cancel attending a christening, "I was supposed to be attending a christening today which I cancelled due to the event.".

NMW stands for National Ninimum Wage for those that the acronym is new to

Yes, the above post means I am on NMW Blinky laughable

For anyone who cares... and it's bloody outing!

I was a social worker, (CPU) my ds2 had a vile accident in which he was set on fire along with my dh, MN gave me wonderful support and even raised money for my son support charity

I then got PTSD in which I had to give up my career, I then worked in bars and clubs while I retained in property development (those where stressful jobs).

In the mean time dh bio father died and he alongside his sister inherited the organisation, in which I took over as a senior member of staff. (I am degree educated in this) if you have a look at my previous posts, we have wonderful people working for us and a board that supports us. I have never claimed to be anyone other than a member of senior staff. Dh has always worked for the organisation and has a masters degree in his field, once he knew his dad was poorly he started of as an apprentice in his organisation.

If you have a look at my posts I have never climed to be anyone I am not other than a senior member of staff.

So pick holes away at your disposal, spread your untruth accusations.

You know what I don't care, I am not uneducated, I am not unprofessional and I am not a liar!

I am simply just being me.

For anyone who cares, I had a fab time, I got to meet some amazing people from all walks of life, and nipped an armed policemans arse

I know you

Glad you had a good time, OP. Sorry you had to do such a long and unnecessary explanation! People can be strange and get hung up over the strangest details. Clearly, unless you get someone else to edit your post for possible misunderstandings before sending, then you shouldn't be allowed to post!

It's not odd at all. Colleague won't see it as work related, just a favour/perk he doesn't fancy doing anymore.
Loads of people separate work and personal life - bet he's shocked you're cross on Monday.

Alright OP!

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through

I know you do SPB and I will be forever grateful for what you did for me/us back then.

Even if this outs us, we have nothing to be worried about, we lead very simple lives, our boys are our life and we work hard to provide for them, all our spare time is devoted to our kids.

I don't remember doing anything at all, sure many other lovely mners did.
I do remember you live nearby though x

Bloody hell Jamie I had no idea you had been through all that

This colleugue made a commitment to do something and then went out on the lash the night before.

If he cant handle his booze and/or hangover then he shouldnt have made the commitment in the first place.

If this had been about a drunk DH still in bed and not doing his fair share of weekend childcare the answers would have been very different.

Glad you had a good time OP.

SPB, have you recently moved to my neck of the woods? (In the last 2 - 3 years)... was our sons in the same class?

You may have to email me...

And yes SPB you did, when ds had his accident, I printed all the comments out and we got them made into a book we got made for him.

One day we will have to explain his scars, he's knows he has scars and he knows he had an awful injury involving fire, (specifically a BBQ) however we haven't fully explained it to him, if the time comes or when we feel he's being insecure about his body we will show him his book, and you fratburenin his book along side many other wonderful posters.

At the time I wanted my life to end, you guys made me seek the hospital psychologist, and an amazing woman she was.

On another note , Colleague still hasn't text me however I seen his room mate today at the event, he was very drunk last night, I've asked his room mate not to say he had seen me today

So glad you had a fab day.

I'd be utterly fuming at your colleague, what an arse!

I do remember your DS accident , I'm so glad you're all in a better place these days.

To answer pickle I'd love to be coherent in my writing ability, my word it would make my/our life so much easier

I cannot, no matter how hard I try to understand or what aids and adaptions I use, English writing just by passes me.

I'm degree educated,not bad for someone whose thick however my writing ability has always lacked, ive paid for private tutoring, I've had assistive technology tutoring, I've tried the nessy approach, and had dyslexia action intervention, unless I have a tutor with me 24/7... I will always be lacking.

My dyslexia also affects by verbal communication, I can communicate as well as anyone else, however st times the words get stuck, and I cannot get them passed my tongue , so at times I'm literally stuck in the middle of a conversation, however I have developed coping mechanism for this.

I can spell challenging words, but simple words I struggle with, I often mistake of, for if, or "soon"for "that" which I get incorrect in the grammatical way. (I hope I am explaining this well)

I really struggle with English writing, I'm told my iQ is high yet I don't test well academically in writing, however practically I succeed very well.

I know the meaning of words, the way worlds should be grammatically, however I can't do that on paper. I cannot visually see that the word I have written is incorrect.

I also cannot see world that are grammatically incorrect as these words are very similar to each other so I visibly cannot see my errors, even if they are misspelled also. (Although I do have a spell checker)

I've been told I have surface dyslexia however with visual and auditory deficits, Whixh as I'm told, translates to complex dyslexia.

Fuck me jamie it's ridiculous the lengths you've had to go to explain yourself on a simple WIBU to not go to an event thread.

I'm sorry to read about what your family has been through.

Also glad you went today and had a good time. Isn't it just the way when you're not really in the mood for something you end up having loads of fun.

Jamie, my post was supposed to sound supportive, not critical! Sorry!
I had no idea from your posts that you have any difficulties with writing or self expression.
My comment was supposed to be a criticism of people who kept unnecessarily challenging your story!

Mrs JF
You really don't have to explain yourself to people, some people nitpick for the sake of it.
I remember you posting when the accident happened. You sound like you've come a long way since then

You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You've come across very well to me. I didn't think YABU either.

Some people are twats.

OP I understood your posts perfectly. You sound like you've been dealt a very difficult hand and have come out the other end. Glad you enjoyed it. Come back and let us know how it went with the letter-downer colleague if you get a chance x