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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To seriously hate that when you differ in opinions, you get accused of not having kids!

145 replies

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 17:51

Ok so just that basically, I am so fucking tired of being told I "must not have children" because my opinion just happens to be different to theirs. Or for example, walking down the town today, a woman with a buggy nearly clips my heel I'm not bothered as I was crossing the street in front of her and went a bit diaganol to get to where I needed to, she looks at me and gives me an awful stare, so I question her as to what she's looking at. I say "why are you looking at me like that?" She replies she was looking into the shop next to me Hmm yet our eyes locked? So I said to her sure oh we're and went to carry on, her response "how can you talk to a woman with a child like that!" I said I do have two kids myself, she accused me of lying and said I wouldn't speak like that to her if I did, Confused. So I said to her, just because you have a child with you does not mean I won't confront you if you give me a dirty look, just to clarify I would never start a fight in front of a child etc in fact I don't actually have fights and never have done, but I won't take a dirty look and not question it especially when she practically rammed her pram up the path at the crossing when there was no need as the lights were green.

Sorry for the rant but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that hates being told they mustn't have kids because an opinion differs or I handle something differently to themselves.

OP posts:
user1493022461 · 05/05/2017 19:39

chloe is explaining things so much better than me

She's really not.

I did not challenge anyone about a pram at all

I was being generous, but if you insist on accuracy it's even worse that you started an argument with someone for looking at you.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 19:39

I can't stress enough how important it is to please read what I have written before commenting, I do not like when people make things up and I am having to defend myself from comments aimed at something I haven't done.

OP posts:
user1493022461 · 05/05/2017 19:40

We've read what you wrote. Why aren't you engaging with what people are saying about what you yourself say you did?

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 19:41

Like I said I shall leave it here and I have learned a lot from you all, I shall keep my head down when I am out of the house and carry on as normal and ignore future looks, this is the first dirty look I have had in years and I don't expect anymore for a while. Thank you for all your help.

OP posts:
MissBax · 05/05/2017 19:41

I think you need to accept defeat on this one OP. You've had people's opinions, you don't like it, end of discussion really.

upperlimit · 05/05/2017 19:41

I think you need to read this thread back when you feel less close to the situation. You are feeling got at but you are missing the fact that you feel victimised by a situation you inflamed and you could avoid that if you change your behaviour.

SmhShakingMyHead · 05/05/2017 19:41

OP don't listen to the people hell bent on insulting you. You're in that typical AIBU situation where whatever you say will be wrong.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 19:41

I'm afraid I don't understand that comment user, but no need to explain yourself as I am leaving the thread.

OP posts:
DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 19:42

I don't believe I had dismissed anything, I have admitted to being in the wrong.

OP posts:
DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 19:43

I think I am smh I've said my piece and I've took on the advice given I now plan to tuck the wee ones into bed and get myself that cup of tea.

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 05/05/2017 19:44

MissBax I'm choosing to believe the OP when she says she got a dirty look.

I got a dirty look at the airport the other day, simply because I asked my DH whether we should join the shorter check-in queue. I must have broken some sacred queue jumping rule because the woman looked at me like I had sinned against humanity. I very nearly asked her why she was looking at me, as I'm not great at withering looks.

McTufty · 05/05/2017 19:46

I despise anyone who implies I have a lesser understanding of life or a less valid opinion about something because I don't have children. I wouldn't have taken her to task the way you did and I think you were in the wrong for causing a confrontation but it was a dickish comment for her to make.

user1493022461 · 05/05/2017 19:48

I despise anyone who implies I have a lesser understanding of life or a less valid opinion about something because I don't have children

Despise is an oddly strong word. And what when the thing you have an opinion on is about parenting, or something else you have no experience of. Sometimes it's accurate, though its generally rude to say so.

upperlimit · 05/05/2017 19:53

I think some people without children have enough of a pragmatic attitude, empathy and experience with children to have perfectly valid and useful opinion on parenting and others consider parenting from an aloof and uncompromising academic perspective - these people tend to get short shrift.

McTufty · 05/05/2017 19:54

user

Well ok fair enough I despise it when people who might otherwise be lovely people make the comment to me (and I have never told someone how to parent their child). I would dearly love to have children and I find it upsetting.

Winifredgoose · 05/05/2017 20:07

I have only read the first couple of pages of this thread, but have never been so shocked at how bullying people on Mumsnet can be. It is obvious from the ops responses she is not a nasty person, and her antagonistic behaviour/ misplaced aggression came from social anxiety/misreading the situation. Op, I have no idea what kind of people sit at home telling you in such an aggressive way, that you are aggressive.
What you have written reminds me of my mum. She often says things like she will never leave the house again, as she is sick of people misinterpreting her. She often reacts to neutral/slightly negative comments with aggression, as her self esteem is so low she assumes the worst intention. She doesn't have aspergers, but has very low self esteem and social anxiety. If you feel like you don't want to leave your house/want to avoid people, maybe you should try and find out why. Flowers

PaintingByNumbers · 05/05/2017 20:18

enjoy your evening op, and that cup of tea

Figaro2017 · 05/05/2017 20:29

Wow! These sort of pile ons are normally reserved for men!

ShowMePotatoSalad · 05/05/2017 20:32

She wasn't "accusing" you of not having kids, she was questioning why you would be so confrontational towards her in front of her children.

upperlimit · 05/05/2017 20:34

Pile on? Hmm

Fine. If you like.

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