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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To seriously hate that when you differ in opinions, you get accused of not having kids!

145 replies

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 17:51

Ok so just that basically, I am so fucking tired of being told I "must not have children" because my opinion just happens to be different to theirs. Or for example, walking down the town today, a woman with a buggy nearly clips my heel I'm not bothered as I was crossing the street in front of her and went a bit diaganol to get to where I needed to, she looks at me and gives me an awful stare, so I question her as to what she's looking at. I say "why are you looking at me like that?" She replies she was looking into the shop next to me Hmm yet our eyes locked? So I said to her sure oh we're and went to carry on, her response "how can you talk to a woman with a child like that!" I said I do have two kids myself, she accused me of lying and said I wouldn't speak like that to her if I did, Confused. So I said to her, just because you have a child with you does not mean I won't confront you if you give me a dirty look, just to clarify I would never start a fight in front of a child etc in fact I don't actually have fights and never have done, but I won't take a dirty look and not question it especially when she practically rammed her pram up the path at the crossing when there was no need as the lights were green.

Sorry for the rant but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that hates being told they mustn't have kids because an opinion differs or I handle something differently to themselves.

OP posts:
Ameliablue · 05/05/2017 18:17

Your op isn't a good example of people assuming you don't have children because of your opinions as it just sounds as if you started the argument.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:17

This has never happened before Confused

The comments online have. I've clearly said the woman today reminded me of Jose comments that I have gotten and seen others get, I didn't say that what happened today with the woman has ever happened before.

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DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:18

Those*

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Wolfiefan · 05/05/2017 18:18

I must admit it's not a thing I've noticed OP. The only people I can imagine being told they can't have children are people who have truly daft ideas on child raising or the classic "well I would never..."
It's easy to say you would never ever raise your voice etc etc. when you haven't been doing the relentless job that is parenting for years!

Astro55 · 05/05/2017 18:18

So you have to 'win' every argument? You have to be right all the time? What are you winning exactly?

You're certainly not going to win a kindness award -

Why not try and make someone's day instead?

Smile knowingly and walk on? Why cause misery and contempt?

eurochick · 05/05/2017 18:19

You sound unnecessarily confrontational.

hazeyjane · 05/05/2017 18:20

I'm completely confused.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:20

I haven't said that I want any of that. I'm regretting this thread, I didn't realise what it feels like to have someone twist your words. I don't see poeople a lot. My world consists of me my partner our children and my mum occasionally. I'm not sure how you are accusing me of things that you would have no idea about.

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Donthate · 05/05/2017 18:21

This reminds me of a women with a buggy who once said to the teenage me "what are you looking at? Have I got a tampon on my head?"

Next time just shoot a filthy look back. Life is too short to start arguments in the street. It never ends well.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:21

Ok so from what I'm reading, it's ok for someone to give a dirty look but not for someone else to question why? If that's the case fair enough, lesson learned.

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DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:23

Thanks for the advice dont I think from now on I'll just go about my day, I usually just keep to myself and smile at the odd person I link eyes with but I think from now on I'll walk with my head down and just keep away from any confrontation.

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upperlimit · 05/05/2017 18:23

I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just saying I've only seen it when people have been rigid in their opinions. I think she said it to you today because you caught her on the hop and she went for the jugular.

PaintingByNumbers · 05/05/2017 18:23

do you tend to take things very literally, op? and always see the worst motives in others?

PaintingByNumbers · 05/05/2017 18:24

and yes, its not typical to react to 'a dirty look' by starting a row

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:25

Fair enough. I don't think the opinions I've had would warrant people thinking I don't have kids. However I can see where you are coming from and I'll continue to just ignore it and simply state that I do have two children and move on.

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LavenderDoll · 05/05/2017 18:26

I would keep you head down and avoid interaction OP
She probably stared at you as you cut her up by walking diagonally
You knew why she was staring so no need to start with her.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:26

No planting I don't I actually tend to be a bit gullible or too believing. I've been in very dangerous situations due to trusting people too much.

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Astro55 · 05/05/2017 18:26

A dirty look isn't a crime!

She didn't pull a knife or threaten you -

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:26

I didn't cut her up though. Maybe I'm not explains myself well.

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DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:27

I didn't say it was a crime, why would you say that?

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DontTouchTheMoustache · 05/05/2017 18:28

The thing with the example you give is that you turn to a woman and ask her what she is looking at but where I'm from that's a very aggressive thing to say and usually the precurser to physical violence (thems fightin' words). Possibly that is because I'm from a rather rough part of the North mind...
Anyway my point is that if she interpreted it in this way she may have actually been quite intimidated and that's where her comment comes from as she is saying she would never threaten another woman who had a child with them.
I'm not saying that is what your general point is, just that this example doesn't really fit with the point you were making.

MamaHanji · 05/05/2017 18:28

You sound antagonistic. She looked at you. Get over it. You confronted her, she tried to brush it off, you pushed. What are you expecting?

This is like the woman who swore abuse at the cashier in Aldi because she looked at her with 'pure loathing and hatred'.

FrenchLavender · 05/05/2017 18:29

Anyone who starts ranting about being given 'dirty looks' is usually a skanky nutter.

HTH.

DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:30

You do make a lot of sense donttouch maybe she genuinely took it to mean a threat, in that case I feel awful and hope I haven't worried her. I've never had a fight since primary school I wouldn't even know what to do Blush

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DontPullThatTubeOut · 05/05/2017 18:31

I don't appreciate the insults as I haven't given them to anyone else french

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