To seriously hate that when you differ in opinions, you get accused of not having kids!

[DontPullThatTubeOut]

Ok so just that basically, I am so fucking tired of being told I "must not have children" because my opinion just happens to be different to theirs. Or for example, walking down the town today, a woman with a buggy nearly clips my heel I'm not bothered as I was crossing the street in front of her and went a bit diaganol to get to where I needed to, she looks at me and gives me an awful stare, so I question her as to what she's looking at. I say "why are you looking at me like that?" She replies she was looking into the shop next to me yet our eyes locked? So I said to her sure oh we're and went to carry on, her response "how can you talk to a woman with a child like that!" I said I do have two kids myself, she accused me of lying and said I wouldn't speak like that to her if I did, . So I said to her, just because you have a child with you does not mean I won't confront you if you give me a dirty look, just to clarify I would never start a fight in front of a child etc in fact I don't actually have fights and never have done, but I won't take a dirty look and not question it especially when she practically rammed her pram up the path at the crossing when there was no need as the lights were green.

Sorry for the rant but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that hates being told they mustn't have kids because an opinion differs or I handle something differently to themselves.

Okay so having read the OP again it seems that she gave you a bit of a look because you cut across her path whiles was wheeling the buggy. I doubt it was personal, just a bit of an eye-roll over a minor irritation while trying to navigate the crowds on the pavement. There was really no need for you to turn it into a confrontation was there?

I believe that she made the assumption that you wouldn't dare start an argument, with her having DC in tow, if you had children.

Not entirely sure why having children makes any difference. In the future don't engage, saves for unwanted accusations.

You say the woman 'almost' clipped your heel. So, in other words, she didn't.

To be fair, a lot of people are aggressive with their buggies. You can tell the difference between someone simply pushing their buggy to get somewhere and someone else determined to use it to scare people out of their way, like some battering ram.

salmon I am far from that type of person I honestly hate parental snobbery, I believe we all have our ways of doing things and nothing is black and white when it comes to children, I have a difficult but at other Ines very pleasant 3 year old and a very delayed 2 year old, so I understand well that some things work for others but maybe not for me and vice versa.

sorry op, its not an internet diagnosis, its just the conversation reminded me of chats with my sister. she has aspergers and often seems to end up in situations like this but is the loveliest person ever. I just wondered if it was something like that.

No one has ever made that assumption about me. Maybe it happens to you because you sound pretty fucking chopsy?

Because looks may not be directed at anyone or anything. They can be an almost involuntary response to internal feelings and conflict and you just happened to catch her eye at an bad moment.

Yes, exactly that. Someone who chooses to seize on that brief look and make a big deal out of it, convinced that it's personal and that person has it in for them, is like I said, probably a bit of a skanky nutter.

Well, what have you been saying to people to make them assume you don't have kids?!

The way you acted today was aggressive, confrontational and rough. She questioned why you would intimidate a woman in sole charge of a child. And she was right to.

I'm not liking the insults at all. I think I may leave the thread. I am so sorry for upsetting any one or making anyone angry at me. Please no more insults I don't like them and I don't tend to give them out. But your opinions are yours and I accept them I'd just rather not read them anymore.

painting I don't believe I have asperers although things like eye contact and general meeting people etc I get cripplingly shy, I have severe anxiety and depression so maybe that's what comes through in my posts.

OP, is there a specific reason why you don't leave the house much?

MrsDusty I don't have any friends so I don't have much need to leave the house. I also have gotten used to being in my house when my second came home as she couldn't be around crowds and the wind would affect her breathing so I chose to stay in. I think I've just become used to it now.

It is boggling my mind that someone with severe anxiety and depression who struggles with eye contact would confront someone in the street so aggressively over such a minor/imagined misdemeanour.

What you say and what you did don't seem to match up.

If you have anxiety and depression it seems possible that you may have over reacted to something that most would shrug off. Would you think that may be possible?

At the very most I would have returned the 'dirty look' there is no way I'd confront someone with a child in a buggy even if I felt justified. Just seems wrong to me. I would have felt the same way even before I was a mother though.

Glad you have calmed down OP, feeling silly about it now isn't necessarily a bad thing, hopefully you'll think twice about being so quick to confrontation/aggression in the future. You will feel the benefit and probably live longer due to less stress!!

sorry to hear that, op. this thread is unlikely to bring happiness but I wish you well

I'm starting to think that now dusty.
I didn't get aggressive with her, I really wish people would stop adding their own twist onto things, I questioned her I wasn't aggressive.

The fact that this seems to happen to you "all the time" strikes me as odd. Perhaps you're coming across in a certain way?

Next time - try rising above it. What's the point in starting an argument? What does it achieve?

Assume she's had a bad day or isn't a nice person; either way, arguing with her just drags you down to her level.

Op the positive you can take from this thread is a slight more awareness of how you might come a cross in a similar situation (I.e. that you might be intimidating to others without realising or meaning to do so). Seemingly little things like this can have a big impact on another persons day (especially a stressed mum at the end of her tether) so the thread hasn't been a total waste for you (as I noticed that you acknowledge this earlier in the thread)

magnum my life will never be stress free lol but thank you anyway

I know you didnt mean it as aggressive, but saying that to a stranger is interpreted as an aggressive act. prob best not to in future.

Big x post there, definitely explains your over reaction OP. I hope you can get some help with your anxiety and maybe build up you social interactions.

I'm not liking the insults at all. I think I may leave the thread. I am so sorry for upsetting any one or making anyone angry at me. Please no more insults I don't like them and I don't tend to give them out. But your opinions are yours and I accept them I'd just rather not read them anymore.

OP, I don't think you were mean or aggressive. You just had the fight or flight syndrome, and you fought. And that's a good thing. It reminds me of that petite young woman who stopped a group of young men beating someone to death on the tube a couple of years ago. Some people are happy for people to get away with things, others aren't.

She's not worth your headspace. Have a and and enjoy the weekend

Maybe aggressive isn't the word op but you were definitely confrontational and unnecessarily so.

Why bother? Stare back, roll your eyes and walk off to carry on with your day. Whoever was in the right or wrong, it was you that started the argument not her.