To seriously hate that when you differ in opinions, you get accused of not having kids!

[DontPullThatTubeOut]

Ok so just that basically, I am so fucking tired of being told I "must not have children" because my opinion just happens to be different to theirs. Or for example, walking down the town today, a woman with a buggy nearly clips my heel I'm not bothered as I was crossing the street in front of her and went a bit diaganol to get to where I needed to, she looks at me and gives me an awful stare, so I question her as to what she's looking at. I say "why are you looking at me like that?" She replies she was looking into the shop next to me yet our eyes locked? So I said to her sure oh we're and went to carry on, her response "how can you talk to a woman with a child like that!" I said I do have two kids myself, she accused me of lying and said I wouldn't speak like that to her if I did, . So I said to her, just because you have a child with you does not mean I won't confront you if you give me a dirty look, just to clarify I would never start a fight in front of a child etc in fact I don't actually have fights and never have done, but I won't take a dirty look and not question it especially when she practically rammed her pram up the path at the crossing when there was no need as the lights were green.

Sorry for the rant but I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that hates being told they mustn't have kids because an opinion differs or I handle something differently to themselves.

Chloe yes I think that may be it, the situation you explained was a similar situation to one I have had myself and I was bricking it the whole time but I couldn't control myself stepping in. Thank you, I shall get the kettle boiling once the two girls are in bed. Thank you.

Is this situation really being compared to a young women stepping in when two people were being beaten to death? LOL

Yeah, but you weren't a hero in this story. If you only take one thing form this thread

"What are you staring at?" =/ "are you fucking starting?"

At least know that you are throwing oil on the situation and don't stumble into it.

Chloe yes I think that may be it, the situation you explained was a similar situation to one I have had myself and I was bricking it the whole time but I couldn't control myself stepping in.

Maybe you have to experience it to understand!

I'm as quiet as a mouse until I am wronged.

You are possibly reading too much into a 'look' that may or may not have been directed at you, for all you know the women was having a bad day, she might have squinted because the sun was in her eyes, maybe she just trod in something nasty. She might even just have one of those faces, that looks permanently pissed off.
At worse she gave you a dirty look, what are you hoping to achieve by challenging a stranger. - To teach her on the off chance you meet her again never to look at you funny again? Spread the word to her friends too ?
Something's are worth getting worked up about and something are just not worth the bother. Pick your battles carefully.

Very good advice there Secrets

Life it tough enough without making it tougher for yourself with nonsense like this.

chloe84 your comparison to a woman stopping someone getting beaten to death is more baffling than anything the OP has said or done

Why do people have to question if the look was directed at me or not? I clearly stated we had eye contact when the look happened how could it be at anyone else other than myself? Fair enough you think I am wrong but please stop trying so hard to prove that she may have had another reason when, with all due respect, you were not there and I was. Fair enough I may have interpreted the situation wrong but do not make scenarios up that did not exist.

I don't think Chloe was comparing them just stating that when you feel wronged and a dirty look can make you feel that way, that people instantly choose a way to deal with it and I clearly chose fight. She didn't say the two scenes were the same.

I don't think we need caped crusaders stopping dirty looks, real or imagined!!!!

dontpull I really hoped you were seeing the light with this thread but it seems all it takes is one person agreeing with your stance to go back to feeling justified.

Oh well, we tried.

dontpull why do you feel the need to challenge this women. Even if she is the biggest arse around what are you getting out of confronting her?

I've already stated I was in the wrong I was just saying that I can see where Chloe was coming from. No need for the attitude really is there? I don't know how many times I can say I am sorry and I didn't realise that I could have made the woman feel threatened in the way that I did. I don't k ow what else to say I feel like everything I say is being taken and turned to suit what people seem to think about me.

I think it's unreasonable to split values into 'has children' and 'doesn't have children'. To speak of being 'accused' of not having children is rather a harsh phrase to use - as if people who don't have children are insensitive barbarians.

I don't know, I just don't like the thought of someone thinking they've got one over on me I guess. I know it sounds mad but I honestly feel that if I don't challenge something that I feel has upset/annoyed or angered me in some way then I am letting someone ruin my mood. It doesn't take much for me to get into a mood and I struggle to get out of them I just wanted to be happy today but that hasn't happened.

It's not really attitude, some people are trying to help you.
You are lucky you didn't pick the wrong person, you might not be so lucky next time.

And do you feel happy now you've challenged a virtual stranger ? It seems to me you don't, or you would be on here venting about it.

No one has an attitude.

Well, one person does but it isn't the people responding to you...

Yes, I'm not comparing OP to the woman who stopped a beating. I just meant that some people speak up, and others don't.

Look, I agree that nobody should go out looking for a fight. Especially not if you put yourself in danger.

But you know all those times people hurt me for simply being there - being deliberately shoved in the chest on the tube, being called a bitch for walking when someone was running behind me, being called lewd comments by a man, being rammed from the back by a pushchair - it's the times that I didn't speak up for myself that I still remember.

I'm not going to make the OP feel bad for challenging someone for shitty behaviour.

I honestly feel that if I don't challenge something that I feel has upset/annoyed or angered me in some way then I am letting someone ruin my mood

Wow. So you start arguments in the street with people who almost touch you with a pram and look at you....what the hell would you do if someone actually bumped into you or said something you didn't like?

You're coming across as paranoid, aggressive and argumentative.

chloe is explaining things so much better than me. I think I may leave the thread now, I've taken what you have all said on board. Thank you.

Chloe84 - I would always step in if I thought someone was being targeted or abused.

But asking someone what they're looking at cos you feel like you're getting a bad look from them. NOT the same.

being called lewd comments by a man

You see, right here is where I go full fishwife. And I'll dish it out well outside the boundaries of 'reasonable'. But I won't be on MN wondering why it all got heated afterwards.

I think people need to read my posts correctly before accusing me of things I did not do.

I did not challenge anyone about a pram at all, but if t makes you feel better to think that and have a go at me then by all means I can't control what you do.

I've been bumped into and I naturally apologise and when they do it's fine, these things happen. I don't have an issue with her buggy being close to me, I've accidentally knocked someone's foot with my massive bulk of a pram before and I've apologised and had no issues. It was her stopping turning her head to give me a dirty look that annoyed me.