....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

I saw tiny bananas somewhere recently

See!

Ooh forgot about tiny bananas!

For tomorrow's lunchbox

Are these your DCs?

Oooh, I love strawberries.

She sounds like a twunt.

@mangomay - should you still be wondering, a linnet is a songbird (a sort of finch): it wakes up Oscar Wilde's eponymous Selfish Giant to see the one tree in his garden where spring is; & one features in the music hall song My Old Man... (I learned about them reading The Children of Green Knowe books though...)

More importantly, Linda is a complete eejit. Putting it politely. I mean, the lunchbox nonsense was bad enough, but the shite she's trotted out about "children needing fathers no matter what" is abhorrent. Her behaviour about the quiz was vile too. Ugh.

Think you need to rally the other volunteers to demand badges. Thanks & recognition is a big thing, after all. And ok it's a different sort of recognition, but that's a minor detail... am sure there are LOTS of EXCELLENT arguments for lanyards being All Or Nothing. Erm, Noone. There shouldn't be an artificial hierarchy of volunteers based on ego.

Volunteering is great. And I get mentioning it on social media if, say, it might let you connect with others in a similar role - so saying you're a Scout/Guide Leader, or member of St John's Ambulance/mountain rescue/local scheme for supporting people with dementia or whatever. Not so much if it's really just to do the Look At Me! I Give BACK! I CONTRIBUTE! thing

Good luck with the passive-aggressive lunches next week. Could you cut a sandwich up into tiny TINY bits so he has a billionty tiny sandwiches?

See the Waitrose Ines whilst looking at Ocado this morning, I remember when I was a child we had a greengrocers which eventually closed. Somewhere else I stayed had a GG and I'd rather get my fruit from someone like a GG or market stall GG.

They've ruined our market, so 1 market GG remains where we used to have 3. They did really gorgeous flowers cheap too with a good selection.

How is Linda today? If I was really pedantic and had the time, I'd make her a wee laminated card saying 'Lunchbox Police' ooh, plus printed off letters saying 'Please be fair with fruit in DC lunchbox!' I'm a bit pedantic like that.

Regarding tiny bananas, we've all had our disappointments.

I can't believe I've just read 9 pages of strawberry related thread.

Fuck you Linda. Fuck you a lot.

Bluesky yes. Yes those are defo my DCs.
Project its bad isn't it? I can't believe I've contributed to 9 pages of GIANT strawberry related thread (I just feel that by calling it strawberry, and not GIANT you're belittling my fruit, literally. Can we acknowledge the size please?)

I should not be awake. I don't make sense this early in the morning.

Mangomay I'm feeling sorry for all the Lindas now.

I also wonder if we're friends

Friends in RL badhot?! Which part of the country do you live in?

Holy Christmas, that's the biggest strawberry I've ever seen!!!!

I have seen strawberries at least as big as that in a vair posh épicerie in France, they were only about 4 euros each. Bargain.
Oh and #FUCKYOULINDA too.
(Sorry for shouting but sometimes it's just necessary.)

Linda has a face you sometimes want to shout at. It's fine Tarty, I understand.

East

Ahhh I'm very very South

Linda has a face you sometimes want to shout at.

That definitely fits with the image I have conjured up in my head. 🤔

Anyone else want a whole thread on John the Fruit? I can just picture him.

Lunchbox Linda has a Father Ted-style problem with size versus quantity, clearly.

I do acknowledge it's a whopper of a strawberry mango.

I've spent an unreasonable amount of time contemplating whether if you chopped all the edible bits of an apple up, versus all the edible bits of the giant strawberry, would they have an equal volume/mass/nutritional value?

My conclusion is that they probably would. Therefore next time you want to send him with an apple, you'll need to add five apples to the lunchbox, according to Linda.

sapphire John the Fruit is my favourite. He calls me 'beautiful' and every other woman who comes to his stall but I know he's lying to them and rounds everything down to the nearest pound. He has a really hearty chuckle, especially when he's talking to kids and he's basically the child whisperer. If there's ever a littlun kicking off he usually does some kind of silly trick with disappearing fruit (he basically just eats it) and the child, whatever age just stares while poor frazzled mum carries on with her shopping. He has dark hair and sparkly blue eyes, and a weathered yet ruggedly handsome face and I'm definitely not secretly a bit in love with him. The old ladies all love him, because he calls them 'young lady' and throws in an extra punnet of grapes for free.
Once I told him about the MN stunt pineapple joke and now every time I buy a pineapple, he asks if it's a stunt pineapple.
He's a total dream. I know he has a wife and 6 kids, he lives in an old farmhouse (but not a working farm), he makes jams and chutneys and has a pet pig.

Ahhh John the Fruit.

Hehe Sapphire! I was thinking about John The Fruit yesterday when I was buying mediocre strawberries . I want a John The Fruit.

I'm sorry but I'm really not prepared to share him. I'm just not. There's already 5000-ish other residents of this town that I have to compete with, I can't cope with more.

John the fruit sounds like he gets around he's a busy busy man