....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

She's actually not an entirely bad person, but she is one of those volunteers who makes a big deal about volunteering iykwim. She even has it in her Instagram bio....

Yes I know what you mean mangomay.
My DCs old school had a Linda, she was insufferable amusing too. There is also a nice Linda at DCs school but she's literally a little teddy bear, one of those people if you raised tour voice even a little at her it'd be akin to kicking a puppy.

I feel sorry for Linda, too. She probably didn't intend any harm when she commented on your strawberry. It's hardly crime of the century.

Blagging you are a marvel!!!!!

Oh sorry, forgot -

#fucklinda

ILookedintheWater you don't need to fashion cheese to look like a giant babybel, send him in with a wheel of Emmentaal.

This thread is gold! I'm still laughing at the "strawberry from the fields of Chernobyl"

Such a modern thread what with all the hashtags, I feel like some kind of hipster.

#fucklinda

#cursorysweep

#it'snotlikeyouneedtoinsertitsidewayslinda

"you're not the lunchbox police Linda"

It's impossible for me not to imagine this as a Victoria Wood sketch.

I know a lovely Linda too, so I secretly feel shit about all the fuck Linda hashtags. Although Lovely Linda likes to be called Lin, so it's ok I guess.
For reference, Linda is always in 'active wear' but doesn't have a gym membership. She's 43, but looks fairly good for her age. Slightly overweight, but again it looks good on her. She looks 'comfortable' Actually everything about her is comfortable.
I'll admit now I hold a little grudge against Linda because she wouldn't let me be on 'her' PTA quiz night team, because it was 'hubbies and wifeys' only. Apparently if I'd joined with no partner, they'd have to find another person for the team which would be 'a real pain Mango, you understand don't you?' I was a single mum at the time. My friend dropped out of Linda's team, left her husband home with the kids and we joined another team, and wiped the floor with Linda and her hubby/wifey team.

She also told me once how important it was for kids to have their dad around regardless of the circumstances. She got very flustered when I asked her if it was important for kids to see their dad swinging a cricket bat at their mums head because the Asda delivery man called her 'babe', or to see him hiding their mums shoes so she couldn't leave the house, or snapping her joint account debit card in half so she couldn't get any money out?
Linda and I have previous. She definitely hates me.

This is so funny.i love it.

Oh and FUCK YOU LINDA.

Woah. That's sobering.

Yeah sorry, totally killed the upbeat vibe of the thread.

Linda has one of those canvas bags with all the red apples on or are they giant strawberries? definitely a little fruit obsessed?!

Thanks for the description of her. I know her type. Smug bitch.

#FuckYouLinda

Good job you managed to photograph the strawberry beforehand, otherwise it would have been hard to believe.

That's why I took a pic, I knew nobody would believe the strawberry as big as my hand story

Send him in with two cheerios sandwiched together with a tiny bit of cream cheese. When she asked, it's a mini bagel...

OP it's a bit prices, but do you think you might be able to purchase one of these hats?

pearlsandswine.com/products/strawberry-fruit-glitter-fascinator-xuxu

pearlsandswine.com/products/glittery-doll-face-strawberry-hat-sunny-afternoon

It would be worth it, I think.

Typical Linda!

*pricey

I can't stop laughing at that picture of the strawberry. Did you get Donald Trump to hold it to exaggerate the effect?
#fuckLinda

Freezer I could make the top one for sure. I'm a nursery teacher, I've got felt and glitter coming out of my ears.

Not literally obvs.

Wow what a drip feed, OP!

You definitely have form with this woman.

I understand the strength of your annoyance at her judginess. I'm on team: #letsfuckwithLindashead

BTW on a serious note, sorry to hear about your ex. Nasty piece of work.

We should all fight back passively aggressively by sending giant fruit to all the arseholes in our lives!

Wel then you know what you need to do.