....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

[KentMum2008]

Never did send DS with one blueberry.....in fact I was really compliant and put regular sized fruit in the kids lunches right up until the end of term. I did send DS with a massive apple one day, and had a vision in my head of Linda shaking her head at how silly it is to overwhelm an 8 year old with fruit the size of his head.

Never got my lanyard either....

[Blisss]

Look at this MASSIVE strawberry 😱
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2941543-Look-at-this-MASSIVE-strawberry

Here's another thread about a giant strawberry too lol

[artycakemaker]

how did i manage to miss this thread!

[pickleypockley]

Please tell me you sent him with one blueberry!

[KentMum2008]

We aim to please Heggy

#FuckLinda

[Heggy79]

Oh my god... Just had the worst day, and this has totally made up for it. Crying with laughing!

Just brilliant. Thank you, one and all!

[SapphireStrange]

He sounds awesome, OP!

I don't remember the stunt pineapple conversation. Must catch up on it bugger work

[KentMum2008]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2749425-What-naice-things-do-you-make-sure-are-visible-to-visitors

Stunt pineapple thread

[PelvicFloorClenchReminder]

Linda is a fruitcake.

[QuestionableMouse]

In ye olden days, pineapples used to be rather expensive so people would hire one to show off when they had guests.

[Pettywoman]

Wtf is a stunt pineapple? I must have missed that gem.

[KentMum2008]

Or totally peel a kiwi and convince her it's a giant peeled grape?!

[KentMum2008]

Oh that's brilliant! Although that sounds like the sort of thing I'd say! I really can't control my mouth when I'm in a foul mood. I once shouted at a particularly loud crow that had taken to cawing outside my window at 6am when I was monumentally hungover Something along the lines of 'do one you feathery git'. My neighbour heard me, and still mentions it to this day.

[Pettywoman]

I love naive ham.

[amysmummy12345]

Crying in bed at spud cunt 😂

Can you get a coconut and shave it, then convince FuckLinda it's just your average size kiwi fruit?

[elephantoverthehill]

To ask what's the best response you've had on Mumsnet? | Mumsnet ...
www.mumsnet.com/.../2378445-To-ask-whats-the-best-response- youve-had-on-Mumsnet
... wasn't mine) was when someone said that they dropped a potato at a self service checkout during a bad day and screamed at it "fuck off then you spud cunt !

[KentMum2008]

What are spud cunts?

[elephantoverthehill]

If we are on a fruit and veg theme, I think 'spud cunts' need a mention.

[KentMum2008]

No hellokitty they're from a market!

[KentMum2008]

Plannedshock you missed off stunt pineapple. IMO that's one of the best threads there ever was although apparently in fruit obsessed too Penis beaker was a close second.

[hellokittymania]

Thank you, you gave me the best laugh today!

Did you get those at Tesco's?

[plannedshock]

*naice

[plannedshock]

Not a troll, been here ages. Naive ham, penis beaker, fuck Linda

[Shinesun9]

I am just

#fucklinda
#strawberrygate

[DeathByMascara]

Tomberries are delicious! Definitely send him in with just one of these bad boys. Sliced.