....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

A cosmonger would have to be a sort of super-specialist costermonger... wouldn't surprise me if they had those in Kent. Not like our scruffy-shouty genuine!cockney costermongers on the markets up here (We also get elderly women bopping up to sell cockles & winkles from baskets slung round their necks... when I was wee there was one who'd wear an actual bonnet in the summer, not a hat because she was blatantly a time traveller supposedly as it stayed on better & the brim was better definitely a time traveller through she was in boots and a long dress and an apron, come on people but yes, no niche!mongering for us unless you count that...)

MrsZombieMum Sat 06-May-17 20:27:39

"Why is it ok for my DS to have chocolate sponge and custard when he has a school meal, but not ok for me to put a teeny tiny weeny chocolate biscuit in his lunch box? Which I've only done a couple times btw...."

I have never understood this either MZM. I guess it's a way to stop parents just sending in a doughnut for lunch, but it does give mixed messages.

I actually went out about bought a punnet of strawberries yesterday as a result of reading this thread, but they were all disappointing average sized.

Fuck you Linda.

World's tiniest grape for you, OP. My DS ate it though.

They had giant strawberries in my sainsbos yest - the normal variety for £2 and 33% extra free. I did wonder if they had to do the extra as otherwise there would only have been 3 strawberries in the usual box!

To the people suggesting she should put only one blueberry in his lunch pack- you wouldn't need too many of these ones!

In my hand

Enormablueberries

Tell her to keep her sticky beak out

Linda sounds like a bellend. #strawberrygate

Tomberries are delicious! Definitely send him in with just one of these bad boys. Sliced.

I am just

#fucklinda
#strawberrygate

Not a troll, been here ages. Naive ham, penis beaker, fuck Linda

*naice

Thank you, you gave me the best laugh today!

Did you get those at Tesco's?

Plannedshock you missed off stunt pineapple. IMO that's one of the best threads there ever was although apparently in fruit obsessed too Penis beaker was a close second.

No hellokitty they're from a market!

If we are on a fruit and veg theme, I think 'spud cunts' need a mention.

What are spud cunts?

To ask what's the best response you've had on Mumsnet? | Mumsnet ...
www.mumsnet.com/.../2378445-To-ask-whats-the-best-response- youve-had-on-Mumsnet
... wasn't mine) was when someone said that they dropped a potato at a self service checkout during a bad day and screamed at it "fuck off then you spud cunt !

Crying in bed at spud cunt 😂

Can you get a coconut and shave it, then convince FuckLinda it's just your average size kiwi fruit?

I love naive ham.

Oh that's brilliant! Although that sounds like the sort of thing I'd say! I really can't control my mouth when I'm in a foul mood. I once shouted at a particularly loud crow that had taken to cawing outside my window at 6am when I was monumentally hungover Something along the lines of 'do one you feathery git'. My neighbour heard me, and still mentions it to this day.

Or totally peel a kiwi and convince her it's a giant peeled grape?!