....about the giant strawberry?!

[KentMum2008]

Total first world problem I know, and I'm defo more irritated by this than I should be, but...
I got some amazing strawbs from the market, seriously huge and really sweet. I put one in DS lunch box and it filled a whole compartment (one of those sistema lunch cube thingys)
DS comes out of school and says one of the lunchtime supervisors said to him 'what a mean mummy, only giving you one strawberry. You'll have to ask her for more tomorrow' I know the woman in question she's one of the mum's in DDs class so I jokingly said to her 'I hear you think I'm a bit of a meanie' in case DS was making it up.
I shit you not, she said to me 'well that's terribly mean only giving him one strawberry, that's not enough to fill a growing boy' She was deadly serious too.
For reference, the strawb in question is below. Pretty large, and accompanied by a sandwich, a chunk of cucumber, a babybel and a yoghurt. She would have been at his table from the beginning of lunch so she'll have seen what was in there to begin with. They do a cursory sweep for contraband at the beginning of lunch every day.
Was I BU to say to her 'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?
Because her face was , you'd think I'd just slapped her....

OMG this thread has made today worthwhile ... love it 😂

Send this

blue

If we could just doctor that image so the strawberry is huge, and it's got my face on it that would be perfect.

That's fucking huge!!!

#FuckLinda

'you're not the lunchbox police Linda, save your concern for the kids with a sausage roll and a can of Coke'?

You're my new hero! Well done! And yeah, fuck Linda.

Well, OP, you have more gigantastrawbs at home, a camera phone and a sassy expression....you know what you have to do!

That's brilliant blagging

So many ways to mess with her mind.
Have you considered growing cucamelons?

I've heard of those, I think James Wong raves about them occasionally.
I genuinely considered hollowing out a watermelon and packing his whole lunch inside it (in sandwich bags obvs, melony sandwiches would be grim). Imagine Linda's face when DS pitches up with a whole watermelon for lunch. In this imaginary scenario, I've attached a GoPro to DS school jumper so I can actually see her face.

Standing in the playground and can't help but chuckle while glancing over at Linda the Lunch, oblivious as to what next week has in store for her

I'm not sure Linda has any right being a lunchtime supervisor with that attitude! My 8 yr would have been very happy with that lunch and that strawberry!

I'm feeling a bit sorry for Linda now. She volunteers to do lunch duty (which is akin to the fifth circle of hell) and chats to the children so she's clearly a good egg.

#TeamLinda

I think you need to pack strawberry themed lunch accessories - napkins, cutlery, laminated strawberry placemat, coasters that sort of thing.

It can work both ways:
miniature pineapples, giant soft fruit,
tiny sandwiches, giant beef tomato.
Any chance of sourcing a full size babybel instead of a mini babybel?
Does he like cold chicken? Lidl still have some quail in the freezer: tiny teeny chicken.
I may be overplanning on your behalf.

Moving why didn't you wear your giant peach outfit today?

I know you said that giant plums aren't appreciated (hur hur ) but look at the plum I had a few weeks ago! It was bigger than my apple

#fucklinda

Cant you give him one teeny tiny strawberry and when she mentions it train him to say "Its not small, its far away"?

I've not read the whole thread as well I'm too lazy but that is one impressive strawberry!

1 strawberry at the size is fine with the rest you provided for lunch

Moving don't feel too sorry for Linda, there are plenty of mums who volunteer in school, myself included, for lunch duty and assorted other things, and she's the only one who is judgey and rude. It's not the first time she's commented on lunchbox contents when it's entirely unwarranted.

Pyongyang I wanted to train him to say 'the whole of MN says fuck Linda' but not sure how well that would go down.

She's actually not an entirely bad person, but she is one of those volunteers who makes a big deal about volunteering iykwim. She even has it in her Instagram bio....

Oh well in that case teach him to arch a brow and say "fuck you Linda, fuck you right up the bum".

I'm tempted to grow these in my garden

Ah man, now I fancy a giant strawberry dipped in melted chocolate

I wonder what Linda looks like!

Thanks for this thread, it's given me a good laugh this eve
fuck Linda