To let my DD walk on the wall?

[PrincessWatermelon]

Like any other children, my 2 DDs (2 and 4) love walking on garden walls. There are some especially good ones near the school. No one has told us off, but I do wonder what the 'done thing' is. Obviously I'm careful they only walk on a sturdy wall and don't touch/harm any plants/fences, etc. Do you think this is ok or AIBU?

MrsK it made me smile & it would have made me love him more too.

Of course, having been in MN for far too long, I'd now be worrying about stupid shit that wouldn't have occurred to me years ago. It's a downside.

Yes Koala it did make me smile. You sound like the best kind of neighbours to have. I am very glad that some of my neighbours are like you, friendly and generous, with a smile for my kids!

Clara You do know that it's possible to be friendly and generous and smile at kids without letting half the neighbourhoods childten be feral in your car? Not so sweet when one of them lets the handbrake off

I used to live on a house on a busy road that was used as the walk to and from a large primary school.

Our wall got the coping (? the bit at the top) knocked off by kids walking along it and it was expensive and repetitive to keep repairing it.

I would be v pissed off.

I wouldn't necessarily get cross about a child climbing onto my wall without the parent telling them to get down. I would get cross about the attitude shown by the OP, ie actually giving her child permission. It isn't her wall. Rude.

Laughing at the kids being feral. They were very sweet neighbours, couldn't have been more than 6. A dad asked dh if he minded and dh said no as long as they didn't damage it. They just played with their action figures on the back seat in the drizzle. It was mk. There was no danger of the car rolling away it was facing forward to the wall in a bay type thing. The car was so old we scrapped it a few weeks later when we moved.

I just remember the incredulous 'wtf!!' Moment when dh said it matter of factly. Such a typical thing for him to do. Naive and trusting. He always sees the best in everything - of course I can see (especially now we have dc and a better car) how bizarre it is. Still makes me laugh tho.

(Some may remember this is the man whose mum let some random hungarian man who spoke no English live in her shed! )

Yes, 'feral' was a slightly OTT choice of word by myself Koala

Ha! When in Rome Fluffy!

Why have you encouraged your children to walk on walls? They wouldn't want to walk on private walls if you hadn't encouraged them to do so in public places.

Quite frankly walls are not designed to be walked on, and where there is a fucking pavement next to the wall, which weirdos allow their children to crawl all over walls? I wonder whose liability it is when your child slips over and knocks their teeth out?

I'm so glad I live nowhere near the general public.

The neighbours actually asked if you minded their 6 year old's playing in your car, MrsK? I'd find that quite weird, actually, especially if it was to shelter from the rain.
Who lets 6 year olds play out in the rain, even if a neighbour thoughtfully leaves his car unlocked? It was good of your DH, though.
But weird of the neighbours...

Yeah - now i've got kids i'm about it. At the time it didn't really occur to me. Depends on the kids i suppose. Mine i barely let in my own car with 2 adults present! He didn't knock and say can my kids play in the car. DH was out there and he came out to say his kids had been playing in the car and they told him dh said it was fine. Sort of checking whether they were lying. Because it DOES sound like a complete lie let's be honest.

I'm genuinely surprised that anyone would let random kids play in their car and that random children would even think to do that - maybe that's where letting them walk on people's walls leads...

Very naive of your now DH to let them - especially given how paranoid some people are about men (see the thread about the dad asking for a play date for his daughter!)

From your descriptions of streams of people walking along your wall and having to wait for them etc, you sound like you live in quite an atypical neighbourhood (hopefully!)

I know Liv, i didn't think of all of 'that' either till i had kids.

I don't think atypical we are just on a main thoroughfare from quite a few schools (i have only had to wait in my car when it's 4pm). We live at the end of a high street where it becomes residential and the bus stops are. The wall is low, plain, wide and very sturdy. No plants or anything which could get damaged.

I got pissed off in the summer as people used to sit on the wall smoking at 4am, with suitcases waiting to be picked up (i'm assuming a coach/bus route to the airport). The windows were open and i'd wake in a panic thinking the house was on fire!. They'd be all excited and chatting.

Fluffy Koala's post didn't sound like half the neighbourhood playing in her car; it sounded like a couple of kids known by sight to her dh who were using an old car as a hideout with their parent's knowledge. Obviously, I assumed the car was in a safe spot where it wouldn't roll, or was an automatic (like mine, which can't roll when parked, even without hand-brake).

Wow! I am in the minority - it is a wall, I dont care if kids walk on our wall. Some peole are so precious. Seriously! No wonder UK kids are among the most depressed in the world and feel the need to grow up so fast!

Public walls YANBU. Private walls YABU

mun So its fine for them to learn that they can go onto other people's property? Wow yourself

I'm sure they aren't depressed because they can't walk on someone's wall - and frankly if that's what is causing this countrywide problem, then you should probably let the relevant people know as you have obviously brilliant and have unlocked the cause of it

Public walls still have to be maintained. If your kid wants to climb etc, there are plenty of facilities for that kind of thing which are built for the purpose

I wonder whose liability it is when your child slips over and knocks their teeth out?

I think the technical term is an accident Frilly. Unless you've deliberately applied special slippy stuff so children knock their teeth out. But who would do that?

So nobody has ever tried to blag a few grand from the insurers then? I have seen exactly that.

If everyone respected (and kept away from) other people's property, this wouldn't be an issue.

Insurance fraud abounds Livia. But insurers aren't stupid.

And sometimes you can't stay away from other people's property. I had to repair the handrail and broken step leading to my basement because there are meters down there and people need to read them. Other people go down there too without thought of causing damage - often delivery drivers looking for the wrong address and once I found two police officers who were checking outhouses for a vulnerable missing person.

If one of them had gone arse over tit 15ft onto a concrete floor how far do you think I would have got telling them that it's a bit dodgy and they should have taken more care?

Same with garden walls. I accept that children shouldn't climb on them, but I also accept that they often do and if the wall is in a state of collapse then it might be considered that I am partially responsible for their injury.

No wonder UK kids are among the most depressed in the world

Yup. It's totally not walking on walls that does it

If you have to go onto someone's property for legitimate reasons then of course you do.

However that is different to walking on people's drives or walls just for the sake of it.

I see what you did there Navy