To let my DD walk on the wall?

[PrincessWatermelon]

Like any other children, my 2 DDs (2 and 4) love walking on garden walls. There are some especially good ones near the school. No one has told us off, but I do wonder what the 'done thing' is. Obviously I'm careful they only walk on a sturdy wall and don't touch/harm any plants/fences, etc. Do you think this is ok or AIBU?

I remember walking on walls as a kid (most probably with my dad) and to be honest I wouldn't care less if little ones (with theirs parents) climbed my wall whilst passing. However when I walked said walls it was with a parent and literally a one way thing, mostly public property. I remember my mum having a go at some older kids who would jump up and down all afternoon on her wall and "shoo" them away - so I think tweens/teens no but toddlers up to 4/5 no harm done!

Wouldn't the owner be responsible if they were on a wall and got hurt?

YANBU. Depends on the child and the wall though! I would let them walk on a private wall if it was sturdy and not going to cause damage. If the homeowner was in the garden I'd check it was OK. Some kids are destructive but a considerate 2 / 4 yo with their mum at hand won't harm the wall.

There's nothing wrong with it, and anyone who says there is is a miserable bastard
Anyone who thinks it's ok it's a disrespectful bastard.

Anyone who says there's nothing wrong with it after a thread of examples of the expense and inconenience and worry it causes home owners is in denial that they are rude selfish inconsiderate bastards
No, it isn't ok. It's a person's property.
What happens if you damage it?
Or if your child gets injured?

Booshbeesh
Kids come onto your lawn? Setiously?? I'd be sttaight out there telling them to get lost. There's a line!

Aaarrrggghh in my last house this was a huge problem for me. There was a low wall right outside my front window and it was just around the corner from a Primary school. When kids walked on it they were just the right height to see straight into my sitting room. It used to bug the hell out of me.

Letting your kids tramp all over someone else's property just because "it looks desirable" is the very definition of entitled as far as I'm concerned.

I despair.
Every day I am dealing with children who are neglected, unloved, punished without reason, scared, beaten and harmed in all sorts of ways. I assume that most of my fellow citizens think it is wrong that children are treated that way but I come on Munsnet and where I might expect to find love of children, encouragement of freedom and joy, I discover gangs of petty-minded, self-important, self-obsessed haters who give the impression they wouldn't spare a stranger the contents of their water bottle if his or her child was on fire.
There is quite enough hatred of children in this country - FAR more than in Belgium and Denmark where I have also lived. Complaining about them walking on ones fucking wall that one has made no fucking effort to keep safe, to fence, rail or grow plants over is frankly unreasonable and below the standards of regard and protection for children that I would like for our society.
Next time one of you sits by the window watching your frankly unsafe and unprotected garden wall and see a child approaching it, before you leap up to go and castigate them consider that this might be the one bit of unrestrained joy and exploration they have between the rigours of school and the horrors of home.
And then go fuck your fucking self.
Fuck!
Show the love, people.

Ah the irony of 'show the love, people' after telling everyone to 'fuck your fucking self'

I'm sure that level of aggression will turn people right around on the issue 🙄

Livia.
That is reserved only to the people who would tell a child off for doing something so innocent. It is entirely consistent. If you're nice to children, I'll treat you with regard and respect. If you want to be horrible to them the I will make it my business to fight back on their behalf..

Still, well done for bringing out the old 'UK is full of child haters, it's not like this in Europe' etc etc. Because that's not a cliche.

You know it's possible to say 'could you please not do that' without being horrible? Why assume that just because people are annoyed, they will kick off?

I think you have visions of homeowners sitting in their gardens with high power hoses to use on the children

'Love' does not mean 'letting other people do whatever the fuck they like'

The best thing for a child is neither neglect nor indulgence. It's being taught self respect and respect for others, amongst other things. Respecting other people's things is an important lesson for kids and can really enhance their ability to make and keep friendships, among other things. That is really showing love.

And then go fuck your fucking self.
Fuck!
Show the love, people.

The love just oozes from your post, it sounds so loving, Huppopapa. I feel all warm and fuzzy now

Still now I will smile indulgently at all children and in fact suggest they climb over cars etc just in case....

Yes I'm totally turned round on that

Is it usual to be that emotionally involved in a job like that? Genuine question - it doesn't sound terribly healthy for your MH

I don't need to show the love. I don't own a wall to get annoyed at kids walking on. I'm not sitting by my window ready to pounce on poor angelic little cherubs.

I simply teach my children to respect others property and not walk on their walls.

I wouldn't let mine if it was someone's garden, I'm sure the home owner wouldn't really mind but it is someone else's property

Who knew? I let mine walk on walls, it's never occurred to me not to let mine do it

YABU

Maybe nobody has come out and challenged you because they are at work. Just because nobody comes out doesn't mean you should let your kid mess about on private property.

Generally, people don't like it when you allow children to walk on their garden walls. They don't like you letting your children pick pretty flowers from their gardens either. They might think it's okay, but unless you know them, it's probably best not to chance it in case of causing offence or a situation where a fed up person comes roaring out of their house and makes your innocent child cry for something you should have thought about. It's not that hard to grasp.

Huppopapa!
I totally relate to every word of your comment.
I've never know such bitchy vibes to come through a SCREEN til I joined mumsnet!
Absolutely full of sanctimonious , begrudging , self-important nag-bags that take utter JOY in throwing around words like "entitled" when anyone so much as mentions their toddles putting a foot wrong.
Some people won't be happy til we live in a silent ,sterile country where every child is Von Trapp material Then when that's achieved they'll be judging parents because kids are stuck in and overly controlled
News flash people... Ketting a toddler stroll along a bloody wall, is NOT the same as standing back while they destroy someone's property .
Geeez get some perspective.

Letting!

I didn't let either of mine on private garden walls. They would ask and I'd say no, these walls belong to the people who live in that house.

I think if you let kids climb on a wall that belongs to someone then you aren't teaching them about respecting other's property.

I suspect the wall climbers from toddler years are now those irritating teenagers who think it's perfectly ok to sit on peoples walls in huge gangs smoking, swearing and generally being quite intimidating and anti-social.

It's about teaching children respect for other people, respect for other people's property and that you can't just do something because you want to.

There are tons of places kids can climb and walk on walls without upsetting someone else.

picking flowers and walking on walls are completely different tho. picking flowers is permanent walking isn't.

Last year i was at rural bus stop in the rain. The stop was on a main road with very little pavement (so stood on a patch of grass right on the road). DH had driven off with the buggy in the boot. There was a huge traffic jam. i had 3.9yo and 1.10yo on reins. A few metres away was a little group of houses in a horse shoe shape with paved front areas. We waited an hour and 45 mins for the bus and we played on the drives. We didn't damage anything or pick anything.

To be honest I wouldn't want kids walking on my garden wall. Of course I wouldn't be mad at the toddler but the stupid ass parent or carer that thought it's ok to allow someone across my propoerty because you can guarantee it wouldn't be a one off. Others will copy people pass Drive and garden on the way to three primary schools so there's always lots of children around school opening and closing times. One person gets an idea, they all want to do the same!