Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS11 seems "unreasonably" interested in what's for dinner/lunch. Or AIBU?

120 replies

Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:10

Unfailingly he asks what is for dinner, often following up with what is for dinner tomorrow and sometimes even the day after. He reacts to whatever it is- happily or sadly- and if he doesn't like it complains a fair amount until i tell him to knock it off. He asks for specific lunches, going so far as to specify the type of bread (not just white or brown, but a specific brand of white). He asks for deep-fried chicken nuggets as opposed to oven-baked- and is willing to enter an exhausting discussion about it. Yesterday, we had a conversation like this:
-Can you make that Filipino beef dish for dinner again?
-umm that needs soya sauce and sugar, and we're out
-Surely soya sauce and sugar are things that should always be in the house?

And I was like whaaa?

He is not a particularly "mature" or "thoughtful" child otherwise- stereotypical boy running around, mostly interested in his video games and sports. I am finding his concern with his food a bit exhausting and annoying. Also maybe greedy? I dunno, I just wish he would eat without a commentary, and without increasing, it feels like, instructions.

OP posts:
plutohasfeelingstoo · 02/05/2017 16:13

From reading this it just makes me think he's a foodie . I think some people are just way more interested in food than others . Is he interested in cooking at all? Get him on board and save yourself some bother.

Chloe84 · 02/05/2017 16:14

YANBU. Does he think it's a restaurant?!

Fine to make his favourite dish now and then but constant requests are annoying.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/05/2017 16:15

Can he cook? Meal plan? Because it sounds like he could be more involved. Future Gordon Ramsey heaven forfend?

No issues with weight or similar, I'm assuming?

picklemepopcorn · 02/05/2017 16:15

Erm, would it be entirely inappropriate to ask how to make the Philippino beef dish?

Fruitcocktail6 · 02/05/2017 16:16

Why don't you let him help with cooking and plan meals? That is clearly what he wants to do.

ImperialBlether · 02/05/2017 16:16

Do you have a shop nearby that he could go to every single time he asks for something? It might curb his enthusiasm!

Or get him to cook a family meal once week?

esiotrot2015 · 02/05/2017 16:17

I'd let him take over the cooking

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 02/05/2017 16:18

Oh gawd totally get him on board with the prep and cooking, might take persuading but it'll be totally worth the nurturing effort. Dd2 was exactly like this a couple of years back- she makes nearly all of the meals now! Grin

Vanillamanilla1 · 02/05/2017 16:20

He sounds like he's very interested In food which isn't a bad thing
I could talk about food ALLLLLLL day and often get recipes from others . I often wattsap a fellow foodie and the first thing I ask her is "what's for dinner "

KurriKurri · 02/05/2017 16:21

That sounds very irritating.

When I was a child conversations about dinner went like this
Me 'what is for dinner'
Mum 'Meat pie'
Me 'I don't like that'
Mum 'Then you can have apiece of cheese'

End of conversation. You are not the 'Cook' in his private restaurant. Decide on a meal and tell him that is what is on offer. (with a little allowance for reasonable dislikes and preferences - as in don't deliberately include ingredients you know he hates !)

If he makes remarks about what should or should not be in the house regarding cooking, tell him you are not at home to Mr Rude.

CurlyMango · 02/05/2017 16:22

Sounds good to me, so get hi. To cover some meals. Teach him the beef dish, get him a recipe book and off he can go. Fantastic.

NoSquirrels · 02/05/2017 16:25

Get him cooking! He is the answer to your prayers.

He meal plans with you on a Sunday, he can do the supermarket order online (even if you go to buy in person) to find out how much it all costs, he can research recipes. Awesome.

He may decide he's not much fussed after that, or he may get trained up so you don't have to be the only person cooking. Win-win.

FizzyGreenWater · 02/05/2017 16:25

Get him cooking!

He sounds like he's going to be a real foodie.

NoSquirrels · 02/05/2017 16:26

But - YANBU to find his commentary and demands a pain in the bum. I find some 11-year-old opinions a pain in the bum too!

2014newme · 02/05/2017 16:26

Involve him in cooking. Sounds like a future masterchef!

Chloe84 · 02/05/2017 16:27

From the tone of OP's post, and her irritation, I doubt DS is going to want to cook himself.

MaudGonneMad · 02/05/2017 16:27

I also want to know how to make the Filipino beef dish Smile

Can we have a recipe, OP?

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:28

Huh. I never thought of actually getting him to cook. At 11- a bit too early for stove tops and hot/sharp things? As I said, he's not particularly "mature". He does do certain chores (eg laundry) but thats more out of principle rather than him saving me any actual time and energy doing the chore. If anything, the reverse. I can imagine supervising him in the kitchen being even more tiring.

But yeah, I'll try to be a bit imaginative about it.

The Filipino beef is actually quite yummy and if you have the rice prepared, literally takes about 20 min. It's basically strip beef, salted and peppered, stirfried, add sugar, soya sauce and mince garlic and let simmer until the sugar melts. Meanwhile, toss the rice with melted butter in which more minced garlic is browned.
It's become a staple since its discover on the internet. I have no idea if Filipinos actually eat this or not?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 02/05/2017 16:28

I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect him not to have an opinion on the food he has to eat every single day TBH. Obviously rudeness shouldn't be tolerated tho.

Can you try and get him involved in a positive manner? Send him to the shops, or start teaching him simple meals.

Cagliostro · 02/05/2017 16:29

Get him cooking definitely!

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:30

Yeah we have had the "this is not restaurant and I am not a chef" conversation several times. But I am not sure whether this me being annoyed, tired and uninterested, or him genuinely being demanding and annoying, iyswim.

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 02/05/2017 16:31

Definitely not too young for stove tops etc. How many of us at 11/12 were cooking meals for the family? I certainly was.

Does he watching cooking shows? 'Ingredients you should have in the cupboard' sounds exactly like something Jamie Oliver or Greg Wallace would come out with.

Cagliostro · 02/05/2017 16:32

Dish sounds yum.

Yes I totally get what you mean about it taking more time to supervise etc but it's totally worth the investment - not just to save yourself time in the future (once they've actually mastered it) but for his future too.

Sounds like next time you make this lovely beef thing you will have an apprentice chef helping. Tell him he can choose one dish a week to try perhaps (on a day you have more time), he can plan, write shopping list and stuff

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 02/05/2017 16:32

My dd 11 makes flapjacks, cakes etc from scratch while I get on with futile kitchen chores. .
Let him loose!!

Batteriesallgone · 02/05/2017 16:32

Get him to help with meal planning and do all the checking of cupboards to see if you have ingredients in. You may never run out of soya and sugar again Wink