Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS11 seems "unreasonably" interested in what's for dinner/lunch. Or AIBU?

120 replies

Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:10

Unfailingly he asks what is for dinner, often following up with what is for dinner tomorrow and sometimes even the day after. He reacts to whatever it is- happily or sadly- and if he doesn't like it complains a fair amount until i tell him to knock it off. He asks for specific lunches, going so far as to specify the type of bread (not just white or brown, but a specific brand of white). He asks for deep-fried chicken nuggets as opposed to oven-baked- and is willing to enter an exhausting discussion about it. Yesterday, we had a conversation like this:
-Can you make that Filipino beef dish for dinner again?
-umm that needs soya sauce and sugar, and we're out
-Surely soya sauce and sugar are things that should always be in the house?

And I was like whaaa?

He is not a particularly "mature" or "thoughtful" child otherwise- stereotypical boy running around, mostly interested in his video games and sports. I am finding his concern with his food a bit exhausting and annoying. Also maybe greedy? I dunno, I just wish he would eat without a commentary, and without increasing, it feels like, instructions.

OP posts:
averythinline · 02/05/2017 16:51

My DS is similiar and also dyspraxic - didn't stop scouts giving him a saw/axe :) I brought him a good Kids knife like this as crap knives are the biggest cause of kitchen injuries in my mind ....and now every time I remember he helps (our kitchen is v v tiny) DS has and always has had an interest in food ...

uk.knivesandtools.eu/en/pt/-opinel-kitchen-knife-and-finger-protector-le-petit-chef.htm?gclid=CKuxnLrH0dMCFUQq0wodndcKeg

I was doing most of the family cooking as was DH from about this age as our mums both worked full time .....

We all meal planed together and db and i did the shopping as on the way back from senior school.....must start doing more of that..

hudyerwheesht · 02/05/2017 16:51

He should start doing food tech at secondary school (formerly known as home economics). Funnily enough my DS loved it, it was his favourite lesson which amazed me as no amount of coaxing had managed to get him interested in cooking with me.

AngelicaSchuylerChurch · 02/05/2017 16:51

what is "food tech" and what kind of school offers it? Never heard of it before. Neither me nor my kids nor anybody else I know cooked at school?

You can't be in the UK...!

socialanxietysrus · 02/05/2017 16:52

I agree, get him cooking!

My 8 year old DS loves cooking, I've bought him his own stuff like peelers ( needed ones that he could manage- he's awkward handed!) and he loves getting stuck in. I'm convinced he'll be a chef when he's older!

kateclarke · 02/05/2017 16:54

My mum said I was greedy. I ended up with anorexia and nearly died.

GlitterNails · 02/05/2017 16:54

I started cooking meals for the family around 11 years old, and got really into it. Would create quite elaborate meals.

Don't think he's too young at all, particularly if he's interested!

MongerTruffle · 02/05/2017 16:55

At 11- a bit too early for stove tops and hot/sharp things?

What do you think they do in food tech at secondary school?!

PigletJohn · 02/05/2017 16:55

nice to see he takes an interest in food shopping as well.

I think a whiteboard will be handy for that soy sauce and sugar.

PolynesianGirl · 02/05/2017 16:59

Yep, if you are in the uk he will have Food tech lessons where he will be taught how to do a few simple dishes.

It's. Totally ok for him to cook at 11yo. Seriously, last year my DC (who was 10yo) cooked the meal for me and a friend of mine as he was fed up of waiting for us. Simple meal of past and home made tomato sauce but still involved the cooker, knifes etc... it's fine!!

As for him being a foodie.... maybe. Or maybe he has learnt from TV etc... that that sort of ingredients are 'common'. Or maybe he is just getting very spoiled.
In any case, making him cook would solve a lot of that!!

Blimey01 · 02/05/2017 17:00

I don't think 11 is too young for stoves/sharps. Sooner the better to learn how to do it safely. My 9yr old chops onions etc ( with very close supervision!) You could set time aside to do it once a week. Let him choose the recipe.
I think it's great he's interested in what he's eating. Get him more involved.
Filipino beef sounds lovely

diddl · 02/05/2017 17:00

I agree that he isn't too young.

Great that he's interested-better than no one ever having any idea of what they would like!

"Surely soya sauce and sugar are things that should always be in the house?"

Is there anything that should always be in the house??

We just buy stuff for the meals that we are intending to have!

FeedTheSharkAndItWillBite · 02/05/2017 17:00

At 11- a bit too early for stove tops and hot/sharp things? As I said, he's not particularly "mature"

Not at all. Especially not if you supervise him, at least imo.

Why would the neighbours or other parents have a negative reaction to this? I mean... What?!

If he never learns how to cook... What will he do when he moves out? Ok, DH didn't know and ate horribly for some time. And then taught himself and is now a great cook/foodie.

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 17:06

We're in Canada. Grew up in the UK, except for secondary. So I must have skipped food tech.

No home economics or food tech here. There's a choice of band or IT from 11 onwards.

OP posts:
MongerTruffle · 02/05/2017 17:06

Food tech is the new version of cookery.

LittleBoyBlue91 · 02/05/2017 17:08

@Evelight Food Technology is a branch of Design Technology that is currently taught in most schools - some better than others. When i was at a 'good' state school in 00's it required making things like shepherds pie, curry, victoria sponge cakes etc in year 7, moving onto breads. choux pastry, quiches etc in year 8. Further up in school when it becomes an optional subject, the expectation is design and cook meals from creativity and knowledge instead of using recipes. It was an incredibly popular subject, gave a welcome break to purely academic subjects and meant those who followed it through to 16 left being a proficient cook.

LittleBoyBlue91 · 02/05/2017 17:09

Oh that's a shame Canada doesn't offer it, it's very useful and fun for the kids.

Babywearinggeek · 02/05/2017 17:10

I used to ask questions like this and still like to know what I'm eating if we go to someone else's house. I also don't like eating at new restaurants and always check the menu beforehand if possible. I'm a bit of a fussy eater but mostly it's just anxiety about food. Could it be that? Husband laughs at me because I analyse my food before every bite to find the 'best' bit. I didn't even realise til he pointed it out. I'd also like to point out its not an eating disorder I just don't like being surprised by food 😂

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/05/2017 17:11

Yeah, I started cooking at 11. Get him his own pinny and get cracking! Does sound like he is interested in food. And yeah, if he doesn't like what you're making, tell him he's perfectly welcome to make something else (for everyone, not just himself).

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 17:12

@LittleBoyBlue

Wow- that sounds incredible, and I am jealous. And yeah definitely wish my kids (and myself) were taught all that instead of some other purely random-sounding stuff they are being taught atm.

I wonder why it never caught on here?

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 02/05/2017 17:14

Oh definitely get him cooking then, OP - he will love it.

One meal a week - weekends if you have more time then - he picks the recipe, writes out the ingredients, and you cook it together.

One meal a week you make super simple and let him get on it with by himself, with minimal instruction i.e. pasta with tomato sauce and a salad.

You can't learn knife skills without being trusted to use a knife, and stove tops are pretty simple really - don't touch hot pans etc.

My DC are much younger, and like other PPs cook more at a younger age - we made apple pie at the weekend from scratch so youngest made pastry, rubbed in butter & flour, rolled out, measured ingredients etc.Oldest read the recipe, weighed and measured, chopped apples and stirred at the stove. All great practice. Try it!

Westray · 02/05/2017 17:16

OOH you have a foodie!

Very exiting.

We are all foodies in this house, kids were cooking and using sharp knives from the age of 4.
At 12 cooking whole meals. DS loves to cook Korean, DD seafood and Japanese are her favourites, but they can cook pretty much everything.

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 17:16

@Babywearingeek: Yes! i think he definitely has that "anxiety about food", and he does the analysing each bite "to make sure there are no onions in there". Drives me crazy.

OP posts:
Batteriesallgone · 02/05/2017 17:18

Surely he plays sports that have the same level of injury risk - I'm thinking rugby and such? And the benefit of those is nowhere near the benefit of learning how to cook, meal plan, shop to a meal plan (and budget, shoehorn some financial management in there), and take responsibility for making healthy choices about food.

He's risking a cut or a burn that is unlikely to be serious in order to gain long term life skills. Seems a no brainer to me.

Gatehouse77 · 02/05/2017 17:19

I would second the meal plan idea and getting him actively involved in both the decisions and the cooking.

I began meal planning for a few reasons. Primarily because I felt I was just cooking the same 7-10 meals in rotation and I was getting both bored and lazy. Secondly, to improve the good old supermarket experience and cost. Lastly, to get the kids involved - they will suggest at least one meal a week.

Westray · 02/05/2017 17:19

My kids had cookery at secondary school but the levels were pitiful. Aimed at kids who have never cooked at home.