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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS11 seems "unreasonably" interested in what's for dinner/lunch. Or AIBU?

120 replies

Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:10

Unfailingly he asks what is for dinner, often following up with what is for dinner tomorrow and sometimes even the day after. He reacts to whatever it is- happily or sadly- and if he doesn't like it complains a fair amount until i tell him to knock it off. He asks for specific lunches, going so far as to specify the type of bread (not just white or brown, but a specific brand of white). He asks for deep-fried chicken nuggets as opposed to oven-baked- and is willing to enter an exhausting discussion about it. Yesterday, we had a conversation like this:
-Can you make that Filipino beef dish for dinner again?
-umm that needs soya sauce and sugar, and we're out
-Surely soya sauce and sugar are things that should always be in the house?

And I was like whaaa?

He is not a particularly "mature" or "thoughtful" child otherwise- stereotypical boy running around, mostly interested in his video games and sports. I am finding his concern with his food a bit exhausting and annoying. Also maybe greedy? I dunno, I just wish he would eat without a commentary, and without increasing, it feels like, instructions.

OP posts:
Fruitcocktail6 · 02/05/2017 16:33

At 11- a bit too early for stove tops and hot/sharp things?

Gosh, I work in Montessori education and we get them chopping and preparing food aged 3. It's really easy to make age appropriate, he doesn't have to flambé or prepare a hog roast.

alfagirl73 · 02/05/2017 16:34

Has he expressed an interest in cooking? See if he wants to get involved in meal planning and in cooking meals... if he's interested, then that says to me he's a foodie and budding chef or restaurant critic! Perhaps see if there are any junior cooking classes or the like that he could get involved in - this would help him with developing his sense of flavours... what works well together etc... and indulge his interest in food.

akkakk · 02/05/2017 16:35

def. not too young - just look at junior masterchef!
sounds wonderful if you can train him to take over Grin

grannytomine · 02/05/2017 16:35

My son got like this about the same age, he started cooking and now hehas left home I miss the lovely things he made. You might have a very positive outcome to this.

Neolara · 02/05/2017 16:37

11 is absolutely not too young to cook. My 10 year old has been cooking cakes largely by himself since he was 7. My 12 yo regularly cooks us curries and other full meals. Definitely get him cooking. I can thoroughly recommend Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food as an easy, age appropriate cook book. I'm veggie, but my meat-eating kids think all the recipies in it are awesome.

NewView · 02/05/2017 16:37

Mine all started cooking meals about that age- one made spaghetti bolognese and showed no further interest. The other two do lots of baking and make meals. Definitely not too young to start cooking properly. Possibly also he's about to grow and frequently starving.
If you don't let him have a go now he won't be interested when you think it's time he learned how .

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:37

haha we DO watch a daily food show called "tastemade" as a family-on Snapchat - it's only 10 minute- it's where I got the Filipino beef thing from.

Are there any Filipinos on here who can vouch for the authenticity of that recipe? Now I'm curious!

He;s not exactly rude, merely comes across as repetitive/ nagging.

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 02/05/2017 16:38

+toss the rice with melted butter in which more minced garlic is browned.*

Sorry, do you mean boiled rice?

Chasingsquirrels · 02/05/2017 16:39

No way is 11 too young.

My 11yo ds is keen to do kitchen things, but usually baking etc - I'd let him get on with it but he usually wants my involvement, or just to talk to me.
Both he and 14yo ds will do snacks - sandwiches, scrabbled eggs or omelette, toasted sandwich, beans on toast type of things.
Both will help in the kitchen when asked.

I'm just about to make Wednesdays the boys cooking day, they can alternate so they each do it once a fortnight. I tried with ds1 last year but then DH got ill and life went to pot.
I'm thinking they can choose a meal and do it a few times so they get proficient at it, then chose another one. As it will only be once a fortnight it won't be too repetitive.

AngelicaSchuylerChurch · 02/05/2017 16:41

11 is plenty old enough. I was a very nerdy child and had a best friend who was equally nerdy. We did a dinner party for our parents when we were about 8.

donquixotedelamancha · 02/05/2017 16:42

"Huh. I never thought of actually getting him to cook. At 11- a bit too early for stove tops and hot/sharp things?"

My 3yo 'cooks'. Obviously you'll still supervise with the really dangerous stuff, but 11 is far from too young. At school he'll be expected to be able to follow a simple recipe by now.

picklemepopcorn · 02/05/2017 16:42

Mmm, thanks evelight!

11 isn't too young for stoves and knives. He can work alongside you, pass things and do a bit of easy chopping and stirring until he is more experienced. The pepper pieces might be a bit uneven for a while but he'll soon pick it up.

LittleBoyBlue91 · 02/05/2017 16:42

How is 11 too young for stoves and knives? Does he not have to do food tech at secondary school? With 15-20 kids in a tech room, 1 teacher and a TA they most certainly do not get 1:1 supervision, and they cook proper things that require lots of knives and ovens. No wonder all these parents come on here complaining about their older teens who wont do anything and are lazy. Its because parents insisted on wrapping them in cotton wool for way too long so they've never actually learnt

UppityHumpty · 02/05/2017 16:43

My 8yo dd is similar. She has a really developed palatte. I got her to cook some meal so she would appreciate the work we do - seems to have backfired. She's grown even more determined about food, to the point where she's now responsible for Saturday brunch. She's good though so I can't complain.

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:43

Yes- sorry, cooked rice. It works better if the rice is a bit stale eg day old leftovers. Fresh cooked rice tends to "clump" , or maybe thats just my cooking skills.

Hmmm at all the suggestions to set him to work in the kitchen. Maybe I'll try it. My mind boggles at the picture of him at the stove!

OP posts:
UppityHumpty · 02/05/2017 16:43

My 8yo dd is similar. She has a really developed palatte. I got her to cook some meal so she would appreciate the work we do - seems to have backfired. She's grown even more determined about food, to the point where she's now responsible for Saturday brunch. She's good though so I can't complain.

HappyFlappy · 02/05/2017 16:44

Oooh! A mini-gourmet!

You sound as though you are going to be lucky - my son was like this and is now a fabulous cook. He makes me special meals on my birthday. It's lovely!

user1471495191 · 02/05/2017 16:44

My two year old helps with food prep - rolling pastry, eggwashing, mixing, stirring, peeling eggs, picking out ingredients, shopping. We have made pies, cakes, burgers, salads together. I think I was shutting my parents out of the kitchen and making recipes independently by your son's age. I remember confidently telling my mum I was making profiteroles, and despite her scepticism, they actually turned out pretty well.

RueDeDay · 02/05/2017 16:45

I cooked once a week from the age of 10. He'll be fine! Make sure he gives you a couple of days notice of what he wants to cook and what ingredients are missing (his job to check) then you can make sure everything is there on the day. Also his job to do the washing up, to save on the 'different spoon each time I stir' method of cooking.

WorknameJimEllis · 02/05/2017 16:46

My 6yo bakes under supervision

I most definitely do not bake. My mum teaches her.

She is really interested in cooking and baking. My aim is to absolve myself of ALL kitchen duties by the time she is 11

hudyerwheesht · 02/05/2017 16:47

Buy a meal planner, write the whole week's menu on there and pin up/stick to fridge to deal with all the questions/complaints in one go.
I used a magnetic pad that you can just tear off and write the new menu on every week (think I got it from Amazon).
I bought it because I was sick of the "what's for tea?" question every day and I did find when it was up there, all planned out for all to see, I got had fewer conversations about it - almost as if once it was written up it was non negotiable!

In fact, you've reminded me I need a new one - I got through the whole pad and now that its not up there I'm back to the daily question.

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:47

what is "food tech" and what kind of school offers it? Never heard of it before. Neither me nor my kids nor anybody else I know cooked at school?

not saying it's a bad idea though! Just imagining how parents in my neighbourhood would react to it- last time they were having a go during some parent/teacher meeting about the kids not being familiar enough with ipads or how to use "the cloud"!

OP posts:
Camomila · 02/05/2017 16:48

Evelight sounds pretty authentic to me (DHs family are from the Philippines)

DH does a similar dish but he uses pork belly. Also if you fancy jazzing up your beef dish the beef PILs tend to serve at family parties is like an Asian take on beef stew with chunks of carrot, potato and red pepper :)

Original poster
Evelight · 02/05/2017 16:49

meal planner sounds like a good idea! Will give it a try.

OP posts:
StarryIllusion · 02/05/2017 16:51

I knew how the hob worked well before I was his age. Of course he isn't too young.