DS11 seems "unreasonably" interested in what's for dinner/lunch. Or AIBU?

[Evelight]

Unfailingly he asks what is for dinner, often following up with what is for dinner tomorrow and sometimes even the day after. He reacts to whatever it is- happily or sadly- and if he doesn't like it complains a fair amount until i tell him to knock it off. He asks for specific lunches, going so far as to specify the type of bread (not just white or brown, but a specific brand of white). He asks for deep-fried chicken nuggets as opposed to oven-baked- and is willing to enter an exhausting discussion about it. Yesterday, we had a conversation like this:
-Can you make that Filipino beef dish for dinner again?
-umm that needs soya sauce and sugar, and we're out
-Surely soya sauce and sugar are things that should always be in the house?

And I was like whaaa?

He is not a particularly "mature" or "thoughtful" child otherwise- stereotypical boy running around, mostly interested in his video games and sports. I am finding his concern with his food a bit exhausting and annoying. Also maybe greedy? I dunno, I just wish he would eat without a commentary, and without increasing, it feels like, instructions.

BTW OP, could I have your Philippino beef recipe? Sounds nice.

"My nephew does this. We have come to the conclusion that it is about control. It's his way of feeling in control of what's happening / going to happen. His life has a lot of turmoil at the moment (Dad left home), so I guess he feels there is a lot of instability. What he eats or does not eat is a small part of his life he can control. This may not apply to your DS though."

Yup totally. Down to the father leaving home :(

My DC were always involved with the weekly meal planner ... we all had to think of meals and write the ingredients needed on the 'list' made shopping easier especially when they did it online for me and yes at the age of 11.

Definitely old enough to prepare meals ... you may want to be near when cooking but do encourage his enthusiasm especially for cooking from scratch. My DS was always interested and has fed his uni friends and is great at improvising ... definitely a plus when they move out!!

Go for it !

@westray Copied and pasted from above: "The Filipino beef is actually quite yummy and if you have the rice prepared, literally takes about 20 min. It's basically strip beef, salted and peppered, stirfried, add sugar, soya sauce and mince garlic and let simmer until the sugar melts. Meanwhile, toss the rice with melted butter in which more minced garlic is browned.
It's become a staple since its discover on the internet. I have no idea if Filipinos actually eat this or not?"

Good to hear you're going to start getting him involved OP

It'll be more work for you for a while to teach him knife skills, how to tell if meat is cooked etc, but learning to cook is a major life skill, and eventually you'll be able to give him more responsibility and less supervision

TBH I also usually would have soy sauce and sugar in the house (by no means a foodie, if you hadn't guessed already)- it is slightly unusual that we are currently out of both items.

Maybe you should start teaching him to cook but do it together till he is mature enough. Do it once a week and let him choose the menu. That way he gets some control over his food.

You say it should be day old rice - isn't it dangerous to reheat rice?

I don't think it's cheeky or greedy to ask what's for dinner, though he obviously shouldn't be arguing with you about it. I don't really understand why you'd just want him to shut up and eat without any comment - surely that kind of discussion is just normal every day family interaction? Very few people these days think children should be seen or not heard, unless it's about food, seemingly.

You say it should be day old rice - isn't it dangerous to reheat rice?

It's more the hanging around in a tubberqare or whatever while your waiting for it to cool rather then the reheating , if you cool it down quickly then straight in the fridge then heat up properly the next day it will be fine.

Definitely get him cooking, it's not early at all, a bit late if anything imho.

A friends son was like this as a kid, it drove her nuts at times too. He's a successful chef now

Ok, that's good to know, thanks. I don't each much rice, I'd just heard reheating wasn't advised.

I'd get him one of these, or the paper tear off ones. As others have said he is a good age to be cooking and meal planning.

www.wilko.com/sticky-notes+memo-pads/wilko-weekly-planner-set/invt/0349365#fullDesc

Interesting and informative thread!

Evelight hope it goes/went well!

"Yup totally. Down to the father leaving home"

Sorry/delighted-** to hear that mate.

(**delete as applicable)

Having a budding Gordon Ramsey is probably the last thing you can be bothered with right now, but with a bit of effort it could be a great bonding opportunity for you both in a difficult time.

Good luck xx

This made me laugh. My DD is 11 and is obsessed with food. Loves helping me make things like risotto (or as I call, leftovers dinner where all the bits of veg etc are cooked up into one meal). She can now operate the cooker herself, can use a knife properly and safely, measures stuff out, reads instructions, and is getting pretty good learning the basics.

She also wants to know whats for dinner as she's leaving for school and sometimes I'll ask her to choose something (always have a stock of stuff in the freezer meat-wise) and she normally wants stew or risotto or pie.

That's such a shame that Canada doesn't do food tech lessons, I thought they were pretty much standard everywhere. I learned ALL my basic cooking skills at school, my parents were far too busy/uninterested in teaching me. DH meanwhile can manage nothing more complex than beans on toast because his parents were the same and he didn't have food tech after 2nd year of secondary.
I was delighted to see a primary school recently with a fully fitted food tech room (looked like several of those play kitchens -stuck together - aww!), my DC never had one at their school. I'm determined to make sure they can cook by the time they leave home and this thread has actually inspired me to teach my DS some skills. Like the OP I was nervous of hot stoves, knives, etc - my DS has ADHD, making his distracted daydreaming a bit of a liability in the kitchen but having read this thread I think I need to get on with teaching him.

Anyway, massively digressed there, good thread OP, hope you get some relief from the whole food anxiety thing soon, I know it can be a drain.

Hud - my DS dyspraxic and ADHD - was very impressed at himself making beans on toast so don't have to start with complex things! I find chopping stressful as he is so badly co-ordinated and distracted) but yes is good for him and his control needs too....
Tins with ringpulls have been a great invention as tin openers are suprisingly complicated ...and being able to tell him to make some toast for himself has been liberating - scrambled egg in the microwave is also good as 30secs blasts so he cant over do it!

sorry for the distraction OP but it could be a positive thing - batch cook with him and then he can pick the dinner from the freezer when neither of you feel like doing the cooking...

DS is like that but I blame MasterChef.