To be resentful of DH after only a week of sharing a bedroom again?

[Writerwannabe83]

For the last 18 months or so me and DH have had separate bedrooms for various reasons and it has been heavenly.

We would spend our evenings together, move to his room for film/tv/sex/chilling or whatever and then when it came to going to bed I would head off to my room.

However, I'm now pregnant with DC2 and to cut a long story short, to make way for our upcoming arrival me and DH are now back in the same bedroom and it's driving me MAD!

He moved into 'my' room about a week ago and I'm finding the transition back to sharing a room at night really difficult. The first night we shared the room again I ended up migrating to our toddlers room at about 2am because I just couldn't cope with DH's tossing, turning and snoring.

Since that first night he's spent a further two nights on the sofa because he knows he's keeping me awake at night.

It's currently 00.50am and I'm wide awake drinking a cup of tea after DH has yet again made his way to the sofa because I find it impossible to sleep when he's next to me. His snoring is so irritating, he makes loads of annoying sleep noises and even the sound of his loud heavy sleeping breathing grates on me. I lie awake, tired but unable to sleep and I feel myself just getting more and more annoyed.

Every now and then tonight he'd stir, realise I was still awake and say, "How come you aren't asleep darling?" and I would feel like screaming.

I miss my own space, I miss being able to have early nights if I want them, I miss being able to sit up and read a book if I want to and I miss being able to fall asleep in the peace and quiet and know I'm going to have a restful sleep.

I'm actually having to take 2 hourly naps in the afternoon now to make up for the fact that I can't sleep at night now we're room sharing again. I'm so tired.

I'm pretty sure he's missing having his own room too and I think he feels bad that he's preventing me from getting a good night sleep anymore.

I can't bear the thought of this being long-term. I obviously love the bones of DH but I just can't see how this is going to work. Perhaps I should give it more time for me to get used to sharing again and hope I can learn to drown out all his fidgeting and snoring but I'm worried it's just going to cause arguments and rifts between us.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just exhausted and frustrated and needed to rant

No, I meant get a mattress where you don't worry about YOUR restless legs (I think you mentioned that earlier).

Why don't you bring ahead the date that the playroom becomes your DS's bedroom? Then you turn the other top room into the baby room, but also put a bed / day bed in there for you. Is there room?

I sleep on a different floor to DD and it's fine. You can stairgate the stairs if you're worried.

OMG!!!!! My DH was diagnosed with coeliac 6 months ago. He feels like he's falling apart

Try bananas and tonic water for your legs - sadly no gin atm.
Muffles wax ear plugs from Boots are fantastic.
Also don't feel guilty for stretching your legs, you can't help it.

Try bananas and tonic water for your legs

Won't the sheets get all gunky?

Re coeliac disease, a lot of people are asymptomatic or atypical symptoms, ie not digestive. Mouth ulcers and being subject to loads of bugs is still consistent w cd. And apparently snoring isn't as unusual a symptom as you might think:
www.celiac.com/gluten-free/topic/42412-snoring-as-a-1st-symptom-of-gluten-exposure/
www.celiac.com/gluten-free/topic/38191-stopped-snoring/

DH needs to keep eating gluten if he's going to be tested. Some people try being gluten-free w good intentions but it can result in false negative test results. You may also want to ask for DCs to be tested.

Boots Muffles wax ear plugs are amazing! I don't bother w the foam kind anymore. Apropos of nothing, our dog once ate a whole box of them, cardboard and all.

I would sell the house, its no good for a young family

Wow I didn't know snoring was a possible symptom of coeliac!!!
OP, I hope you can persuade him to see the gp as a few simple tests could change all of your lives. But I know some people don't want to see the gp unless they are dying

If only it was that easy.

Prior to trying to conceive my DH said we could either move house OR have another baby, my choice, as we can't afford both

Definitely get the sofa bed !! My ex (not the reason he's ex) would snore and fidget and I couldn't get a wink of sleep, we ended up getting a fancy self inflatable bed for the living room that was actually really comfy as we couldn't afford a new sofa at the time.
We had tried all the methods out the chemist as we didn't want to sleep apart, but had to, to prevent a murder !!

OP Is it a condition that can just worsen over time?

Yes it is and it can also start at any point in life. Its also true that some things can make it worse (weight, drinking, erratic sleep habits, stress amongst others)

If he won't take it seriously point out that bad cases can be life limiting if not dealt with he has DC to think about. DH was also a doctor avoider and when he was assessed by the sleep clinic he was having multiple instances of stopping breathing per hour. Fortunately he went before either the apnoea or I killed him

And again what did he say when you to him about this?!

Why don't you bring ahead the date that the playroom becomes your DS's bedroom? Then you turn the other top room into the baby room, but also put a bed / day bed in there for you. Is there room?

I think this is what's going to have to happen actually. Mind you, last night he didn't snore at all.

The top room (DS's current room) is your standard Third Bedroom size I think. At the moment there is a toddler bed in there, his wardrobe, a large chest of drawers, a unit with his books in and a small chair.

The room is quite long but it's relatively narrow so alongside a baby's cot there wouldn't be room for a sofa bed but we could put a single mattress in there or a camp bed type thing.

DS didn't go into his own room until he was about 10 months old so maybe this time round maybe me and baby could move in their together at an earlier age and I could sleep on the mattress/camp bed and leave DH in the main bedroom.