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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - dog attack :-(

128 replies

anonymoosy · 01/05/2017 19:38

Sorry this is long, but I’m honestly feeling traumatised. I don’t usually get this upset and I need some help with advice and whether I was BU.

We’ve been a bit stir-crazy this weekend due to having to stay in the house for various reasons, so I suggested a big family walk with the dog today, somewhere we haven’t been before (Nat Trust).
We’re about 15mins into the walk, having a nice time, dog on a lead (as he always is – no recall) and bumping along with other families and dogs. So far, so nice.
Our dog is a knee-size fluffy family pet. Walking down the path I see another similar size dog, continue walking past as normal, and the dog runs over to ours and I see it is on a lead, but one of those long retractable leads that hasn’t been pulled in, so essentially, it’s not under any kind of control. It bounds up to ours and then goes snarling straight for him – straight for his neck and no messing around. It’s a Staffie and I admit, I freeze because I’m terrified if I pull, I’ll injure my dog and DC are watching and I shout for my husband to get them apart and want to go and get the children away. But I’ve frozen.
Thank god our dog has ridiculously thick fur, and bless him he stood his ground as much as he could without getting into the fight, just trying to get away.
People were standing around watching and from the other family, the dad and my DH jumped in to separate them and untangle the leads. I thought my dog was a goner.

Ok – so here’s my bit. I’m horrified because I froze then completely snapped, lost my temper and shouted at the dog and then the man to ‘get your dog of my dog’ and then something utterly ridiculous like ‘how dare you let your dog attack my dog’ – I was so scared and panicking and felt so fecking helpless I was angrier than I’ve ever been before. I was volcanic.
I could hear him and my DH being reasonably calm once they had got the dogs apart, and he was saying ‘he’s never done this before’.
I said something like ‘you should keep your dog under control’ but then his wife said ‘ I told you to keep walking on’. I think it was the adrenaline, but I’m completely not usually like this, but I squared up to her as I thought this was completely rude – and shouted ‘how could I? Your dog had a hold of my dog’. She then made out it wouldn’t have happened if I moved on. I was fuming that she could even suggest it was my fault. I might have shouted something like ‘how dare you tell me what I should do – your dog attacked mine’.
My DH guided me away and told me the man had apologised, and then the other man then shouted at me ‘look, I’ve said twice I was sorry.’
I calmed down a bit and said a very angry thank you, but that was not what his wife was saying, but DH pulled me on and I knew it was better if I just walked on as I didn’t want the children to see all of this.
Thankfully my doggy is okay, and further down the track (I was in tears) the man shouted to ask if our dog was okay.
I powered on. But it was so horrible, and I was scared the DCs were about to be bitten or see their dog ripped to pieces, added to the fact people were staring at me crying, I feel totally and utterly traumatised. I’m also angry that DH made me walk on when I frankly wanted to read the riot act to the woman, I can’t get past feeling upset. I now feel completely traumatised and keep bursting into tears and getting angry. I can’t believe I turned shouty and angry – it’s not like me AT ALL.
How do I get past this? I feel like I never want to be around other dogs again. Has this happened to you and how did you deal with it? It scares me that if I was on my own I'd have struggled to act.

AIBU to have had an angry shouty reaction like this and what can I do now? I'm fine and then it all keeps making me get cross/cry.

OP posts:
fortheloveofcats · 01/05/2017 19:48

I think you were quite restrained.

mrscrocopop · 01/05/2017 19:50

I'm sorry this happened, it sound extremely frightening.

You are not unreasonable for shouting; when we are really scared we go into fight, flight or freeze mode. Sounds like you froze and then went into fight mode. Totally understandable; I'd probably go mental too! Xx

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 01/05/2017 19:51

You were incredibly restrained.

Most people would've decked her.

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2017 19:53

YA completely NBU.
My mum had her dog attacked by a much bigger dog in front of her. She is normally very calm and in control. She just screamed and screamed in horror.
Can you walk away from other dogs for a bit? Go to places where dogs have to be on a short lead or to dog training etc classes where all interactions are monitored.
I'm so sorry OP. I hope you and dog are ok. Flowers

wheresthel1ght · 01/05/2017 19:53

I am with cats you were very restrained!

Wine and deep breaths are a good calming method. Thank God your dog is OK! I have no advice but you were right to challenge them.

WellErrr · 01/05/2017 19:54

Yep. Restrained. I'd have walloped the little fucker.

A dog attacked my horse recently whilst I was riding. The owner was a fuckwit and the air was blue (from me).
Scary though isn't it? Hope you're all ok

anonymoosy · 01/05/2017 19:56

Thanks so much everyone. Genuinely. I'm in tears. I think I scared myself! I've never lost it like that before. And in front of the DC.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 01/05/2017 19:57

Totally normal. I wouldn't say boo to a goose usually, really non-confrontational, but a 6'3" man once threatened my younger brother and I was like a woman possessed - got all shouty and up in his face which, honestly, my DH still can't believe because I'm so placid most of the time! Adrenaline does weird things. You poor thing - what a horrible experience and awful that she blamed you. I hope your wee pup is okay.

WhooooAmI24601 · 01/05/2017 19:59

I'd take your dog to have a quick checkup if you possibly can this week; our spaniel was attacked in a similar situation three or four years ago and seemed fine afterwards. I didn't think to take her to the vet then a couple of days later it turned out the other dog had punctured her skin and it formed an abscess underneath that made her incredibly unwell.

When it happened to ours, I went absolutely nuts and demanded his address and phone number, which I rang in front of him to prove it was the right one; the man effed and jeffed about "he's usually muzzled, I just forgot". Initially I left it and said I'd be in touch. Once we realised the extent of her injury I made him pay the vets bills and informed the police. It was awful to watch and as a result our dog took even longer to become calm and happy in the presence of other dogs (she's a rescue so came to us with issues already ingrained).

You could phone the NT place and ask if there's CCTV of the car park; if you can find his car reg no perhaps you could call 111 and give that to them to see if they could follow it up; it sounds very much as though the owners are irresponsible fools who'll be allowing it to happen again though.

Our dog socialises well now; after the attack we took very slow, steady walks close to home for a good while to get her confidence up again. Flowers for you and your dog. It's an awful thing to happen.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 01/05/2017 20:03

I think moving on was the right thing to do since your dog is OK. I ride horses and have been attacked loads of times but fortunately no one has ever been injured.
If it ever happens again, kick the other dog with your foot or use a walking stick or cane if you are carrying one.

DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 01/05/2017 20:04

The male owner may have apologised twice but the woman was insistent on being a twat about it and blaming you and your dog. No wonder you saw red. They were totally, utterly and irredeemably in the wrong.

anonymoosy · 01/05/2017 20:04

Thanks. I felt like I should have taken a photo or details, but DH was ushering me on, I guess to avoid a bigger scene. I'll check my dog again, but thank god I'm late grooming him and he's got a thicker layer of fur than usual. I can't believe how brave he was. I'm so proud of him! (He seems completely less traumatised than me).

OP posts:
isadoradancing123 · 01/05/2017 20:06

You are far more restrained than I would have been

anonymoosy · 01/05/2017 20:06

Crumbs, I can't imagine how scary it must be when you're on a horse and being attacked.

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 01/05/2017 20:09

Another one who thinks you were very restrained.

I was involved in a dog attack a few years ago - I don't have a dog but ex and I were out walking with the DC and two older men were walking a small dog that was set upon by two loose dogs one of whom who had him by the throat and would not let go. The men tried to intervene and one was bitten so I sent ex to a distance with the DC and leapt in to try to help as everyone was just filming on their phones! It took some time and the attendance of the police but we managed to free the little dog and contain the loose dogs who were taken by the dog warden. I was not injured but only because I moved fast enough to avoid a bite.

It was incredibly traumatic and I would not go back to that location for a long time, and it wasn't even my dog! I still remember the noise the little dog was making in fear. I was also upset by the force I had to use against the loose dogs to make them let go of the little ones throat and feel terrible about it.

Maybe spend some time walking in areas where there will be fewer dogs or where they are required to be on a close lead, to help you get over it? Or find a dog activity centre if there's one near you - we have one here.
Flowersfor you and your DDog, I hope he's ok x

ThymeLord · 01/05/2017 20:09

You were hugely restrained OP. When my dog got attacked last year I was like a furious mad woman.

I bloody hate people who use extend leads and don't feel their dogs back in.

Hope your doggy is ok.

ThymeLord · 01/05/2017 20:09

*reel

ZilphasHatpin · 01/05/2017 20:09

I agree you were restrained. My dog is my baby and I am a real softie animal lover but I make no apologies about the fact that I would would be a kicking screaming mess if any dog attacked him. Blush

Batgirlspants · 01/05/2017 20:10

Bloody hell op I would have kicked the dog and possibly the owner too. My dog is my baby. You were incredibly restrained

Batgirlspants · 01/05/2017 20:11

Xpost there Zil Grin

springflowers11 · 01/05/2017 20:13

I think getting into rage and screaming in someones face is never right especially not in front of children, but it's done now so move on.

Pleasemrstweedie · 01/05/2017 20:13

In my view a dog on an extending lead is not a dog under control.

Ihaveabloodyheadache · 01/05/2017 20:14

I think your continued reaction may be a bit exaggerated, but not unreasonable at all. Your dog was attacked and then you were blamed for that! I'm not surprised you went volcanic, and as pp have said, you were quite restrained IMO!
If you were holding the lead then it's more frightening, because you're attached to 2 dogs fighting!
I'm glad your dog is OK and that no damage was done. How are your DC's feeling about it now? It's hard when you're in a situation where your adrenaline is kick started into overdrive and you have to act but freeze, you sound like me, I cry in situations like that, and it infuriates me because I'm more angry than anything else!
I've been in similar situations of knob heads not controlling their dogs and then mine being on leads and on the receiving end of aggression, mine are small and I pick them up sometimes and I've been scratched and bitten by another med sized dog trying to get to mine. Shook me up.
I have started walking them at times and in places where I know there will be few other dogs about because I was worried me or my dogs would get hurt. I shouldn't have to but I do it to keep us safe.
Try that or having DH or DDad with you for a while if possible, don't let one idiot ruin what should be a nice and relaxing time.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 01/05/2017 20:16

I get really shouty and 'deaf' when I'm in a blind panic. Yes we could all deal with some things better but that's the glory of hindsight isn't it. I'm so pleased your pup is ok and the children too. I hope you're ok OP.

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 01/05/2017 20:16

YANBU at all. I think I would have reacted very similarly.

I would probably still get him checked out just to be on the safe side though. My poor cat has just been treated for an abcess caused by a fox bite. It didn't look like much but it was actually really nasty (full of pus) and he became unwell very quickly.