AIBU - dog attack :-(

[anonymoosy]

Sorry this is long, but I’m honestly feeling traumatised. I don’t usually get this upset and I need some help with advice and whether I was BU.

We’ve been a bit stir-crazy this weekend due to having to stay in the house for various reasons, so I suggested a big family walk with the dog today, somewhere we haven’t been before (Nat Trust).
We’re about 15mins into the walk, having a nice time, dog on a lead (as he always is – no recall) and bumping along with other families and dogs. So far, so nice.
Our dog is a knee-size fluffy family pet. Walking down the path I see another similar size dog, continue walking past as normal, and the dog runs over to ours and I see it is on a lead, but one of those long retractable leads that hasn’t been pulled in, so essentially, it’s not under any kind of control. It bounds up to ours and then goes snarling straight for him – straight for his neck and no messing around. It’s a Staffie and I admit, I freeze because I’m terrified if I pull, I’ll injure my dog and DC are watching and I shout for my husband to get them apart and want to go and get the children away. But I’ve frozen.
Thank god our dog has ridiculously thick fur, and bless him he stood his ground as much as he could without getting into the fight, just trying to get away.
People were standing around watching and from the other family, the dad and my DH jumped in to separate them and untangle the leads. I thought my dog was a goner.

Ok – so here’s my bit. I’m horrified because I froze then completely snapped, lost my temper and shouted at the dog and then the man to ‘get your dog of my dog’ and then something utterly ridiculous like ‘how dare you let your dog attack my dog’ – I was so scared and panicking and felt so fecking helpless I was angrier than I’ve ever been before. I was volcanic.
I could hear him and my DH being reasonably calm once they had got the dogs apart, and he was saying ‘he’s never done this before’.
I said something like ‘you should keep your dog under control’ but then his wife said ‘ I told you to keep walking on’. I think it was the adrenaline, but I’m completely not usually like this, but I squared up to her as I thought this was completely rude – and shouted ‘how could I? Your dog had a hold of my dog’. She then made out it wouldn’t have happened if I moved on. I was fuming that she could even suggest it was my fault. I might have shouted something like ‘how dare you tell me what I should do – your dog attacked mine’.
My DH guided me away and told me the man had apologised, and then the other man then shouted at me ‘look, I’ve said twice I was sorry.’
I calmed down a bit and said a very angry thank you, but that was not what his wife was saying, but DH pulled me on and I knew it was better if I just walked on as I didn’t want the children to see all of this.
Thankfully my doggy is okay, and further down the track (I was in tears) the man shouted to ask if our dog was okay.
I powered on. But it was so horrible, and I was scared the DCs were about to be bitten or see their dog ripped to pieces, added to the fact people were staring at me crying, I feel totally and utterly traumatised. I’m also angry that DH made me walk on when I frankly wanted to read the riot act to the woman, I can’t get past feeling upset. I now feel completely traumatised and keep bursting into tears and getting angry. I can’t believe I turned shouty and angry – it’s not like me AT ALL.
How do I get past this? I feel like I never want to be around other dogs again. Has this happened to you and how did you deal with it? It scares me that if I was on my own I'd have struggled to act.

AIBU to have had an angry shouty reaction like this and what can I do now? I'm fine and then it all keeps making me get cross/cry.

This sounds horrendous for you. I'm so sorry you went through that.

I've been on the other side of this kind of. I was walking my Staff a year after we rescued her, about 6 years ago, and she had always been fine with other dogs off the lead with good recall. One day she ran up to another dog and the dog growled at her and then all of a sudden they went for each other. I honestly don't know who started it, the bloke with the dog when we had separated them said that his dog had form for being aggressive and my dog did come off worse, but his dog was on a lead and mine wasn't so I apologised.
This woman who you spoke to was obviously a dick but when your dog gets in a fight / attacks another dog you just don't know how you are going to react. I burst into tears and apologised repeatedly, she might well be regretting her response to you.
I learnt that day that dogs fight when threatened by other dogs and really we don't always know what upsets them. We had a behaviourist after that and she said my dog was essentially rude to other dogs (for example she would run up and say "Alright mate" in a dogs face rather than say "how do you do? do you mind if i could possibly sniff your bum?")
It is up to the owner to know their dog and take action accordingly. I always walk her on a short lead if there is the slightest possibility of another dog coming. My husband walks her off the lead and has never had any problems.
My point being that you are perfectly within your rights to be upset. I kept crying for days on and off. And six years on, even though my dog has never gone for another dog since and has helped me raise two children beautifully, I am still wary not to put her in a similar situation again. Its the shock and worry for the future. But your dog is okay now and these things unfortunately happen when you least expect it. Enjoy your G&T!

Don't fret re your anger - you just can't predict how you'll react in sudden/strange/traumatic circumstances. Years ago DS1 got badly injured in front of me and I turned into a she-witch from hell. I was like a woman possessed - and I'm normally pretty placid; I'm not fiery or hot-tempered at all. I just didn't recognise myself afterwards - it is really disconcerting. But also normal, so please don't worry. Glad your dog is OK.

OP I think YANBU at all, I have been bitten by 4 dogs 'who have never done anything like that before' my 1 year old daughter was nearly bitten by a dog that had 'never done anything like that before.

Fact is, it really doesn't matter if it was the first time. It won't be the last, and you were right to react the way you did. I would've called the police, that is a dangerous dog. What if the fight had ended up in one of your kids being bitten.

It's absolutely not acceptable for people to allow their pets to behave that way and for the wife to suggest it was in any way your fault is ludicrous.

It's a really traumatic thing because you are effectively powerless. I'm so glad your dog is ok, and I'm glad your family is ok too. Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have pets

I told you to keep walking on

So she told you to keep walking on, obviously pre-empting something might happen, yet the dog has never done this before? yeah I'm calling BS and I'd be letting the dog warden and local council, (do they have jurisdiction over NT land?) and anyone else I could think of know too.

I let the dog warden know about the dog who went for my DS, they let the police know too. If you don't want that to happen keep your damn dog under control in the first place. They should have had the retractable lead on the shortest leash possible to prevent this happening un the first place.

Hope you're okay OP. We had a staffie get in our garden when we lived at home that went for my mums Jack Russell. My Ex had to literally separate them with a metal pole that just happened to be lying around.

I adore dogs but not everyone does and this couple shouldn't have been walking him out in public without a muzzle of it's that aggressive.

Thank you - I'm touched you've all taken the time to tell me your own stories. It has really helped.

But that's exactly the point.

What if it was a child/ toddler? If she told the child to walk on it might not understand / register with them in time to stay calm enough to do so/carry on walking. The dog that went for my DS was on the main school run drag. I just kept thinking if it was a kid in a pram they wouldn't have got off so lightly. That owner was an arse to me too.

You acted exactly as any other owner who loves their dog would, it's is a very frightening experience, my gentle whippet was attacked 3 times within 6 weeks by strays and is now terrified of approaching dogs and is now reactive, she sounds and looks aggressive but she's just scared and trying to get the approaching dog away. Your dog will have a high level of cortisone in his system at the moment, try to take around 72 hours break from walking and spend a bit of time playing brain training games instead, and just use the garden for toileting, this will reduce cortisone levels and help to prevent your dog ' trigger stacking' .when you do go out for walks again try not to panic if you see a dog as your dog will sense it through the lead and think there is something to fear, try to stay calm and don't tighten the lead. Hopefully this will ensure your dog doesn't become reactive as a result of the attack. I wish I'd known this for my dog as I panicked and pulled her away from dogs and made her worse. Try to de stress, have a drink, read soak in the bath or do whatever you like to do to relax, you've had a shock so take care of yourself too.

You did not over-react; mix blind panic with fear & your reaction was completely in the realms of the situation. Especially thinking that your dog could have been killed in front of your children. You were reacting to the unknown.

Years ago, a dog I was looking after got attacked. It really was a terrible experience. Added to the fact that the bad dog ran up to the house..And the rest, well you can imagine the rest. It was awful. And the noise..that will stay at me forever.

To whoever, mentioned, in a very patronising way, about not being angry, especially in front of dcs, needs to get in the real world, not the robotic one.

I live in fear of this. I saw a huge pit bull mastiff type dog today at a NT park... off its lead!!!! Why???

I am not getting another dog after we lost our old girl last year. I can't face the stress of so many idiot dog walkers who won't control their bloody dogs. Mine was attacked when she was a puppy by 2 big lurcher x and despite everything we did with socialization/ dog trainers etc she was anxious around other dogs until she died aged 13. And yes she would growl if harassed but would never approach another dog and was never off short lead out and always muzzled if there were likely to be other dogs as I was never 100 % sure she wouldn't snap at them ( she didnt ) despite this there were always dogs or packs of dogs uncontrolled running up to her and hassling her. We ended up moving to a rural area where she had her own space and avoided the situation where possible but it has massively put me off dog ownership.

"The male owner may have apologised twice but the woman was insistent on being a twat about it and blaming you and your dog. No wonder you saw red. They were totally, utterly and irredeemably in the wrong."

Exactly this.

Poor you OP. Give it some time, you will feel better tomorrow. Hope your sweet doggy is ok x

This has happened to me and my dog too and I was also screaming like a banshee at the other dog's owner when managed to separate them. Not my finest moment but I was in shock, my dog was injured and I was so, so angry.

I struggle with these dog threads because my dog has been attacked MULTIPLE times. I have been in similar hysterical tears on at least three of those occasions, furious and frightened and incandescent with rage. for you.

My dog is small, has a chronic spinal condition, is in constant low grade pain, and is now extremely aggressive herself. To minimise the chances of passing another dog or person ever again in her lifetime, we only do varying laps of the park adjacent to our house at 6am every morning. This suits her and she is much calmer (as am I).

I hope your dog is okay and doesn't become nervous of other dogs. You got angry and exploded because you care for your pet - I empathise wholly.

This is my ultimate fear and I think I would react the same even though I'm not one to be openly aggressive and shouty.

Your dog is part of your family and your saw him in a threatening situation, your adrenaline and fight or flight would have kicked in, well done for fighting and letting them know what you think!

If it went for the neck it was a dominance thing not trying to kill your dog. If a dog really wants to harm another dog it will go for the legs first. Just a thought OP.

But I would still fucking verbally murder a dog owner that let their dog do that to mine!*

(And maybe physically )

I don't have a dog now because of other idiot owners but when I did I always carried a stout walking stick. I did use it a few times to protect my dog. I always had a small terrier. Horrible experience for you OP. I think you were quite restrained.

At least you didn't do what I did. Last year whilst out on a walk in a nature reserve, so dog on lead, as instructed by all the bloody great big signs saying 'conservation area, keep all dogs on leads', we passed a couple with a dog on a lead that was slathering, snarling, snapping and straining at the very end of its lead at us. We gave it a wide berth, carried on up the track only to suddenly hear it growling and barking coming up behind us. I don't know if it had slipped it's lead or if they'd let it go but it came straight for us. Well specifically for my beautiful little lab boy.

It all went a bit hazy in the following ten seconds but what I think happened was that I jumped between it and us, screaming at the top of my voice at it to get away and I got my foot underneath it and physically booted it clean across the path. It landed, stood up and just stood there looking stunned. Dh had hold of the dcs, I still had hold of the dog and the owners just stood there. Then the chap seemed to realise that something was required of him and he ran up and grabbed the dog. All I could say between gritted teeth was 'get that bloody dog on a lead'. I was so angry. They never said a word. Not a single word. Just left.

In kicking out at the other dog I pulled the muscle all the way down the back of my leg. I was in utter agony. I couldn't put any weight on it and we were a mile from the car across rough paths. I hobbled back to the car whilst dh and the dcs carried on with their bloody walk! So at least you didn't manage to injure yourself in the process. I don't recommend it. I also do think you were incredibly restrained!

I'm so sorry you've had it happen to you. It was obviously an awful shock and you're still traumatised. It really is very rare though, I know there's a lot of anecdotes on here but we're a small example of millions of dog owners. It might never happen to you again. I hope your dog is ok. I second the advice about not taking him out for a couple of days. Give him a break and then take him somewhere lovely so he's not too afraid of going out again. Or you.

I do also think it's important for children to see that when an emergency happens, you can shout or scream and in this situation it was useful in raising the alarm and alerting the owners who were being dangerous by not reacting quick or effectively. That is good for them to realise. It is much better than not reacting in most situations.

It might be worth going through scenarios with kids - what to do.

YANBU - it is a horrible thing to happen. I hope you are ok

A few years ago a big dog attacked my Sheltie (who was on a lead) and I thought it was going to kill him. I was trying to pick him up and get between them, but the dog just kept on attacking. Apparently I was screaming and shouting at the dog and the owner and people came out of their houses to help.

I managed to pick my dog up and the other dog was jumping up at me and a man grabbed his collar. It was awful, I will never forget it. I was shocked at how shouty I was but it brought people out to help and my dog was saved. I really believed the other dog would have killed him. I was so angry I could have ripped the owner to shreds.

Legally if you are frightened by someone else's dog on public property you are allowed to report them to the police. The dog will then be investigated if it is dangerous and if it is found to be will be seized under the dangerous dogs act.

OP you have every right to be upset. I've spent hours sewing dogs' necks back together from fights and it has cost the owners hundred of £s. Mainly because the cowardly owner of the dog that attacked runs away and gives no details so they can't be sued or made to pay vet bills!

My 13 yr old DD was walking my little dog just yards from our house when they were ambushed by an enormous Doberman who was notorious in the area at the time for terrorising passers by. It managed to break out of the garden gates and miraculously didn't bite; just literally terrorised them. I was so angry when the owners didn't answer my first knock at their front door that I saw red mist and kicked their door whilst teaching the respectable elderly neighbours some totally inappropriate language. Luckily it was days before we moved house so we managed to avoid ever seeing the dog (and the slightly scandalised elderly neighbours!) again. But I get you, OP. Your dog is your baby, as mine is. This involved your children too, potentially, so all of your babies! Your instinct was to protect them and that manifested as rage and then upset. That happens to the best of us in such situations and I'm sure the onlookers were as shocked as you were. You didn't over react. Give your dog a big hug from me.

Oh dear! Sorry you got a scare.

Your husband doesn't understand why you got so upset? And why you are still so upset?

Your dog, despite being "attacked" by a Staffie (who have locking jaws) is not sore and has no puncture wounds?

Any chance that this dog "mouthed" yours rather than bit? My dog does this to his doggy friends (and they do it back, sometimes growling, sometimes not). It's dominance behaviour. They do a butting action with their heads and mouth at the scruff (back) of neck.

If a dog, particularly a Staffie, wanted to rip your dog's throat out then it would aim below the chin, where the jugular is. Thick fur would not stop a Staffie leaving a puncture wound regardless of where it aimed if it intended to bite.

Do you think perhaps you may have over-reacted to this "attack"? Is this perhaps your first dog?

Could your husband have a point? Is he a more experienced dog owner? He was there too, what's his version of events?

the other women probably went into fight flight fright mode too.

YANBU - I was attacked by a Great Dane last year and was relieved it was me he got and not my dog on the lead as he'd have killed him. My usual response would've been as yours OP although with considerably more expletives but I was in shock and losing blood so I just limped calmly away once they had their dog on the lead and under control. Turning my back on their dog or walking away from the dog would have made the situation far worse for me and my dog so I totally understand not moving on. What if it had taken chase or decided to hunt? My dog is a bichon so it wouldn't have stood a chance against a Great Dane. I now have permanent scars and 9 months later my skin is still black and may never return to normal. I don't believe for a second OP that their dog hadn't shown signs of aggression before just as I don't believe it from the dog that attacked me.