AIBU - dog attack :-(

[anonymoosy]

Sorry this is long, but I’m honestly feeling traumatised. I don’t usually get this upset and I need some help with advice and whether I was BU.

We’ve been a bit stir-crazy this weekend due to having to stay in the house for various reasons, so I suggested a big family walk with the dog today, somewhere we haven’t been before (Nat Trust).
We’re about 15mins into the walk, having a nice time, dog on a lead (as he always is – no recall) and bumping along with other families and dogs. So far, so nice.
Our dog is a knee-size fluffy family pet. Walking down the path I see another similar size dog, continue walking past as normal, and the dog runs over to ours and I see it is on a lead, but one of those long retractable leads that hasn’t been pulled in, so essentially, it’s not under any kind of control. It bounds up to ours and then goes snarling straight for him – straight for his neck and no messing around. It’s a Staffie and I admit, I freeze because I’m terrified if I pull, I’ll injure my dog and DC are watching and I shout for my husband to get them apart and want to go and get the children away. But I’ve frozen.
Thank god our dog has ridiculously thick fur, and bless him he stood his ground as much as he could without getting into the fight, just trying to get away.
People were standing around watching and from the other family, the dad and my DH jumped in to separate them and untangle the leads. I thought my dog was a goner.

Ok – so here’s my bit. I’m horrified because I froze then completely snapped, lost my temper and shouted at the dog and then the man to ‘get your dog of my dog’ and then something utterly ridiculous like ‘how dare you let your dog attack my dog’ – I was so scared and panicking and felt so fecking helpless I was angrier than I’ve ever been before. I was volcanic.
I could hear him and my DH being reasonably calm once they had got the dogs apart, and he was saying ‘he’s never done this before’.
I said something like ‘you should keep your dog under control’ but then his wife said ‘ I told you to keep walking on’. I think it was the adrenaline, but I’m completely not usually like this, but I squared up to her as I thought this was completely rude – and shouted ‘how could I? Your dog had a hold of my dog’. She then made out it wouldn’t have happened if I moved on. I was fuming that she could even suggest it was my fault. I might have shouted something like ‘how dare you tell me what I should do – your dog attacked mine’.
My DH guided me away and told me the man had apologised, and then the other man then shouted at me ‘look, I’ve said twice I was sorry.’
I calmed down a bit and said a very angry thank you, but that was not what his wife was saying, but DH pulled me on and I knew it was better if I just walked on as I didn’t want the children to see all of this.
Thankfully my doggy is okay, and further down the track (I was in tears) the man shouted to ask if our dog was okay.
I powered on. But it was so horrible, and I was scared the DCs were about to be bitten or see their dog ripped to pieces, added to the fact people were staring at me crying, I feel totally and utterly traumatised. I’m also angry that DH made me walk on when I frankly wanted to read the riot act to the woman, I can’t get past feeling upset. I now feel completely traumatised and keep bursting into tears and getting angry. I can’t believe I turned shouty and angry – it’s not like me AT ALL.
How do I get past this? I feel like I never want to be around other dogs again. Has this happened to you and how did you deal with it? It scares me that if I was on my own I'd have struggled to act.

AIBU to have had an angry shouty reaction like this and what can I do now? I'm fine and then it all keeps making me get cross/cry.

This is making me feel a lot better - I've spent the afternoon thinking I have some kind of irrational anger problem.
Welshmaenad that sounds awful - so brave of you to jump in to save the dog.

I've had stuff like this happen before. I've started taking videos when other dogs have become too vicious with mine. I'm sick of being blamed by other irresponsible dog owners.

I had a cat in the garden bothering my cat yesterday. When I approached it, it jumped up and clawed me. I was in a panic because I'm pregnant, but the scratch didn't go too deep.

It was more stupid than brave, I'm very prone to infection and would have been quite ill if I'd been bitten. I'm such an impulsive twat

Still, Scruffy the dog was saved and he even sent me a thank you card after the ordeal! Luckily he recovered from his bite wounds just fine.

A dog ran at mine and locked on to his neck once when I was holding by toddler on my hip and had my 4 year old near me ( husband taking pics of a swan a little way away) I kicked it in the head to get it off and everyone close learned new words. You did really well. Husband and dog owner came running both apologised,both dogs fine in the end, mine was nervous for a while.

that must have been very Upsetting. My dog is wonderful but a total.coward so if another dog attacked him that way he would be in trouble.
I know it's completely different circumstances but it reminds me of an incident when I was a child and I was walking our dog with my mum in the local nature reserve, there were some teenagers riding a motorbike illegally and came bursting down the path and we couldn't get our dog out of the way fast enough and they went straight over him (I still feel sick thinking about it now). My mum is usually the most controlled and timid.person but I just remember her screaming and screaming at these people and sobbing, that sticks with me more than the incident. The dog was OK thankfully but he had to have 2 toes amputated. Anyway, sorry for the tangent!
I hope you and your dog are OK

You did very well in a truly awful situation.
How is your little dog? How are your kids? Are you OK?

What an utter bitch. I don't have a dog but if I were her I'd be grovelling.

I'd have asked her who's side the police would take and wether she wanted to risk having her dog destroyed to find out their opinion.

It's such a scary situation. Our dog was attacked a couple of years ago by a bigger dog. I was pregnant at the time and I totally flipped out at the other owner, DH didn't know what to do and walked me and ddog away but I just lost it and cried my eyes out all the way home. Ddog was fine but I felt tense for weeks after, and even now I feel a bit panicked if I see the same kind of dog that attacked her approaching. Your in shock now so have a good cry and chat about it. I found it helpful to walk with friends and relatives that have dogs, so ddog was in a little friendly pack and I wasn't in my own until I got my confidence up

DontTouchTheMoustache how awful, poor thing. Glad to hear he was okay.
This must happen a lot more than I thought, hearing everyone's replies.

It's horrible when our beloved dogs are attacked isn't it. They're part of the family so of course we are going to react, and I definitely don't think you have an anger problem; the shock of an attack can make us behave in ways that surprise ourselves eh! I suspect the owners of the other dog are more upset by it than they may have appeared as embarrassment and shame can make people defensive. I actually feel sorry for everyone involved.

And talking about odd reactions, I saw a lovely lab pup get bitten on the muzzle recently by a much older dog and although I didn't say anything I actually felt really tearful. Pup was fine BTW. I was missing my old pooch who had died a few months before though so that might have been part of it.

Know you don't have an irrational anger problem - I think your reaction was very normal.

My Mum once had to split up a dog fight - and she worked as a vet nurse in the past so was used to all sorts of dogs. She still found it pretty traumatic.

In her case she was looking after my sister's two dogs, one was a greyhound, one the larger kind of dachshund. The greyhound suddenly and totally out of character went for the daxi- got him by the neck and bit him really badly.

Mum got them apart grabbed the daxi and carried him dripping with blood out of the house and ran with him to the vets. He was OK after an operation - but it was touch and go for a while.

On a slight comedy note (which we can laugh about now) initially as she was running with the injured dog, Mum mistook a care home for the vets (it was next door) and rushed in, dog dripping blood, shouting 'help my dog's been attacked'. The old people were very bemused (Mum had to pay afterwards to get their carpet cleaned).

Anyway - you did well - dog fights are bloody scary - I'm glad your little dog is OK, the other dog's owners sound like twats.

You were VERY restrained, I would've exploded!
When my oldest boy was around 2/3 he was attacked by a lab tied up outside the shops. (My dog was on a lead, walking past) The other dog was a big lab, and he had my dogs whole head in his mouth! I, like you, froze! I can't remember how I separated them, but the dogs owner came out of the tanning shop next door, gave a very insecere apology and said her dog had never done that before. I may have screamed in her face (I'm quite gobby ) told her she was an absolute fucking idiot and told her if my dog needed treatment it'd be coming out of her pocket!
He didn't, thankfully, but he did have two puncture wounds, one above his eye, one under his chin, but we kept them clean and he's got two little, perfectly round scars.
I would also have got their pet insurance details in case your dog does need treatment for it in the long run, but I know that's the last thing on your mind when these things happen. Hope you and your poor little dog are okay OP. How horrid!

Yes, DCs okay - upset that they thought he might be hurt, but when we said we'd checked him over, they got on with the walk.
I've just checked my dog over again, and he seems fine - no sore bits.
TBH he's really so furry I hope the other dog might have choked anyway.

I'm feeling so much better than I was thanks to you all - I felt like I was in shock, partly at the attack and the anger, but I think I scared myself at how angry I got. I don't baby my dog, but I love him dearly and he's so gentle it felt like one of the DCs had been attacked.
I've had a G&T and a good old cry now DCs are in bed. DH avoiding me because he's not sure why I'm so angry/upset still and doesn't know what to say!

You did not overreact at all. Any aggressive dog is a serious concern. My friend has a guide dog and this could have happened to them.

I would actually be phoning the RSPCA or dog warden and talking through your concerns. This dog - if aggressive - could go for a child.

Also, any dog whether on a lead or off - 'out of control' is an offensive and the owner are responsible. The fact that they were trying to blame you is very worrying - they are not responsible dog owners who would be mortified and contacting their vet or someone immediately for further training and advice.

YANBU, remember people like police and fire crews go though years of training to keep control in an emergency, and they dont all pass the test.

I would bring your dog to the Vet to get checked over - and they may also be able to offer advice. This really isn't on.

It's a scary situation and it's not surprising you found it difficult to manage. But despite the fact you were in the right and the other family in the wrong, your response was not a helpful one. So I think you're right to question how you responded and wonder about how to respond differently in the future. I was a police officer (many years ago) and was often in situations where adrenaline was running high. I found the trick to responding effectively instead of emotionally was to focus on being active and on assessing disspationately with an goal in mind - Safety of first children, then other humans, then dogs, in this case, then on getting details of the dog owners so you can report the attack.

It's important to remember, when trying to be calm in these situations, that many people react defensively when they are in the wrong. So the woman who was totally unreasonable having a go at you, was probably running on adrenaline and fear too - not intentionally being a bitch, but unable in the heat of the moment to step back and see the true picture and realise that her dog (whom she no doubt loves) was being vicious. Later she may well realise she was out of line. People are like that.

So you weren't wrong to be upset. You weren't wrong to not have kept going. The other family should have had control of their pet and were in the wrong. But ranting and shouting at them was not a good response. Freezing when something happens is not a good response (I have no advice on that though as it's not something I experience). And it's not good, because it doesn't help the situation in any way. It won't make the family realise they were in the wrong more than calmly dealing with he situation would and it will scare others and potentially the dogs. Anger is a useful emotion, but not when it's unleashed chaotically.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience

You get past it by now knowing for a fact that when push comes to shove that you can stand up for those you love.

The guy that had the other dog apologised twice, twice! Lots of women can't get the bleeders to apologise once never mind twice xx And for what it's worth, the tears afterwards are quite normal, it's shock that does that.

As for the practicals, the best thing to do is get walking your dog as soon as possible, try your very best to shrug off what happened as they pick up on your fears, but get out there and get socialising with other dogs again so that yours 'dilutes' the experience and you both build confidence again.

Perfectly normal behaviour when you get a scare like that.
Hope your dog is ok and feel better soon.

I was walking down our street years ago with a toddler on my hip and my 4 year old daughter beside me.

A not very friendly dog belonging to our neighbours approached us and started snarling and barking at us. My daughter ran. The dog chased her. I tried to catch up. One of the scariest things that has ever happened to me.
Fortunately the dogs owner came out her house. She must have heard me shouting hysterically. "Come and get your fucking dog!" Or something like that.
She got the dog before any damage was done but my God did she get an earful. I don't do confrontation normally but I was furious and very upset.
DH went round to their house later to make sure this wasn't going to happen again. The dog had escaped from a hole in the fence and they were planning on replacing the fence. They did pretty soon after. Was still scared walking past their house though and the dog had previously jumped from a first floor window to chase another neighbour and her kids down the street.

YANBU.

We saw a staffie attack a small dog on holiday last year, it was terrifying. Hope you are feeling better, it's really scary.

My cat was killed by a staffie and the owners were obnoxious about it and tried to blame the cat and me (not their out of control dog who was off lead!). I went fucking ballistic. You were defending your precious dog and no one would blame you for knocking her flat. Well done.

My dog got attacked a few weeks ago, and I utterly and completely lost it screaming at the other owner as she just did nothing! I had my grandson with me, was covered in blood from my dog and whilst keeping my language under control, was so so angry I could barely speak cohernently, just yelled. It was a combination of shock and adrenaline, and I felt awful that evening too.
It's so horrifying to have your dog attacked. I reported to the Police as I knew where the owner lived. At the end of the day, these people weren't in control of their dog - simple as. I hope your poor dog is OK, check carefully for puncture marks. Mine seemed fine that day but was in obvious discomfort the next and when I took him to the vet, he had a temperature and needed antibiotics. He'd also swallowed blood that upset his stomach for a good few days.

You aren't being remotely unreasonable. It's a horrid thing to go through. Hope you feel better tomorrow .

Thanks for the responses.
Should it happen again, I'll try and keep it a bit more together to get details. I think I was thrown so much I had already convinced myself that they wouldn't hand them over. I forgot I was on NT property and actually on the way back there were lots of signs saying 'keep dogs close/under control'.
I haven't seen a dog fight/attack before and the quickness and aggression threw me. I always thought there would be warning signs first - growling, circling or something.

Sorry you went through this OP, I would have reacted exactly the same! I hate those bloody extending leads, I don't know why anyone uses them they are dangerous for animals and humans.

Of course you were upset and angry - your dog is another child to you. (And anyone who argues with that has never loved a dog.)

Thanks JaneEyre70 - that is exactly what it felt like. I couldn't even get the words out properly at the time. I wanted to say 'that could have been a child' but instead I think I turned purple and stuttered.