Aibu to ask your opinion on renewing wedding vows

[Whatsername17]

Really interested to hear other people's opinions on this. An acquaintance of mine is renewing her vows on her 5th wedding anniversary. The event is going to be like a second wedding - big dress, wedding breakfast etc. I was chatting to dh about the venue, which is lovely, and dh said it would be nice to renew our vows one day. We've been married 7 years. I quite fancy doing it, but just us and our kids in Vegas or somewhere similar, perhaps for the 10th or 15th anniversary. Dh thinks friends and family would want to come so we should do it here. It's all completely hypothetical but mumsnet is always good for a general consensus before I consider the idea or bin it off completely. What I'm basically asking is people's opinions on vow renewals. Naff or not? It's not a judgement on my friend either, I'm very much a 'do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone' so I'm not making a judgement.

Like others have said I'd assume someone had cheated.

No we aren't thinking of doing it now. Or at all really. I do quite fancy a Vegas renewal like I said, more because I'd have loved to have eloped to Vegas when we were engaged. I never realised people would assume it was because of an affair. I hadn't even considered that! I guess I am still as naive as I was at 22!

If your wedding was a complete disaster, then I think it is nice to do it again the way you want it. But if you had a nice wedding I don't really see the point.

That comment about it being something couples do after one has had an affair, has put me off a bit tbh.

I always assume someone's cheated. Sometimes I know they have.

Renewing vows to me says you didn't mean them properly the first time. I think it's cheesy and just another way to be centre of attention (and, for some, to get more gifts).

Milestone anniversary parties yes, if you make it to 20+ years.
How renewal would just make me think someone cheated.

We've been married nearly 20 years and together nearly 30.

I don't under the need to renew wedding vows. The promises I made were promises for life.

We'll no doubt have a party of some kind for our 25th but I can't imagine ever needing a renewal.

I'm afraid that like previous posters I'd assume a renewal was required to remind someone of their vows because they had forgotten them.

And from my point of view 5 years is no time at all to be married.

We did a few years ago on our 17th anniversary, funnily enough we hadn't cheated despite the attitudes here. We were on holiday in California and u had always wanted a beach wedding so it was perfect. Just me, DH and 2 of our boys. A simple ceremony and then an hour of playing on the beach and in the sea (yep in my dress) until sunset. Wonderful memories and wonderful photos.

I generally assume that someone has cheated.

Seal and Heidi renewed their vows every year- they didn't make it past seven!

I am going off to Vegas on our 20th anniversary to do it again but this time have a drink and enjoy it more as was pregnant last time

I think you would have something to "fix" if you were renewing your vows. I'm all for a big anniversary party - 25 years for example but why would you need to renew your vows - you said them, you meant them, it's sort of a one off thing with a person.

As PPs have said, unnecessary and pointless - vows aren't time limited - or possibly indicative of an affair. The only exception in my circle of acquaintances is a couple who'd gone through a horrendous time with ill health and wanted to celebrate the significant anniversary after an all-clear - that seemed a more understandable reason to mark of a fresh start, one we were very happy to celebrate with them.

Naff.

Very naff, in fact.

I would cringe a bit to be invited to a vow renewal.

Like others I generally assume some one has cheated otherwise what's the point , if you have not broken the vows why do they need renewing . We've been married 28 yrs this year and our vows have yet to wear out !

As above - no need to renew if you've kept them.

The only really nice one was a couple who did it on their Golden wedding (5) with just their kids and grandkids at the Church and then had a lovely party afterwards.

I'd love to do it all over again, my wedding day really was the best day of my life! But, it would never be as good doing it again, so I don't see the point, unless like many people have said, somethings gone on.

Laguna your day sounds lovely, I hope we haven't offended you.

I was thinking about seal and heidi. Used to think it was really romantic - until they divorced!

Laguna that's the sort of thing I'd like - something fun with my kids. Sounds lovely. I wouldn't want to have a second wedding with lots of people. I'm thinking of that couple from Gavin and Stacey now!

I find it naff and silly.

I think they are something to do at say 25 or 40 or even 50 years, not after a few.

I have close friends who 'updated' their vows on their 10th wedding anniversary and included their DCs (8 and 6). They made promises (rather than vows) to their DCs and their DCs made promises back (they wrote them themselves - with help from their grandparents! - and they were very funny and cute). They just did it themselves with immediate family, very close friends and children's godparents. It sounds really naff but it was actually really lovely. One of their DCs had been very ill and it was a bit of a reset button after a long period marred by her illness. Very emotional.

I'd think you'd had a crisis in your marriage.

Thank you. No not all quiet, dont worry! I do get the assumption there's been problems etc but we didnt go to California to renew our vows, we were going on a holiday of a lifetime anyway so just decided to do it because of my beach dream. I doubt we would have done it here. Plus it was special having the boys there as part of the ceremony