To think my husband has a drinking problem?

[Mumof3MasterofNone]

I feel kind of awful for thinking this but....
Husband drinks about 2.5 pints every night. This has been ongoing for years. Everything in moderation is his mantra. It's never bothered me until a recent holiday when everyday revolved around him being able to have his beer. He also won't eat with us anymore as he doesn't like to drink on a full stomach so he waits until the kids are in bed, has his beers then his tea. It's very ritualistic.
I let it go on holiday (god that makes me sound like a right nag) I mean I didn't make an issue out of it for the sake of the holiday.
Anyway we're back now, and he has suspected gout 🙈
Doc says beer is the worst cause. Husband disagrees 'everything in moderation'. Apparently doc says it's common after holiday as you get dehydrated. So it seems beer is off the hook with that one comment?

So all our weekend plans have gone awry because he can't walk. I'm doing everything. Last night he asks me to go to the shop. No problem, what would you like? The reply-beer!

So I said that I didn't feel comfortable buying him beer. Why don't you have a break from it to give your body chance to fight the gout. 'I don't want to' came the reply.
Apparently I'm trying to control him and he doesn't agree that beer does any harm. Maybe it wasn't the cause, maybe it was. Surely if there were doubt then it's sensible to have a break?
Is 2 beers a day every day too much?
AIBU??

Hope it works out x

Sorry not to have replied before op. You have been brace. I hope it works out for you. My husband is on another unplanned big night out that less than a week ago he promised he wouldn't do again. I don't mind the going out. It's the announcing to me in the morning he might be a bit late home and then not coming home until the early hours. Any excuse. He will be so hungover tomorrow he won't be able to function. I'm starting to not want to be with him any more. I don't understand how someone can want to ruin their life like this.

My dh has admitted he has a problem op. He won't accept he's an alcoholic but is prepared to accept he drinks too much (I don't see the difference to be honest). We were away at the weekend. Didn't eat on any evening until 10pm. It's so ridiculous. In his case I don't think it's about getting the hit on a smaller amount of alcohol, I just think he can't drink as much as he wants to on a full stomach. He's rarely really drunk but often that really annoying slightly chippy drunk. I don't see a future for us with this level of drinking continuing.

@sopsmum I know just how you feel. For me it was the dependance that stood out not necessarily the amount. Being someone who can take it or leave it it's easy for me to say I guess but I think that's healthier!

I don't mind my hubby going out ever but if it meant he couldn't function the next day I wouldn't be too impressed. He has responsibilities. Don't get me wrong I've had a few nights out with the girls in the past and suffered the next day but I'm older abs wiser now so I make sure I don't go overboard do I can be fresh and ready to be mum again the next day.
Is your OH unhappy about anything?

Best advice I can give you is something I got from here. You can't control what he does but you can control what you do. If his behaviour is making you unhappy and you are not prepared to live with it tell him so. It's up to him then xxx

That is good advice mumof3. I asked him this morning why he was trying to ruin his life. He ended up crying. I've got little tolerance for it now to be honest. I love him and hate to see him like that but there is actually an easy solution. I told him he needed to get help.

Well done @sopsmum! I know what you mean about little tolerance. Sounds like you have got yourself ground down by it all like me. Which makes it hard to sympathise 🙃
My hubby didn't have a beer last night but I know he found it hard. He was tense and didn't eat much!
It's going to be a long tough road.

We need to stick to our guns though and not enable the behaviour xx

So true. I sent him this article to read at work today. I think it resonated with him. He didn't drink last night either. I'm just not prepared to put up with it any longer. Whenever he drinks now I'm overwhelmed with feelings that I would be better off without him.

Part of the problem, I think, is that it's become socially acceptable to drink quite a lot at home. The whole wine o clock culture. I think this has happened to him without him realising , and without realising that it is abnormal to sink as much as he was daily. I don't drink like that but many of my friends are slightly worried by the amounts there other halves drink. It creeps up on you o think.

My husband seems to have no off switch, so he can go a night with none (although he doesn't really want to) but once he starts he can't stop. He's always the last man standing (often by hours) on a night out.

He's full of self congratulation for himself if he goes a night with none. Idiot.

Are Britons falling out of love with booze?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39785742

And that's exactly it, it's impossible to sympathise.