To ask what you miss most about pre-baby life?

[missb00]

Just that really. We are thinking about starting a family but want to know what you miss most about pre-parenthood??

Everything

I miss my old body! I never really appreciated it and now it's gone forever, my stomach is ruined.
I miss spontaneous trips out, going for meals or cocktails with DH, going to the cinema or the theater. I miss travelling. I miss going to museums and galleries. I miss having sex in the daytime. I actually miss sex full stop (some post birth issues at the moment which are not yet resolved but I am hopeful). I miss feeling energetic. I miss sleep!!!!! I miss earning "my own" money (even though this is completely irrelevant really as DH and I have always shared money and he more than appreciates what I do as a SAHM).

Most of all, I miss not feeling anxious. Having a baby has given me someone to worry about 24/7 and I will be concerned for her for the rest of my life. The thought of something happening to her is just too terrible to even express. It terrifies me.

But!!! I wouldn't change a thing. No way. My life is far richer for having her in it. I have never known a love even close to this. She is my everything and cheesy as it sounds, one smile or giggle or cuddle is enough to make even the crappiest day worth it. All the other stuff I can do again when she leaves home

niangua We too are on our own 3000 miles away from the closest family. I work FT as does DH plus he travels so I'm often on my own with 3DC. I work because of how it helps me be a better mother. I love my DC so very much but for 80% of their needs anyone can do it. I do about 40% of their needs and we have good childcare for the 60%. Now my youngest is 1 I'm focused on getting me back. I joined weight watchers (no slimming world where I live) and I go out with friends 3 nights a week.

Seriously switch up what you are doing. Get whatever help you can afford. I put my kids in classes subsidized by our town to give me a break. I also hire high school kids to baby sit.

Sleep
My waist
A tidy house
Time to do things I want to do. Actually it all boils down to this last one.

Going out with DH, I do miss the big, fun, spontaneous nights out we used to have as a couple. Now we go out separately (and not very often) unless for special occasions like weddings where we've had to plan babysitters weeks/months in advance. And sleep!

As for stomachs, those celebrities with flat stomachs are doing Pilates 3-4 times a week probably on a reformer.

I do a class a week and when I can get a second class in the difference in my stomach area is huge. I go from looking 4 months pregnant to just looking fat. The women who do reformer sessions are all walking around with perfectly flat stomachs.

Not having the constant anxiety about something happening to your child. It's like having splinters in your brain, permanently...

Sleep.

Holidays ('going away' with a child is not a holiday, it's just same shit, different location)

Doing exactly as I wanted, when I wanted without planning.

Having a demanding but hugely fulfilling job instead of the dull charade I now conduct so that I can have more time at home to endlessly pick up the same bloody toys off the floor and think about what Chubsie will eat at his next feeding time.
Freedom to book a flight and head off to walk around art galleries and museums.
Shopping and nights out.
More money.
But I wouldn't change it. He is the greatest joy of my life.

Sleep. I miss sleep.

Sex at random times of the day.

That e-mail at work at 4pm from DH suggesting meeting for a drink after work before the train home. Then just deciding to grab something to eat and staying out. ie. being able to be flexible without going out for a bite to eat needing booking in at least 48 hours in advance for babysitters.

sleep.

A flat stomach.

Sleep.

Working full time. I love my job and struggle to do it well part time.
Time to exercise
Time to read
Time to myself
TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME!!!

I definitely miss being spontaneous and able to just walk out of the door sometimes. And I miss having more disposable income to spend on myself. But these are really little things that pale into insignificance when I think about how much better my life is now I have my dcs. They have made me happier and more fulfilled in every way.

Time and space on my own for instance showering without being BOTHERED

Sleep

Sleep, morning sex, personal space, not taking about poo, peeing alone, reading, spontaneity.

Being alone

Being able to do whatever i want whenever I want. I think in retrospect we didn't go out for dinner enough.

SLEEP!
Weekend lie ins
Going out for nice dinners
Sex in the morning
Warm cup of tea
My waist line
Clean and tidy house
Watching films in the daytime
SLEEP!

But I cannot imagine life without them. They are amazing and I love them heart and soul even with the poonami that is my life

Having a wee by myself.

My memory

My unlimited cinema card

Booze filled bank holiday weekends

Morning sex

Being able to wear my hair down without having a toddler swing off it

I miss baths. I only get them these days if my toddler is in with me. I try to have some alone baths but he always has other ideas.

And don't do what I did and have another baby some years after the one you'd thought was your last. All the little freedoms you'd started to regain go away again and it is, for me, hard to be the mum an older child needs whilst also being the mum a young toddler needs.
(Feel the need to say, I don't regret ds3 at all, I just regret our timing!)

Freedom
Just thinking of myself

Sleep, freedom, spontaneity, me time, time with dh, money, travelling, experimenting with cooking ingredients, looks, weight..... Still love my ds but parenting is hard work and tedious.

My oldest was just getting independent when i went and had another so much harder with two

And yes to morning sex. Or sex in general. Hence we only have one dc.