To think breastfeeding has made no difference to my dd and is massively overrated in terms of benefits?

[Placeanditspatrons]

I've nearly driven myself to a breakdown feeding my dd. She is 16 months now and I'm still feeding. She has been ill more times and worse than my formula fed from four months son. She does not recover any faster and she catches anything I get and gets it worse, despite supppsedly the antibodies passing to her and either preventing or reducing the severity of the illness.

I know it's anecdotal and the studies say overall bf babies are healthier but how much healthier? I mean I we talking one less cold? One less ear injection? Statistically? Many of my friends have said similar. Again anecdotal but I can't help wondering - after the colostrum which is more important I guess - does it really make any noticeable difference?

Breast milk nearly killed my little boy literally! They told me to keep persever that breast is best, even tho I knew it was making him ill.

Getting him admitted to hospital when he was 6 weeks old as he's bleeding from his anus was horrific, that was not to mention his breathing difficulties and skin sores...

His consultant was amazing and luckily my yellow book proved to my consultant my fears but they put me down as a stressed and anxious mother soon we found out he had an allergy to casein.

Breastmilk stopped instantly and he was put on a extensively hydrolysed whey-based formula, but not until he had to have surgery on his bowel

He was on that until he was about 4, until we could provide him with a balanced and nutritional diet (he has a limited diet due to other allergies) he's 7 now and a big strapping lad on the 99th centile

He's actually considered obese which his consultant laughed at

He's now the same height and shoe size of his 11 year old brother, however the 11 year old is dainty and the 7 year old is well built and in proportion, if he keeps growing the way he does his consultants think he will be 6ft 2-5 by the time he is a teenager, which is not surprising since our Dads where both over 6ft.

I honestly don't think it matters if you feed your child breast milk or formula, if they are going to be a sickly baby, they are and no amount of milk is going to change that no matter what form of milk it is.

My point being OP, they get all the illnesses when little, I think it's a mix of their vulnerable as babies and also having compromised immune systems, they won't forever be like this, they do outgrow it, even with ds2 having a compromised immune system, he is not getting ill all the time now, he's still picking up illness more that your average child but at least now it's lessening.

And TBH this is not really just a feeding issue. It's also about child development. If you are happy with committing to feeding on demand until the child decides to stop themselves then it's great. The problem with that is not many women can commit and many don't want to. Sometimes they get to 16 months, are feeding through the night, desperate with sleep deprivation and just give up altogether thereby taking away the comfort or replacing it with something else like formula or a dummy.

Haybales, thank you!

So can you please give your heads a bit of a wobble and start actually thinking about the OP's issue which is to do with feeling overburdened by comfort feeding her 16 month old at night - which is not anything to do with breastfeeding and which she doesn't need to do. She can start changing her child's sleep and comfort feeding associations. Just giving up BF and, mostly likely, replacing comfort BF with comfort FF doesn't address the sleep associations issue.

I've to give my head a wobble Offred?

I only read the OP, where she talks about the correlation between the benefits of breastmilk and her child.

it may have moved on however not everyone has the time to read a whole thread, and it cannot be expected that people do either. people will post based on the OP.

It's perfectly possible to campaign fur better breastfeeding support without denigrating formula which for many people has kept their children alive because breastfeeding failed. I am aware that a number of posters do as I've said above and don't actually try and tell people that formula is shit but quite a few posters do on these kind of threads. It doesn't do your cause any good whatsoever to make women feel shit as a starting point. That's not going to get people on side.

No, the posters repeatedly conflating what I said about comfort feeding with extended BF and implying I said comfort BF will teach your adult child to be a comfort eater of food when what I said was comfort feeding does not need to be a part of extended BF and it was a habit I didn't want to get into with mine.

I totally agree with you. Breast fed all three of mine. Hated every second. 2 out of the three sickly babies- all 3 horrific reflux. Ruined those baby days and feel sad when I look back. Was guilted into in and once you start it's too hard to give up and you think you are doing your child a disservice - total propaganda!
Went I look at formula feeding friends enjoying every second of their newborns it makes me feel sad for what I lost out on. I honestly didn't see any benefit to it at all.

I don't think feeding on demand makes a child more likely to comfort feed, I fed my children on demand and it's bloody hard work to get food down there necks.

I've had a wee look at your posts and I cannot see where you have said that Offred.

Ginger - your babies did not loathe bf - you did. ffs

I reckon anyone who says they enjoy every second of their time with their newborn is exaggerating slightly, however and whatever they are feeing them!

Offred I agree with you - that's exactly the sort of thing breastfeeding support is needed for but doesn't exist- how to get baby off the boob at night but still bf or how to create a different sleep association other than boob.
Other area support is needed is how to stop and information about how you might feel stopping (massive hormonal swings for me which even had me taking pregnancy tests even tho I definitely wasn't pregnant). Also advice for extended bf's on things like new pregnancies, diet, how to go back to work whilst still feeding. It's shocking you get support on the NHS for first one or two feeds and that's it (if you are lucky!). Most bf cafes ahd support groups are run by lll or nct.

The only newborn I actually enjoyed (DD) I reckon was because of hormones as I had an excellent birth with her. The other births were difficult as no1 I was in labour 7 days and burst all the capillaries in my face pushing, no 3 was twins at 40 +3 and about 12-14 hours after a really tiring pg. I remember feeling all appreciative of her shit dad (who really didn't deserve it AT ALL) about 3 days postnatal. I was out eating lunch in the pub that day with toddler DS and my friend too and missed the midwife. I just remember feeling completely irrationally happy and in love with her as a newborn but it was all hormonal and disappeared around 6 weeks. Though she was also my easiest baby, just wanted to be on me and feed, slept with me, I had enough sleep etc. Twins didn't have effective latch and were a total nightmare. DS was more normal.

Thanks sunshine - that's part of what I mean.

People considering extended BF seem to be left to follow an attachment parenting 'method' where they are told if you don't baby wear and comfort feed all night you aren't doing it right which is quite far away from attachment theory which is based around responding effectively and in a timely manner to your baby's needs.

And it does lead to negative experiences of BF for some. Attachment parenting should be about really getting to know your baby and what they need, not follwing some rules.

Attachment parenting with FF helps to reduce some of the risks of FF but some of the movements imply unless you BF you can't be doing AP.

And the comments and prejudice you get feeding after 1 - it's so looked down on. Most people tell you've done enough, are you still feeding, gosh when are you going to give up etc. I never dared feed out and about after about 11 months for fear of the looks or the anti breast brigade thinking I was an exbitionist wanting to flaunt my boobs etc just look at some of the comments on the daily mail stories about breastfeeding and you can see some of the horrid attitudes bfeers have to face. (Yes dm readers not a fair potion of society but they still exist about there!).

Yes, true though I just fronted it out! I don't care what other ppl think. It was a bit difficult to deal with my MIL's comments though!

So we now have a thread with a growing number of people saying that ff is better than bf...............

If you are still feeding at 11 months you aren't necessarily 'feeding on demand' though. Just like if you are giving your baby formula at 11 months you aren't necessarily giving the formula in a bottle or giving it on demand.

Who said it was on demand itsmine? At 11 months my daughter had one scheduled feed in the day to get to sleep and I could never do this out.
And bf on demand at 11 months IS necessary if that's what mother and baby are doing. See judgements everywhere!
And yes - until you have bf in public you will never understand how horrid some of the looks of judgement and embarrassment can be - especially for someone like me who is very body conscious.

Sunshine I can assure you they did.

They hated being on the breast and were cranky,miserable,hungry,underweight and irritable. They cried continuously.

The difference when we switched to formula was amazing. I actually started to see how lovely babies could be. They oozed happiness,calm and contentment. They also began to thrive.

Green ginger that's not them hating bf - that's them hating a probably a poor latch and low milk supply. Something working with a lactation consultant could have helped with even if you ended up mixed feeding.